Curse
by BlueSea14
Summary: Bella says goodbye to the pack at Emily's wedding reception in La Push. But a redhead is waiting, with a nasty surprise in hand. Now, she must survive and find her way back to the Cullens--where things may never again be the same.
1. Prelude

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N 1/17/07** – A reviewer asked for a summary of my story, and I decided that I should post it here, too. Here's the full summary for you!_

_Bella thought that she was home free with graduation approaching and the promise to have her changed into a vampire to be with her true love Edward for eternity. That's why she doesn't think twice about the small reception party for Emily and Sam's wedding - Sam, the leader of the werewolf pack of the Quileute tribe. With her best friend Jacob considering her an enemy for choosing to be with her vampire love instead of him, she has the difficulty of letting the pack see that she's not there as a threat to them._

_However, the vampires, werewolves, and Bella overlook the simple fact that there is another vampire after her, one who wants her dead. They didn't think she would dare show up on the lands of the Quileutes, but are proven wrong when she does, and manages to get her hands on Bella and then escape into the ocean dragging the bitten Bella with her. _

_The venom of the vampiress was only supposed to change Bella into a vampire. But because of the amulet connection, Bella becomes something different, like a vampire but more. When it all comes to a showdown with the Cullen family, Quileute tribe and Victoria, the vampiress gets away - leaving Bella behind. _

_Suspicion is cast on the fact that Victoria simply gave up, but that's the least of their worries. There's still the mystery of what Bella is, how to fix her, and then there's the little fact that Bella and Edward are more like each other than they realized at first after one last mishap threatens to tear it all apart..._

_**A/N 1/7/07:** I redid Ch. 1, 2, 3, and 4 'Songs To Listen To', so they might be different now. Check if you want! Thanks for reading!_

_**A/N-** This is something that I started a while ago (12/5/06) but since I have so many other fics up and ongoing I decided to hold this one off for a little while. Now, though, I have finished the story plan and that's why I am posting it now._

_This is the second brainchild of mine that has taken forever to work on, and I am still fervently working on it. I hope you enjoy this story, because this is one that I actually know when things are happening in it 'cause I wrote up a story plan. :) _

_Love you all! _

* * *

**_'Dani California' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers_**

_Getting' born in the state of Mississippi; __Papa was a copper and mama was a hippie_

_In Alabama, she would swing a hammer; p__rice you gotta pay when you pick the panorama_

_She never knew that there was anything more than poor: w__hat in the world what does your confidant take me for?_

_Black bandana, sweet Louisiana, r__obbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana_

_She's a runner, rebel, and a stunner o__n her merry way sayin' baby watcha gonna_

_Looking down the barrel of a hot metal 45 - j__ust another way to survive_

_California, rest in peace_

_Simultaneous release_

_California, show your teeth_

_She's my priestess; I'm your priest_

_She's a lover baby and a fighter: s__houlda seen her comin' when it got a little brighter_

_With a name like Dani California__ day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya_

_A little loaded she was stealing another breath; __I love my baby to death_

_California, rest in peace_

_Simultaneous release_

_California, show your teeth_

_She's my priestess; I'm your priest_

_Who knew the other side of you? __Who knew what others died to prove_

_Too true to say goodbye to you: t__oo true too sad, sad, sad_

_Push the fader, gifted animator; o__ne for the now and eleven for the later_

_Never made it up to Minnesota, __North Dakota man was a gunnin' for the quota_

_Down in the badlands she was savin' the best for last: i__t only hurts when I laugh - g__one too fast_

_California, rest in peace_

_Simultaneous release_

_California, show your teeth_

_She's my priestess; I'm your priest_

_California, rest in peace_

_Simultaneous release_

_California, show your teeth_

* * *

**_Curse_**

**Prelude**

As a young girl, I had always thought I would see the world before my death. I had wanted to see places I had dreamed of or heard about, and when I met my angel, I thought it could be possible. If I were one of what my angel was, then I would be able to see that world he saw, be with him for eternity so we could see it together.

I never once considered that the chance to be together could be taken away from us.

Thinking we were immortal together after the red demon encounter was foolhardy, ironic. Once I was immortal, it hadn't mattered at the time that I was…_what_ I was.

I was a different type of immortal than he, and the fate of our relationship was in the balance, dangling even more precariously than before. I was foolish not to realize that, to see it before – I couldn't even think it now for the pain it caused.

It was ironic that before, he had told me to always be cautious around him, for he was so much more powerful than I. Now I was the danger, the demon, and for him to be close to me again was a horrible fate for him to suffer.

Telling myself it was he and his family that I did this for did not quell the anxiety I felt. The urge to run away from this place was still great, for some reason unfathomable to me in my current state of despair. Not caring had become my specialty for this task; if I didn't worry, then it didn't matter.

But still I felt as if I were sealing away my heart, in this curse that had chosen me to carry it. The red demon had gone insane, but I was still whole…to a point. The shielding of my decisions from my sister made me different than them, less whole in some way; what kind of inhuman creature like me could live without a future?

Not for long, for the removal of this curse would cost me something according to those who determined that they could, but then it would be gone. And I would be free.

So he would be free and I could be with him for eternity.

The stone sculpture standing in front of me was tall and crafted so long ago; no person save I stood outside of it, simply looking up. There were people there, milling around me, but I did not see them, truly. And I only heard the wind howling past, even in this crowded marketplace outside of the temple.

The sun was falling down behind the sands that swirled around me, shifting the sari around me and tugging at my hood. My long, skintight gloves hid my skin as I lifted a hand to steady the cover over my face.

A disguise such as this was necessary in the place I had come. The locals wore clothes much like this, for the type of community and the environment. I did not stand out here, for women were to be covered as such or be thought of as shameless.

Even if he came now, he would not know which person I was – there was many a woman in the same type of sari as I, numerous ones in the same color. My skin was hidden from the sun, and my hair was properly up and pinned, according to the desert custom of this area.

The only hint would be my scent, but in this marketplace there were so many perfumes that I reeled in them even as I smelled the humans' own flavors hidden under the aromas that assaulted me.

The temple of sandstone had one door, as I remembered from the day before. Taking a last look at the twilight, through the robed masses milling around in the marketplace, I caught glimpses of the people as well; a local in his desert trousers and shirt, a foreigner in her sundress, a pale person – likely a scholar – standing in the shadows, trying to move forward yet keep out of the sun at the same time.

I turned back to the door, knowing that attempting to hide from the sun here was exceedingly difficult. In five seconds the sun would be setting, and then I would go in as instructed. Wondering why they had such methods for this ritual was useless, as I had already found; only they knew the secrets, and I was merely the subject.

My tail swished underneath my clothes in the tight skirt, just the tip. It would be unnoticeable to any of the humans, so I was not worried. My ears pricked up a bit as the sun finally faded behind the dunes.

Breathing in slowly, I moved with the liquid grace I had started to become accustomed to and reached out for the silver handle of the stone door. It was molded into a cat, with piercing topaz eyes and a slightly humanoid figure despite its catlike physique, and distinct traces of red from the corners of its' mouth drizzling downwards: ironic, in a way, but fitting something like me.

Unable to resist a bittersweet last look, I bid my farewell to the setting sun with a quick glance over my shoulder to it, catching the last ray of light as it fell across my hand. The sheer gloves covered my skin in such a way that it didn't matter. The glitter effect was visible only to me, with the vampire eyes sharpened with what I had become.

Sealing my breaking heart, I resolved to find him after this was done. I had something to do now, and I faced the door, preparing to go through with it.

* * *

_A/N – I drew it out a bit, but I wanted to give you as much as I could. I chose this scene for a few reasons, but mainly I wanted to see what I could get away with. I hope not too much was revealed! Review, please, and tell me if this is good or not. Also, there were a few – actually, more than a few; I went foreshadowing crazy – hints in here, and also, a clue as to what is going to happen. And just so you know, this is from Bella's point of view. You'll see how, for those of you whom I know are going to ask that question about her… if you actually read, then it kind of jumps at you. :)_


	2. Reception

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N –** I hope you liked the prelude. Here is the first actual chapter for you to enjoy! It was started on 12/5/06._

_**Song To Listen To:** The song I picture here is 'Savin' Me' by Nickleback – it **foreshadows** what is to come, just so you know. :) And that's just for this chapter! Enjoy reading!_

_If you must know, '**Dani California'** **started this fic**, but '**Savin' Me' gave me the way to interpret** **it**. These lyrics might as well be the serious deal, the ones that tell me what's going to happen in this story. Just FYI. :) I'm going to use this song again, I think, in the chapter where a big turning point is._

* * *

_'**Savin' Me' by Nickelback**_

_Prison gates won't open up for me, on these hands and knees I'm crawlin' - o__h, I reach for you_

_Well I'm terrified of these four walls; these iron bars can't hold my soul in_

_All I need is you - come please I'm callin'_

_And oh I scream for you - come please I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

_Show me what it's like to be the last one standing and teach me wrong from right and I'll show you what I can be_

_Say it for me, say it to me and I'll leave this life behind me - say it if it's worth savin' me_

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me with these broken wings I'm fallin' and all I see is you_

_These city walls ain't got no love for me I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story and oh I scream for you_

_Come please I'm calling and all I need is you - hurry, I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

_Show me what it's like to be the last one standing and teach me wrong from right and I'll show you what I can be_

_Say it for me, say it to me and I'll leave this life behind me - say it if it's worth savin' me_

Hurry I'm fallin'

All I need is you - come please I'm callin' - and oh I scream for you - hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

_Show me what it's like to be the last one standing and teach me wrong from right and I'll show you what I can be_

_Say it for me, say it to me and I'll leave this life behind me - say it if it's worth savin' me_

Hurry I'm fallin'

* * *

**_Curse _**

**Reception**

Long days had come back again, and with them arrived a quickly approaching summer. Graduation would be coming very soon, and if I had any say in it, so would my change.

Edward was extremely reluctant to have me cross over onto the vampire side, although I could not see why he wasn't accepting it. If Carlisle went through with his deal, then I would be just like him after graduation.

His primary reasoning that I deserved to live life without him was shaken after his leaving. After all, if I didn't have him then I was utterly useless, a shadow of myself, and he knew it.

I wanted to be able to throw my trust in him again, but it was slow going because I did not trust myself at all. I knew it wasn't a dream, of course; if it was a dream, then I would be dead when I awoke for the disappearance of my love from my world would be entirely too much for me to live anymore.

But I still harbored the now-fading fear that he would leave me. It was disintegrating with time, those feelings that he would not be with me forever, now that I had a resolution permanently set in my sights. It was looming closer and closer, and I was looking forward to it.

Of course, that did not allow Edward to see what I wanted was him, and only him. Hung up as he was on me remaining mortal, I noted that his only argument seemed to be for fear that I would not live as I wanted to. Why he thought that, I could not see.

Our arguments went in endless circles; wasting away time as we neared that end that was in sight. At least that was set, I reminded myself, and otherwise this arguing would be taking away those precious minutes that I had left near him as human.

It was good, however, that he was taking our being together again with such thankfulness, as that strengthened my resolve although he did not know it. Showing that he cared was enough, but showing that he truly needed me was actually perilously close to stoking my ego.

He was constantly by my side; breaking apart for anything was excruciating for both of us, we who had not been together for a solid chunk of months. Waiting in my room for me when I came up at night, there in the morning when I awoke to his fingers softly tracing my face…the times we spent together made me feel guilty that he wasn't near his family.

Assurance that he spent time with them was necessary, and I was at least partially grateful for those sunny days when he promised me that he would spend time with them. The rest of those days I spent sad that he wasn't there, but the fear that he would disappear went away after some time.

The hurdle in our relationship that we were struggling to overcome was Charlie – at least, I was still struggling to overcome it. Edward, Charlie was dead set against. Me, he treated like a bad dog that needed to behave before I couldn't take it anymore.

Time limits for our visits, tracking my truck with a police scanner and equipment, and allowing absolutely no phone calls were the restraints he set against me along with the grounding. And that was just because of the motorcycle, after my original grounding had been a week from completion.

When I had faced him in the house after Edward was told rudely to leave, I was burning mad. Not just at Jacob for doing this, because that was mixed with sadness and guilt for my best friend treating me so harshly now, but at Charlie. Also into the pit of my swirling emotions were the fears I held, that Edward wouldn't be able to change me in time or that Victoria would hurt him.

That was our first real all-out fight. In the end, I emerged victorious, secure in the knowledge that after graduation, I would be free to go with Edward wherever I wished. Until then, we complied with the time limits, but my second prize was the bike.

My metal Frankenstein, which I had taken to calling Frank in my head, I kept although Charlie was reluctant to let me keep him. So was Edward, for that matter, but I reassured him that I could drive it – after a test-drive in which he ran beside me the whole way.

At the moment, I was stuck with Alice at the Cullen house for the moment. She was rummaging in the wardrobe she had shoved in Edward's room, which had been stocked with clothes bought for me.

Edward was lying on his couch, propped against the armrest with me lying on top of him. His nose was buried in my collarbone, causing distinct chills to ripple through me as he spoke grumpily.

"I still don't see why you have to go."

"We've run over this," I said gently, stroking my fingers through his hair. "It's for Charlie and Emily, because he's my dad and she's one of my best friends."

"But you have to go to _their_ territory. I can't protect you," he huffed. "It's just a wedding reception. Can't you just…not go?"

I sighed again. "Edward, Emily is finally marrying Sam," he growled " and I want to go see her, at least for a little while."

He held me tighter as Alice tapped her foot impatiently, having finally chosen something, but he let me sit up a little. "Edward," I looked into his sulking dark brown eyes. "Think of this as a good thing. If I am in La Push, then they have guards against Victoria." The growl rose in his chest. "So she can't get me. And you can go hunting without having to worry. Besides, it's only for a few hours. Take advantage of that time. And once you're back, think about that – you'll be fed. Less danger." That argument always worked on him.

Groaning as my reasoning worked on him, the steel arms slowly slipped down to my waist to rest lightly on my hips. Still sulking, he ground out, "All right, Alice, and you better make certain nothing happens to you Bella." After one breath-taking kiss, he lifted me up and Alice took me into her stone grip.

I laughed as Alice impatiently dragged me out of the room once my breath had slightly returned. "Hey, I'll do my best." He grinned my favorite grin, and then disappeared out of his room.

The downstairs door closed just before we reached Alice's bathroom, where she proceeded to throw the clothes at me and lock me inside. I looked down at it, and had to admit that even though she thought of me as a human Barbie, Alice had good taste in clothes.

Held in my hands were black leggings that hit my legs as Capri's and a thigh-length crisp white bell-sleeved sweater. A large-buckled belt went over the sweater and hung on my hips, the clasp a silver-embedded topaz disc.

Overall, I knew and was puzzled that Alice could have chosen something that would have made me look astonishing and thought for a moment about why she didn't do that this time; usually I had to pry her away with a crowbar from exuberant gowns and overwhelming, copious amounts of makeup.

I stifled a sad laugh as I realized that Alice had chosen this because she didn't want me to look outstanding at the reception. Shaking my head at her attempt to keep me away from the eyes of werewolves, I brushed my hair out on my own before a whirlwind hit the door.

Alice made me sit in the chair and twisted my hair into a ponytail, sticking a flower in at the base. It was white and I caught a whiff of it; the scent of a freesia. The irony made me grin, and she laughed lightly in pleasure at my guess when I asked, "Freesia?"

"Yes," she said as she quickly brushed –surprisingly light – makeup across my face. "I thought that it might be nice for you to look at least all right even if you're going to the hounds for a few hours."

Rolling my eyes, I gently reprimanded her as I stood up. "Be nice."

She sniffed as she placed the black ballet flats on the floor and I stepped into them. "They are, though!"

I wasn't going to win this battle, and I knew it. So, I shut my mouth and tried to stay out of starting an argument. "Well, thank you so much although I had an all right dress I could have used if you were going to try and make me look less appetizing."

"Well, I saw that dress and it was simply hideous, Bella," she snickered as she picked me up to take me downstairs. "Even if we didn't want you looking luscious, I think Edward might have fainted if he saw his Bella looking so odd."

"He can't faint," I grumbled.

"But all the same, he would have."

"My dress is not that disgusting." It was black with a square neckline and short sleeves, the hem hitting my knees at a straight edge. Plain and simple; my favorite style.

"Yes, Bella," she told me seriously. "It was." We were downstairs, and I was preparing to walk out the door. Jasper had shown up, quiet as ever and staying very carefully far away.

He always stayed further away from me now than he had before – I wished that I could talk to him, but I knew I wouldn't be able to until after I was changed. Only then could I sympathize with what he felt about what had happened without seeming hypocritical – well, sounding hypocritical to myself. And he wouldn't have to stay at least fifteen feet away to be safe.

I sighed heavily and turned to walk out the door. "Whatever, Alice. I happen to like that dress."

"Liked," she told me as I walked through the door and down to my car. I froze by it as her words finally hit me and turned back to the doorway, which now framed her and Jasper.

"_Was_? Like_d_?"

Her smug smile was all I needed to moan aloud and get into my car with a grumpy face. "Thanks, Alice. Thanks."

"No problem!" she called out as I backed up. I stuck my tongue out at her, and then laughed as she responded likewise. Before I disappeared into the line of trees that hid her house from my view, I saw her and Jasper waving to me from their door.

My drive to La Push was uneventful and quick. I got my old truck moving through the trees at an acceptable speed so that I would arrive just a little bit after Charlie. He must have left about five minutes before I did.

Passing into the reservation, I felt a slight chill as I realized that the last time I had been in there was not to long after I had seen Victoria in the water. The reception was going to be down on the beach – but I would be safe.

Alice hadn't seen anything more of Victoria, so that meant nothing was putting her in our futures at the moment. With luck, by the time she came around again I would be changed and able to defend myself – and help defend my family.

Carlisle had promised that the discussion of my change would be reopened after my graduation, and my change would probably be soon after that. I had told Edward what my greatest wish had been, although I knew it was likely impossible; that he would change me, instead of Carlisle.

He didn't know the full reason for that: I wanted him to do it: so he could prove to himself that he really did have control, one thing he thought he was lacking. Of course, I knew that if he truly lacked control, then I would have died the day I sat down in Biology in Forks High School for the first time.

The offer gave me in return for that wasn't even that; it was an ultimatum. If I married him, then he would change me. I refused, for the reasons that every kid who has divorced parents holds back for; I was afraid that marriage would be the end in our wonderful relationship because of the result for my own parents.

Ironic, really; I had no qualms about becoming a vampire, but at a simple marriage, I balked.

But for now, I had to put it out of my mind. I was coming up to the beach, where the party was at the moment. Billy and Charlie had a small tent up, and the rain forecast was for small showers, nothing too major in the weather area. The tent wouldn't hold long, but it would give them time to get back to the house that was up the beach, a bit further from the shore.

My truck roared to a stop and I knew by the stiffness of the pack a ways away that they had not only heard me, but also caught the scent of vampire. I had undoubtedly picked up Edward's scent, as I had been lying on his chest for much of the morning while waiting to come here.

The slamming of the door sounded somehow final to me, as I turned away from the truck with the small wrapped package in my hands. Charlie had brought the gift for Emily and Sam, but this small box held something I had meant to give Emily herself a while ago. With the Cullens back, I hadn't been able to cross the border – Edward didn't approve of my friendship with his family's mortal enemies.

I scanned the boys surreptitiously as I came up to the group of four under the covering, sitting at a table they had put up in it. Jared wasn't there – probably patrolling the border. The Cullens would guard their land as well, but if Victoria were back unforeseeably, then there would be no doubt about where she would head if she caught my scent by either group.

I felt horribly guilty for what my appealing smell might bring to all the people I loved, but Alice had not had any visions of Victoria coming back – surely that meant she wasn't going to be back so soon? After all, not seeing her meant that she had not decided to come here.

Jake wouldn't look at me; Embry glared, likely convinced I had played with his friend's heart – I had told Jacob we were just friends, but I should have backed off. I knew he wanted more, and I didn't exactly discourage his hopes. Paul wasn't doing anything, but that was probably because he was afraid of blowing up.

I swallowed hard when I saw Quil looking out into the ocean, not looking towards me. So he had become a werewolf too, after all. I felt sympathy for him, but knew that he was going to take the Quileute side in this thing that hung, like a pink elephant, between Jacob and I.

Emily stood up and came toward me, smiling as widely as possible despite the scars that ran down her face. Sam and Charlie stayed seated, and Billy kept his wheelchair in place. Sam made a move as if to block Emily, but once I looked him square in the eye, confused by his action, he sat with a slight puff of relief.

I glanced to Billy; his face was impassive, the searching look in his eyes suddenly reminding me of the other reason for their refusal to be near me as of now. What I had snapped at Jacob after the incident of the motorcycle; 'That's none of your business.'

They had been afraid that I was a vampire. But Emily had invited me anyway – me, specifically. She had told Charlie that she especially wanted me there with her phone call a few weekends before. I wondered why, as I smiled back at her.

"Oh, Bella," she enveloped me in a tight hug which I gladly returned, as tight as I could – which, due to my lack of muscles, was not very much. "I have wanted to see you for so long!" she exclaimed, pulling back and pushing me to arms' distance.

I laughed nervously. "Oh, really? Well, I've…I've been a bit busy, yeah…" I knew Jacob would be scowling by now.

"Right, right…did you finally choose a college?" she asked conversationally, knowing that the pack would think it was a cover story. Actually, it was a little bit but also was Plan B in case something – what, I couldn't imagine – persuaded me away from being changed so soon. Ha, as if that would happen.

"I chose one, yes, but I don't know yet if they chose me!" I gave Charlie a quick one-armed hug and turned to Billy and Sam. "Definitely on the East Coast, but it really depends on the acceptance letters which college there…Hello, Billy. Congratulations, Sam, Emily."

Sam nodded, as if barely keeping himself in check; I then saw that I was downwind, my ponytail blowing strands of hair into my face. Luckily, Emily caught on too. She took me gently by the elbow and began asking questions as we made our way downwind of the pack, talking about nothing in particular.

My subtly dropped hint abut the East Coast was something I had discussed with Carlisle – he had told me it would be safe for me to peacefully carry the message to the pack that they were going to be headed far from here, from Forks. Emily knew that, and made no more mention of it; for the pack and her, it had been perfectly obvious.

We took off our shoes and carried them, the soft sand cool and smooth around our feet. The conversation strayed around topics, but went in neither vampire nor werewolf directions. Slowly walking, we got far enough away that we could see the pack, but not their features clear-cut – more like through a thin fog.

I then handed Emily the wrapped package; she opened it to find a small picture inside. It was in her kitchen, that pretty room I remembered, taken a while back when I still visited the pack and Quileute territory. She and I were at the table, and I had propped the camera up to take random and candid snapshots.

This one was my favorite; I had made double prints. In it, she was laughing. Freely laughing, her scars showing but somehow, making her vibrant, radiant. And I too, laughed along. There was no underlying sadness, although if I looked hard I could sense it in myself from months of knowing exactly what was going on under my own skin. Both of us, captured in time – both human.

She swallowed hard and said, "Thank you, Bella," before wrapping me in a tight hug. I held her as well, both of us happy to have found friends in each other. I knew the pack could see us – benefits of inhuman senses – and wondered what on earth brought this about, but I didn't care at the moment.

We were friends, and any werewolf-vampire rivalry was not going to split our deep connection. We had made it ourselves through the bonding we experienced.

Emily and I sat on a rock down the shore, and she seemed ready to tell me something. I didn't have too long to wait before her speech came out. She traced patterns in the sand with her toe while I did the same beside me on the rock.

"I knew that you loved him, the vampire that is, after you came with Jacob that first time. You were so broken, the way he left you…and despite the closeness Jake wanted, there was always something missing, Bella. I could see that even if he had a chance, you wouldn't take it…because something wasn't meant to be with the two of you…

"I know the pack is feeling betrayed by your decision – to them, you're intent on becoming a bloodsucker even though I know the Cullens don't go after humans…and telling them it was none of their business, that was a bit hard on their egos. They like to think they can do everything…

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, that even though these boys are my family, my pack…I still think of you as part of it, too. And I think they do…deep down…_really_ deep down," we laughed at that. "…And I know he is your world.

"That look I saw in your eyes a few minutes before during our talk…we never said anything about either group in general, but some things reminded us of each one…and whenever the vampires moved into the topic, your eyes lit up. You have something meaningfully deep there, Bella, with that Cullen boy – or man? You can never tell their age, vampires…"

I said softly, "He's pretty old, I guess…He told me once…" as I remembered that long-ago conversation. How long ago it now seemed…I nearly blushed when I realized that the pack could still hear us from where we were; Paul was shaking in barely contained anger; something Billy saw, for he and Charlie began moving toward the car. I bet that Billy said he was getting tired out here; likely he just wanted to give Paul the space and protection in case he did loose control.

"How much older than you?"

"He was born in…nineteen oh-one? Yes, 1901." I nodded slowly, the red stealing over my cheeks. "104 years."

She let out a low whistle. Then I suppose our conversation was too deep, even after her speech to me, so she teased me a bit about older men. I laughed with her, glad that she found a way for us to laugh.

But as she stood up to walk back to the groups, I said softly, "Thank you, Emily. What you said…it means a lot."

Nodding gently, she whispered, "You're welcome, Bella."

I stayed sitting on the rock, in visible distance from the party so as not to be out of their supervision – as I am sure they set a watch on me – and thought about what Emily had said to me.

She saw the depth of my relationship with Edward. I thought that was rather amazing, as this must have been the first time she had actually seen me since Edward came back. Yet, I was glad someone had seen it, even better that a member of the pack could.

I felt guilty for thinking it, but I was glad that vampires were immortal, outlasting werewolves. Jacob would eventually move on to someone he could love completely, with all of his large and caring heart, and forget about me. He would move on, as I had not been able to.

But mine was justified, I knew: Edward and I were the real thing. This was pure, true love, not a school crush that Charlie liked to think it was. I was so thankful that Edward was back with me.

After a short time, I sighed and stood, ready to make my way back down the beach. Watching my feet as always while I walked, I kept a sharp eye out for anything slippery. The gusts of wind made my ponytail flip in the breeze, and I enjoyed the salty scent of it.

I almost ran into a pair of shoes as I walked headfirst and looking down. I snapped my head up, already saying, "Sorry," only for the words to vanish from my throat in an instant. One moment, and nothing was the same.

In front of me stood Victoria.

I nearly choked – nearly, but managed to keep myself together. Barely – instinct screamed at me to panic and run for my life. Thoughts of Edward ran about in my mind – why didn't Alice see this coming, how would I get away, what was going to happen?

In that instant before she said anything, did anything, moved at all…while my heart pounded out a few disjointed beats; I took in everything I could about her. Somehow, something might give me a clue as to how I would escape this.

She was wet, dripping water, I saw at once. Her wild hair was stuck together from the water, not quite as curly under the influence of the liquid. She had on traveling clothes, nothing in her arms or on her back. The leather ensemble, tough and durable, was soaked; something metallic glinted around her throat.

Her ruby eyes had a strange gleam to them, wild as her hair but concentrated somehow. I wondered what she was going to do as my breath became shallow, and had no time – no time left to move, think, react, nothing.

No time.

Her hand was around my throat in the blink of an eye – not even, she had begun moving as my eyes blinked. And her face was inches from mine as she raised her lips in a glistening snarl.

I don't know when I took the breath – it was utterly silent and unnoticeable to her, as she didn't try to silence it – I only know that I let out an ear-piercing shriek for barely half a second.

The wind was knocked out of me as I hit the ground, head snapping back on reflex and bouncing, coming to a rest with my face up. A boot placed itself over my neck; I tried uselessly to pry it off my ever-decreasing windpipe. Water was already trickling down the back of my neck, the salty smell making me gag as I gasped.

Wheezing, I looked over to the side helplessly as she snarled in my face, trying to intimidate and terrify, me. I could only see her face and the gray skies above, rain dripping into my face and water flowing over her cold skin.

It whet my lips, entered my mouth even as I tried to choke in a breath of air. Her gleaming teeth, venom coating them and likely filling her mouth, loomed closer and closer.

A sudden jolt – and I gasped and sputtered as I rolled onto my side, drawing in air desperately, greedily. Something stood over me and I heard snarling; from two different types of throats, growls and snaps sounded out amongst water droplets.

Curling onto my side, I glanced about dazedly, confused and helpless. As I gasped in air, I looked straight up into…fur. Reddish-brown fur.

Jacob.

The snaps and tearing sounds drew my gaze again, and I gasped for another reason as I saw wolves – Sam, Embry, Paul – throwing themselves at Victoria. Jacob was beginning to nudge at me with his paws, trying to get me to move away.

But I was frozen in shock: Victoria was very close to killing them, her fighting insanely fierce and violent. She shouldn't be throwing herself about with no hint of a plan for escape. She was randomly fighting – even I knew that, and I didn't know how to fight!

Her eyes locked onto me again, the pulsing, vibrant red darker. Darker…

I looked down. Blood smeared the palm of my hand, but the hand wasn't what bled. My hand reached up around the back of my head…it wasn't water that had started trickling when I got thrown down.

I thought that I would faint from the scent, that irony-salt tang that made me go weak. Two kinds of luck prevailed then, however; the wind carried the scent away from me…

But straight to Victoria.

Locking onto Jake's eyes, I was actually feeling scared for him; I saw that he knew what was wrong with her. And he looked even more frightened than I, if it was possible for a wolf to look afraid.

I didn't hesitate, only moved; running had never been so easy as it was then. Leaping to my feet took no time, and the urgency of it kept me propelled forward. Skimming along the flat and rounded stones across the beach, I soon neared the tent, and just beyond that my truck waited.

Charlie, Billy, and Emily were not there, the cruiser gone. When had Emily left? It didn't matter; I knew that Billy and Emily would keep Charlie safe. My only concern of the moment was that I make it out of the reservation right now.

Once I was out, the Cullens would be nearby – by now; Alice must have had some sort of vision. I prayed it was so as I panted and made it to my truck, barely.

'Barely' wasn't quite enough, though– my hand was inches from the door when a sharp whine reached me, and I did something I knew the moment I did it I would regret later.

I paused; for a brief second I considered turning around, although I dismissed the thought, knowing it foolhardy.

But in that one small second, she had enough time to get away from the snapping, snarling jaw of werewolves.

My shoulder was crushed into the pavement as I was thrown aside, limply slamming into the gravely dirt of the beach. My leggings tore along the right thigh and shin, somehow missing the knee – but it was enough.

The leg was scraped enough for blood to start oozing out; I think I smelled the salty odor before even Victoria.

Whatever was claiming her judgment right now, whichever force was convincing her that attacking me in La Push with my guardian werewolves about, now was overridden. The light that shone in her eyes was blanked out and I saw for a small second the predator.

A predator that wanted nothing more than to sink its jaws into me and not let go until I was dry and dead. Only for a moment, a small second in which I wished fervently for Edward to be here, to help me, and then it was all over.

All gone.

She leapt at me, lifting my shoulders off the ground – I had no time to react, to think, to try and get away – and her razor-sharp teeth stabbed into my throat.

* * *

_A/N – Yeah. I'm cruel, I'm mean, I'm awful for stopping this chapter here, I know, I know. But just so you know, this isn't all the action. This is an action/adventure/romance/angst/supernatural fanfic! But I can't put all of those categories up there, so…yeah. Review now, lovely reviewers! I love you all!_


	3. Change

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer._

_**A/N-** Here is your next chapter, wonderful reviewers! Thanks so much! I love you all! _

_Now, I know that Bella's change, as described as best I could in this chapter, is not what you would think of a vampire change – because it's supposed to be just a burning fire and all. Well, I did it this way for a reason because she isn't technically becoming a vampire. How can I say that? Wait and read the chapter and then the authoresses note at the end for SOME of the explanation (only some. The entire explanation will be in the story itself)._

_**Song To Listen To**: The song I picture here at this point is 'Born To Lead' by Hoobastank, just because of it's beat and the whole action thing that I picture happening with it. Also, pay attention to the lyrics and then what Bella is doing in the fic. And I mean all the lyrics, read them, all right? Then read the fic, then check the lyrics again, and you'll see what I mean. :)

* * *

_

'**Born To Lead' by Hoobastank**

_With eyes closed tightly,  
I march so blindly  
Pretending everything's fine,  
'Cause you're there to keep me in line  
I don't want your guidance;  
I'll break my silence  
So sick of asking and being denied and now I realize.  
We're holding the key, to unlock our destiny,  
we were born to lead  
we're finally free, no longer following,  
we were born to lead... we were born to lead  
You can't ignore me (you can't ignore me)  
you can't think for me (you can't think for me)  
your world will come crashing down to the ground,  
'Cause I figured you out  
We're holding the key, to unlock our destiny,  
we were born to lead  
We're finally free, no longer following,  
we were born to lead... we were born to lead  
I use to think I'm all alone,  
But now I see our numbers grow.  
I'm not afraid to break away,  
Think on my own  
with eyes wide open,  
my new life begins  
Without you there to tell me, when, where and how,  
and you can't stop me now!  
We're holding the key, to unlock our destiny,  
we were born to lead  
we're finally free, no longer following,  
We were born to lead... we were born to lead  
We're holding the key, to unlock our destiny,  
we were born to lead  
we're finally free, no longer following,  
we were born to lead

* * *

_

_**Curse **_

**Change**

Her teeth, gleaming white daggers of steel, plunged into my throat and all I could do was feebly try to shove her head away. But as she kept draining, I grew weaker and weaker.

My arms fell limp to the ground, head falling back, my neck no longer able to support the weight of holding my head up. Something cool slipped around my neck, Victoria's hands on my shoulders, and I felt a dangling thing on my collarbone, just barely but with substantial weight.

It pressed into my chest, heavy and cold and hard. The thing around my throat was tight enough to feel like it would be choking me if it got any tighter. Like a collar, a collar that began cycling through intensely fiery and freezing flashes around my neck.

Darkness began clouding my vision, no pain as of yet. I thought the pain would have started right away, but I felt nothing. Nothing but my life draining out through the wound in my throat.

The one thing I held fast in my mind was Edward. The vision of him in all his perfection, my last sight on Earth. _Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward Edward Edward Edward Edward-_

I was sobbing, whispering his name, and then… it was gone. She was gone; I no longer felt her teeth in my neck. My life was no longer draining away by the second, and I was collapsed, moaning, on the ground.

Growls and snarls, terrifying and sharp, pierced the air around me but I lay there, gasping and beginning to shiver. Uncontrollable tremors shook my body, and I let out a quiet, soft groan as a tingling took over.

The tingling sensation, like liquid flowing through me, spread all over but centered on my chest. Where the heavy weight was. I let out a whimper as the tingling turned into pinpricks, jabbing at my body from everywhere.

And all at once, the pain rushed in.

Intense and everywhere, hot and cold, and I screamed; my lungs drew a sharp gasp of air and I let it out in a high, unearthly wail that even I, in my drugged state, winced at. But I couldn't be bothered to pay attention to that; the pain was too much.

It was everywhere. It was all consuming, massive, destructive, degenerative power coursing through me in a rush and tearing apart my cells as a huge wave. Nothing could compare to this, that awful, gut-wrenching pain. Back arching and hands clawing at my throat, I sobbed and moaned and thrashed in the agony.

My sharp cry rent the air and I heard an answering howl as the crunching noises continued. The pain was so much, complete and utter turmoil under my skin, that I couldn't watch any of the movements around me – my eyes were flashing between sight and utter darkness.

Nothing reached my eyes even as I gasped and shuddered on the ground in agony, eyes wide in the intensity. Rain fell around my face, but I didn't feel it. All the movements around me were blurs and shifting shapes.

But I retained enough sense to know that the red splotch of color that dove and grabbed me was Victoria. She had me in her arms like a rage doll, my head hanging limply over the side of her arm, muscles twitching.

I tried to fight; I tried so hard to make my limbs cooperate and move with me. But it was to no avail – in mere moments, the trees were blurs around me and the growls were trailing behind, too far away to be of any use.

The pain consumed my limbs, radiating out in agonizing waves from the gash in my throat. My left arm, trapped between this huntress and I, was not able to move – but my other arm, dangling in the socket, twitched and burned just like my legs.

Jaw clenched, I tried not to scream – for some reason, I was holding in the panicked cries that would have drawn him…

They would draw him if her heard my shrieks…

With the last remaining ounce of strength I had collected, I took a long, deep draw of breath, attempting to block the pain that gathered in my lungs as I attempted to control my panting. Summoning my air as well as I could, I let out the loudest scream I had.

Victoria didn't even attempt to stop me, until a few moments in – it was like she hadn't heard it until two seconds later than I started.

When her icy hand clamped down on my mouth, tightening its hold around my jaw, I was stopped. But some type of clearness came to my senses for a few brief moments, during which I heard it – a loud, terrifying roar that sounded so familiar.

I could have cried then as I heard several more snarls of absolute fury join in, a horrific melody that gained on us by the second. Seven, total, and the baying of wolves as they circled around us.

Circled around us: the Quileute pack had not been defeated yet if they were helping to pin us in. I knew that by now, Victoria would have to run across the border to escape the werewolves – and smack into the line of furious vampires waiting on the other side.

But she didn't do what I thought, in my pain-permeated brain; instead, she suddenly dove off to the side and through some other forest area. We neared one barking sound – and passed it.

Still inside the reservation. They couldn't get me in the reservation – Edward wasn't allowed in La Push…

Her hand was firmly clamped over my mouth, and I struggled in vain against it even in the shooting stabs of pain that threatened to make me loose my mind if it kept up like it was. My eyes were squeezed tightly closed by now, scrunching up in misery.

Through my half consciousness, I heard far away snarling and another roar – likely they had discovered we had evaded their trap. That loudest snarl was so familiar and closer than it should sound, but I couldn't focus on anything in particular.

The cold hand pulled away for a moment – and stayed away. I realized that, with my jaw tightly clenched, Victoria must think that I was unable to make a sound now in the pain that was spreading out through my body.

Using that brief two-second mark, I took a short gasp and let loose another cry, mangled with a single word before her hand was clenching my jaw together again.

"_EDWA-AAAA-ARD!_

The tearing sound that came as I said his name, making the 'a' a half-scream, was absolutely certain to have caught their attention. They knew where she was with me now – please, let them hurry and get here before this pain is too unbearable.

Yet another answering snarl, terrifying and furious, echoed out through the trees as we sped away – the wolf baying followed us – and then the growls began coming. Not the wolves – but they were _inside_ the reservation. My pain-torn brain tried to make sense of it.

It was, of course, unbearable now – but I knew instinctively that it would be getting worse before the end. They would get Victoria before then, though – after all, they had just heard me and knew where we were.

Air whistled by at a faster rate; I assumed that it was as she ran harder to try and escape. But then a loud splash and icy cold water enclosed around me, blending into the temperature of Victoria's skin.

My lungs hacked up water and, with eyes peeping open; I saw land swiftly fading from view. She was swimming out to sea with me, I realized in a daze. I didn't know if she'd get away or not, but the agony of both a decrease in hope and the physical pain was too much for me to take.

I began sinking into the pain, and it rushed over me as my defenses came crashing down and sinking to the bottomless black depths of the sea she dragged me through.

LINE BREAK

Pain was everywhere, all-consuming, fire and daggers and knives. It surrounded me, taunting and playing with before my eventual end and transference out of this hell.

I wasn't even drifting out of consciousness to block the intense agony this experience was causing me – the venom wouldn't let me rest. And the heavy weight on my chest dug deeper by every passing moment. It was a boulder, pinning me to the ground.

I didn't know what it was; I only know my hands clawed at it, tugged sharply at the chain and tried to bat away the heavy, cold, and warm thing that hung like a dead weight over my head.

My whimpering turned to screaming, crying, and mewling in the ache and fervor of this change.

I never knew that such raw torture was why Edward did not want to change me. To think that I told him it was nothing – of course he didn't believe me! Of course he was hesitant to outright tenacious about making me go through this.

He knew what I had had in store for my body – the anguish of the daggers splitting my skin apart, the fire that burned through me to be replaced with an icy chill that threatened to make me freeze – he knew that this was what I would go through.

I finally understood why he didn't want this to happen to me – even thought it was too late to stop the change from occurring.

Fiery heat and icy cold took turns torturing my nerves, making me thrash about. I detected some type of bench underneath me, hard and stiffening my back. As the time dragged on, slower than the slowest moving snail as I sweated and froze simultaneously in ridiculous heat flashes, the atmosphere changed.

The water had been surrounding me for a long time, but once I was on this hard thing, possibly one day or one thousand years later, I knew we had to be inside. When my eyes slit open for brief periods of time, I saw walls around me and the redhead bobbing on a couch across the room.

The flashes of extreme temperature continued on, so much time passing by, and it only gradually began to ebb away as my heart, which had been pumping furiously, began to fail and skip beats and thumps.

Heart pounding began to fade and slow into an extremely slow, unsteady beat. My skin, struggling between heat and cold, was going between the two furiously like a catfight.

My heart hit one, two…three……four………five……………

And stopped.

The pain flared up again, halfway in the middle of a heat flash. A slow, sharp, squeezing sensation spread over my skin – like I was a new pet that was being squashed in the arms of a child – and causing shooting pains as it went.

Ebbing with a type of precision, the heat poured off of me in waves and cooled into a neutral temperature that was a lot like that which I had as human. I felt, as if through extra-sharp senses, my hair growth freezing completely and a tingle spreading from my scalp as it happened.

Sensations went through everything – my nails stopped growing with a sharp tugging sensation, my features sharpened themselves with small jabs of pain in the bones, my skin hardened into a network of interlocking plates with a painful tingle.

As the fire and the ice flowed away, draining, I stopped bucking and twitching: my very cells stiffened with a sharp, torturously slow, effect spreading all around my body. The epicenter of each hardening feature of me was the bite on my throat, which was now miraculously healing, closing together.

My insides stopped functioning and a strange sensation crept into the pit of my stomach and nestled there. My ears twinged sharply and the base of my spine felt like someone was stabbing it and I shook all over for a moment, a prickling feeling spreading across my skin before fading.

Like someone had flipped a switch, the agony and pain simply disappeared. There was no warning, nothing to tell me that it was over other than the absence of the pain. And as soon as it was gone, I stopped breathing.

LINE BREAK

There was so much silence, complete and utter noiselessness and yet – something was different. It was like I could hear everything magnified, but there was nothing to hear.

I wondered where I was – had Edward found me yet? Was I safe from Victoria? My eyes snapped open in my desperate attempt to find him, to see him and hear his voice, to let him convince me that everything was and would always be all right.

No such luck. Only Victoria was in the room with me, but she seemed not to be noticing that I was now awake. Her lips moved soundlessly, gaze blank as she stared into space, but I didn't have the mind to pay attention to her right now.

I had just gone through the change and became a vampire – surely she knew that I could fight her now? Young and strong, I stood a small chance against her despite her having some experience in the field of fighting.

It also didn't make any sense to me why she had changed me instead of killing me outright. With my newfound powers of vampiric quality, I would be able to escape her and get home to the Cullens.

Victoria wasn't stupid, and a stupid vampire would have changed me and expected me not to fight back after I was an equal. So what was Victoria planning to do to me, now that I would be able to live with Edward for eternity?

I shifted on the couch, and shocked myself when I over shot my position and landed on the floor. Blinking in a daze of amazement – I had only wanted to sit up, not shoot off the couch – I moved slowly to sit where I had just been lying.

Still, I shoved back hard into the couch and made a small indent in the frame – but how had I known that? Surprised, I tried to figure out how I had known that I had made a sizeable dent in the furniture without even glancing at it.

Marking it off as a vampire thing, I looked back to Victoria, only to see – nothing.

She wasn't there.

I heard a chuckle from the corner of the room and my head whipped around, eyes landing on the red haired vampiress standing by a mirror. She was looking me up and down wickedly, containing some obvious amusement.

My lips curled back in a snarl involuntarily; she simply laughed, "Stand up, Cullen pet."

Worry crawled into my mind as I did it without telling myself to, and I began to feel far more fearful when I couldn't make myself sit back down. I tried as hard as I could to make myself go back to the couch, but I wasn't in control of myself.

Victoria laughed an evil laugh. "So the amulet does work…" she fingered something at her throat, but her hand blocked my view of it. "Come here, little…what did they call you? Ah, Bella. Isabella Swan. Walk to me, Isabella."

Horror swamped me as my legs carried me forward to her, and I was once again unable to control myself. But curiosity also allowed me to wonder what amulet Victoria was talking to herself about, and why it worked. The fact that she knew my name was harder – she knew Charlie, then. He was in danger.

My body stopped in front of her; although I had no control over my legs, my face was still mine. I snarled at her, "What are you doing to me?" as my first instincts were to lash out or mew pitifully for her to stop. I chose to lash out – unfortunately, my arms could not reach her to claw at her face and arms.

She tutted. "Now, now, pet Swan. Surely you noticed?" I batted at my hair with one paw, as a strand of hair fell into my face. A swish of the tail as I expressed my aggravation at her by hissing, and I opened my mouth to speak…

Only to snap it shut and freeze completely.

Tail?

Paws?

Hissing, I could understand. Vampires could growl, snarl, show their teeth in gruesome ways, so who says they cannot snarl or even purr? In fact, I had a suspicion that Edward had been purring once before I fell asleep.

But paws? _Tail_?

If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that vampires – and humans – do not have either paws or tails. The weight on my chest sent a pleasurable thrill through me, making me loose concentration for a moment. But I was back on track when I realized that I was feeling something from my spinal cords.

Victoria laughed, interpreting the look on my face. "Look in the mirror, pet Swan," she gestured to it, and backed away a tad so I could see myself fully with the light from the window.

What I saw made me want to scream in horror – but Victoria chuckled before I could. "Now, don't make any noise at all, Swan, and I won't hurt you any more than you are."

How she could hurt me more was beyond me, but I was only able to gape in shock at what I saw in the mirror. And only one thought in all the chaos of my brain could filter through.

_What am I?

* * *

_

_A/N – Well, I hope you like this so far. I know that the whole tail/paw thing is a bit strange, but you'll be getting Bella's new physical appearance in the next chapter. I just had to leave it off like this, of course, because that's me – I had to cut it off somewhere, too, and this just seemed like a good place to do that._

_Oh, and as you can probably tell, Bella isn't exactly a vampire. What vampires do YOU know of who have tails and paws (and fangs and cat ears, too? Oops, spoiler…but you'll read it in the next chapter anyway, so no biggie.)? That's why Bella's transformation is different – more detail on this to come in the next chapters! _

_Questions to be answered in the story (maybe not the next chapter, but eventually): _

_Why is Bella's change different in the story? What is the amulet? Why did it affect Bella's change? When will we get some good ol' Bella and Edward smut? (that I won't be writing in it's entirety, and will tell you to read 'Breakinjg Boundaries' by **sillybella** for all that good stuff)…;) (I love you, **sillybella**!)_


	4. Transformations

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N –** This took a while to type (most of my first week of Winter Break) and I hope you like it as much as the last chapter I put up! _

_**Song To Listen To**: 'Over My Head (Cable Car)' by The Fray. It's just – perfect for this chapter, the way I interpret it. :) I guess you could say it's a bit of the classic Edward angst as he misses his Bella, but to me it also shows that Bella is in 'over her head' with the situation. Plus, it's a nice slow song, which conveys the sense of sadness.

* * *

_

**_'Over My Head (Cable Car)' by The Fray_**

_I never knew  
I never knew that everything was falling through  
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue  
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth  
But that's how it's got to be  
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy  
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see  
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears  
Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind  
Let's rearrange  
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage  
Just say that we agree and then never change  
Soften a bit until we all just get along  
But that's disregard  
Find another friend and you discard  
As you lose the argument in a cable car  
Hanging above as the canyon comes between  
Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind  
Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind  
And suddenly I become a part of your past  
I'm becoming the part that don't last  
I'm losing you and its effortless  
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground  
In the throw around  
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down  
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves  
And everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind  
Everyone knows  
She's on your mind  
Everyone knows I'm in over my head  
I'm in over my head  
I'm in over...  
Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind

* * *

_

_**Curse **_

**Transformations**

I was positive that if I were a vampire, I would not look like I did now.

The tail that I had sensed, somehow, was there – bushy and sleek, dark brown fur with reddish highlights covered the twitching appendage as it made a swish back and forth. Long and definitely muscled underneath the overcoat of fuzz, it swirled on my slightest whim or thought in accordance.

Holding up my hands, I swallowed hard when I saw dark, silvery nails – sharp and dangerous-looking – adorning my thin, delicate fingers. Luckily my hands did not have fur on them like the tail, but the nails did little to make me feel better.

Flexing my fingers, I swallowed hard as they lengthened into mini silver knives, attached to my very hands. Looking in the mirror around my face, I saw that my ears had migrated up – now they poked through my hair, pointed – and the shade of the fur covering them was exactly that of my hair color itself.

The eyes shocked me for a moment – I had known that, because of the human blood left in my body, I would have red eyes after I was first changed. But my pupils…I had cat's eyes, long vertical black pupils in burgundy irises.

My outfit of leggings and a sweater were torn, shredded and hanging obscenely on my body, exposing far too much and covering much too little – the only fully clothing I had on was my underwear and bra – the rest of me was exposed through holes in the material.

I was thin – supermodel thin – except I actually had muscles and some meat to my bones instead of being a wasted stick like models are. But I was slim, like a vampire would be – with muscles and everything else.

Muscular, slim arms and thighs were something I had never had before; my legs looked very long and strong. Abdominal muscles made my stomach tight and I could literally feel the muscles in my back as I moved even the slightest bit.

My face was the same, but different in the slightest ways. Cheekbones were a bit higher, jaw a little thinner, but I still looked like me – only pretty. The major difference I saw was that my hair was completely straight and – actually gained length. It was to my hips, flat as a sheet and a glimmering dark brown-auburn mix.

I looked like a gorgeous stripper…with cat ears, claws, and a tail.

Victoria laughed again at my horror. "Oh, pet Swan…do you see now how different you are from everyone?"

Barely whispering, I stared at myself in the mirror. "What am I?" The only question that could run through my head right then was that. "What did you do to me?" My voice sounded broken, scared.

Because that's what I was: terrified of what I was, of Victoria, of being unable to control myself…it was all so much. Too much: where was Edward when I needed him the most? A horrifying thought crept through me. "What did you do to my family?"

She sneered. "Well, that man who you call 'Charlie', I was unable to get to. He was with that leader of the furball pack that thought they could capture me, and the father of that one who's best at the job." She snorted. "Even though he's pathetic at it, he's the _best_ of them. Ha! And that girl, with the scars that she got from that monster, went with them – freeing me to make my move to get to you. The furball 'pack' is still there on their little _reservation_."

Relief coursed through me that they were all right was short-lived. Facing her again, I hissed, "What about the rest of my family?" Laughter was my only answer, and I felt anger swelling up in me. "Tell me what you did to my family…NOW!" I shrieked.

Crouching down, my muscles coiled – like a cat's – and I leapt at her, claws extending instinctively without my even concentrating on them. Rage and fury twisted my face, and my limbs felt lighter as I shot through the air like a panther pouncing on prey.

"Stop," she said lazily just before I reached her. To my horror, I dragged my heels down and froze in a standstill before her, straight-backed again and frozen in place. Fighting as much as I could did nothing to help – I was stuck.

She looked me over, eyes judging before she grinned lazily. "Well, now, here's a surprise." Laughing evilly before her next command gave me time to wonder what she was so happy about. "Swan, look at yourself in the mirror."

My body turned automatically, and I choked on nothing, on air, as I saw myself again. Fur had blossomed all over my skin, making me take on the appearance of a human-shaped cat. The claws were out, my tail seemed longer, and if it was possible, I could swear I had shrunken a little – my back hunched over slightly as well.

Victoria smirked. "Well, this is interesting. Swan, go through the rest of the transformation."

Again, my body obeyed the command – and I became a large cat.

It was a surprisingly easy transition: no sensations at all were painful, yet I saw my bones shift, my frame shrink, and the fur ripple before settling. My ending shape as a cat was large – a black panther, or a dark mountain lion – I wanted to laugh at the irony.

Ironic that I was now a cat, like the ones Edward drank from – maybe that was her plan. But I could change back, I could fight him enough for his realization that I wasn't a jungle cat, but me, his Bella, I thought desperately. There must be a way out of this if that is her plan.

But I couldn't tell her that, as I was unable to speak while…as what I was. Looking down at my paws, I tried to make them move forward, to leap at her once again.

I didn't move an inch in any direction: so whatever power she had over me, I was unable to move unless she commanded it. This was going to be an awful thing to try and get away from, if I couldn't move without her command. Maybe twisting her orders would help, if she gave me one I could find a loophole for.

She laughed at my fruitless attempts of struggling, letting our mews and cries as I failed. "Pet, you won't be able to do anything as you are, whether transformed or not. Change back now, I have no use for you like this," she waved her hand haughtily, "right now."

As my voice came back with my shift into the more humanoid form of whatever I had become, I hissed, "Even if you control me now, he'll know that I'm different like that. He'll know I'm not the same as others."

My assumptions were wrong. "Oh, dear pet Swan, I have no need for him to hunt you down like that. Your cat form is only to be used when you must escape from the Cullens, never any other time. You aren't to leave this place, either, unless I directly command you to."

A tingle crept over me – to my horror, I realized that I had to obey the command she had just given me. I would be unable to escape, to run from here back to Edward. "No!" I cried out; I had to go back! I couldn't leave him – he might not know I was gone at all!

"Yes…" she chuckled. "But calm yourself, Swan. I have to explain this to you so you won't…attempt anything." She walked slowly to a seat on the couch, sitting in a languid manner. Motioning with her hand towards me, I found myself walking to sit across from her on a chair.

"Well," she began, leaning forward to touch something on my throat – with a start I realized that the heavy weight was still there. It pulled at my throat, trying to make me bend down. "This little trinket is what my connection is. You may never take it off," she snapped suddenly, just realizing that she needed to.

The hope that had risen inside of me died in an instant; the connection could not be broken if I could not remove it. Victoria touched a chain around her own throat and covered the charm so I could not see it. "These matching pendants allow me control over your body should I so wish it. Don't ask how it works."

Standing, she looked around disinterestedly, before giving me an evil look and smirking. "Well, stay in this room, Swan. You cannot communicate with the outside in any way, you cannot leave, and you are not to speak with anyone or anything or write any notes. The window stays closed, and you stay silent."

I could find no loophole: she knew it, and left the room, locking it behind her with a distinct air of self-satisfaction. Leaving me alone was something that she meant as a confirmation of how I was the same in every other way now – I would never see Edward or my family again. Not if she could stop it.

Curling on my side, facing into the couch, I let myself be overcome with radiating waves of absolute pain in the loss of everything. Nothing could help me now; no one knew where I was. The only chance I might possibly have was if Jasper felt me, but he might not know it was I.

As time passed, hours or days, I snapped out of it. This wasn't helping in any way at all; this was being a useless wreck of a person. Not even a person anymore, but a being – possibly immortal, probably not vampire but not necessarily anything else. A one-of-a-kind freak: that was me.

Slowly, I pushed myself up and made my way over to the mirror again. There was a time for thinking and planning, but right now I needed information. The first thing I needed was to know my capabilities, and the second was to see if I could break the rules Victoria had set on me.

Looking over myself, I saw that I was definitely thin and beautiful, like a vampire. Frowning, I took in the clothes I was wearing – this wouldn't do. I needed an outfit if I was going to make my escape. Beginning a hunt for something to wear, I scoured the room until I found the closet.

It was a two-bedroom suite, leading me to believe that we were in a hotel. I had awoken in a bedroom, with a couch and a chair in the corner with deep blue upholstery and silver metal legs. The mirror I had seen myself in was next to the small setup, across from a bed with steel gray sheets and a dark blue down cover.

Carpeting in an industrial blue led out through the room and into the small living area through a doorway. The walls were all pure white, and the couches in the living room matched the ones in the bedroom. Another doorway led into a bathroom – I caught a glimpse of stainless steel and marble, the main themes of the bathroom.

It all looked intensely bright and shiny to my eyes: so this is how vampires must see, I thought to myself. I wondered what I looked like to Edward before realizing that this probably wasn't the best thing to think of, due to the pain that flashed through me again like the wound had reopened.

The wardrobe was across from the bed, in a silver tone that matched everything else here. Pulling open the doors, I found an outfit inside, neatly folded. A note lay on top of it, white paper with a few words written on it.

Swan – 

_You would need new clothes, since what you have on now is quite disgusting. You'll notice that when you transform, your outfit changes with you; this one will allow you agility in both forms you posses. Since I'll need you for something, you might as well don this now before I get back or I'll command you to anyway. _

_Practice your skills, get comfortable if you dare, but in the end I'll be the one controlling your every move. Remember that you are not allowed to leave, and you are not to betray our position in any way, not by verbal sounds, written notes or any other type of communication. You'll also find that your little Cullen friend, the black-haired female, cannot 'see' our position. And your necklace is not to be harmed even indirectly._

She had covered everything that she thought I needed to know, but I wasn't satisfied, of course. How did she know that Alice would not know where we were? Then again, I realized, she would have seen Victoria coming, and she would have come to me already to save me. Victoria told the truth.

The commands were clear, blocking any loophole that I could see right now. I would not be able to escape this room, but I had to try after I had clothing on. Stripping the leggings and sweater rags off, I picked up the new outfit she had given me doubtfully – and found that if I could, I would blush considerably if this were another situation.

The top was black and slinky – obviously meant for freedom of movement. Black stretchy pants that would undoubtedly cling to my legs were folded underneath that, and a long black sweatshirt that would reach down to my knees was underneath that.

At least I have something long to go over it all, I though unhappily. This outfit was demeaning in every sense of the word – I never wore anything like this, and of course she would want me to fight in it. Likely with the pack, or the Cullens.

Even so, I didn't understand why I had to wear this outfit – surely anything I wore would hinder me in no way, if I were so catlike now. The question bothered me as I pulled it on, being careful not to tear it in any way.

It fit extremely snugly to my body, and I hated it instantly. When I went back to stand in front of the mirror before pulling the sweatshirt on, I grimaced when I saw how tightly the fabric clung to me as I moved. Throwing it on, I sat back down – slowly – and began to think.

Obviously, it seemed to be getting easier to move about. I hadn't overshot anything else, and I was walking normal pace – I thought. I might be moving faster but not noticing; that would have to wait until I could compare myself to a human.

This, in itself, was confusing to wait out. I had no idea what Victoria would want with me when she came back, nor how her commands were able to make me do what she wanted – I did note, however, that my thoughts were mind.

So all she could control was my physical self. That was a good thing, I guess; my mind was still untouchable, I presumed. But this still went back to how she was able to do that – on a surge of impulse, I rocketed to my feet and lithely sprung to the mirror.

The heavy weight around my throat took the form of a choker, the chain tight and gold like a collar for – what else – a cat. From the flat, thin band a charm hung like a pet tag – so I was a domesticated whatever-I-was, now, was I? Scoffing at the idea as I unconsciously pawed at the collar, I stopped short in movement.

The tag was no tag, but a circular charm – engraved with a cat's head in a sideways profile view; the tiny stone was so small I nearly missed it. But, there it was – the cat engraving had embedded on it a jewel of sorts. The eyes of the cat were a burgundy that stood out on the gold like blood droplets.

So is this me, then, I wondered to myself in shock as I ran my finger over it – the metal stayed smooth instead of smudging, and my sensitive fingers barely felt the stone that I knew was there. On impulse, I concentrated on shifting myself into a cat again, as well as I could remember how to.

Fascination nearly made me stop as I saw myself in the mirror again – without Victoria here forcing me to do this; it was interesting to see it happen to myself. Once I was done, I looked back at the charm. It hadn't changed with me.

So this collar was simply a tag, marking me as her 'pet'. Judging from the red jewel, I guessed that she would make me feed off of humans like her – the red eyes of a 'carnivorous' vampire, to coin the opposite of a 'vegetarian' one. Like my family.

Changing back was entirely easy and simple for a shift as well. If this had been anticipated by me, I would have thought that shifting like this would cause me pain – but then again, Jacob never said his shifts into wolf were painful, did he?

One thing I could be certain about was that she would eventually be using me to get to my family – why else? She said a 'mate for a mate' and she meant it – the only thing was that I didn't see what way she would use me.

The thought that she would send me out to be eaten by Edward was ridiculous – that plan could go wrong very quickly for numerous reasons. Anything could happen when vampires went out to hunt. Besides which, they would notice right away that I was not a normal creature to roam the woods for Forks – right?

But what if they weren't in Forks anymore? Where was I: where had Victoria taken us? I could not be certain that we were still in Forks now – the modern look of the room was certainly not like any places near muggy Washington.

She had jumped off of that cliff with me in her grasp and swum out. There was no hint here as to where she swam to with me. For all I knew, we were on the other side of the world – the thought made me sick to my stomach, if we were that far from Edward – but my logic sought me out.

She would want to gloat over this with my family nearby but unable to find me. This medallion had something to do with it, I thought as I fingered the piece of gold again. If I was being utterly ridiculous, this collar had changed my transformation to make me like I was now. Magical? Who knew?

I certainly didn't know and could not dismiss the possibility; didn't I think vampires and werewolves to be myths, fantasy creatures from horror movies before my move to Forks? I had no right to stand here and say it was impossible that the metal plate dangling on my collarbone had nothing to do with my catlike self.

Did me being like this help her gain something else? Obviously she chose me for revenge purposes; did she know that she would be in control of my body before she tried this…whatever she did…to me? Obviously, because she had plans laid out for me. I just didn't know what they were yet.

Of course, that meant that using me like this would hurt Edward, as she had said 'mate for a mate', so either I was going to be painfully hurt like this – which meant she could know keeping the two of us separated was an awful fate – or she was going to make me hurt Edward. Of course, the two were one and the same to me.

If I was forced to hurt Edward, it just might kill me. And if we were kept separate through whatever means she was going to use, then that would likely kill me too. The possibilities didn't seem to go past those two.

All this also led to how she obtained this amulet that dangled from my throat, an ever-resent reminder of some curse that had fallen upon me. How had she learned about this, how had she found out about something that she would be able to use to destroy my spirit and crush my hope?

All the questions pooled in my mind – was the amulet what let her control my body? Was it just my unusualness that allowed me to control my own thoughts and feelings – and I sorted through the things running in my head with slight difficulty.

In the end, I had to stop; obsessing about what I had no idea about would not help me in any way. I had to try and discover a way to escape, not worry about something I had no control over at the moment.

I had to begin my scouting of the room and try to find a loophole out of this horrid fate I was finding myself in.

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_A/N – This took a while to get right – multiple tries and deletions, and I'm still not entirely certain I have it right! Oh, well, I suppose I will simple have to deal with the fact of the matter. :) I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter! Thank you so much for your reviews and support._

_Wow, today is a busy day for me! I updated 'Desecration Smile' (SBHG HP fanfic) and 'Karaoke Countdown' (another SBHGHP fanfic of mine)! I do believe I am on a roll today!_

_Look for an update on 'Sunrise' very soon – I am halfway through the next chapter, and with any luck (Lord willing) it will be up tonight or tomorrow, but at the very least I am praying I can have it up by Wednesday! _


	5. Thoughts

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N** – Everyone's reviews are making me feel all warm and cuddly inside! Thank you all! _

_**Song To Listen To:** 'What I Wouldn't Give' by Holly Brook. The connection is that Bella just wants to go back to how things used to be, how everything was before Victoria got to her. She desperately wants to be with Edward – which fuels the angsty part of the song – and is terrified about what she now is. Hopefully, you see where I'm coming from with using this song. :)

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_

_**'What I Wouldn't Give' by Holly Brook** _

_Feeling like I can't forgive, b__ut I want to_

_It's like I don't know how to live, __I'm afraid to_

_I used to think take them as they come, w__ithout hesitation, oh_

_Now it's like my head is filled with lies, a__nd persuasions_

_As the sun begins to fall, __I hear her calling out to me_

_She's saying hurry, i__t's one more day gone_

_What I wouldn't give just to forget_

_So I can remember how to live again_

_I want to live again_

_I'm feeling dissonant, a__nd distracted_

_Toxic chemicals are spilling in my head_

_And they're bleeding deadly reactions, whoa_

_As the moon begins to rise, i__t shows me all the colors_

_That I'm hiding, I'm hiding myself_

_What I wouldn't give just to forget_

_What I wouldn't give to get some rest_

_So I can remember how to live again_

_I want to live again, oh_

_Live again_

_Am I desperately loosing this fight, oh_

_When I should really be choosing my flight_

_And I-I, take me_

_Take me_

_Take me now_

_What I wouldn't give just to forget_

_What I wouldn't give to get some rest_

_So I can remember how to live again_

_I want to live again_

_What I wouldn't give just to forget_

_What I wouldn't give to get some rest_

_What I wouldn't give just to forget_

_So I can remember how to live

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_

**_Curse _**

**Thoughts**

It only took one prowl around the room for me to see that I was not going to be escaping from here. As much as I tried to, my body wouldn't go to the door and open it, and the closest I could get to the window was one foot. I was undeniably trapped.

My first instinct was to curl up again and let the misery have me, much like Edward – the thought of him cause me to gasp for unneeded breath – had said he did while away from me during those agonizingly long months.

A fate worse than death was all this was; trapped and unable to reach my love, afraid and completely uncertain about anything, and now having the thought of never being able to see him again without being commanded to kill him hanging over my head.

The mere thought that the next time I saw him I would be forced to kill him made me instinctively dive for the phone in the corner. A wave of hope rose in me, as I was able to grasp it – and fell once I realized that it was unconnected from the wall. And my fingers couldn't grasp the phone cord to plug it back in.

After that, the time seemed to stretch on indefinitely; never-ending and always hanging over me like clouds in Forks. The commands given to me by Victoria made me utterly useless – I couldn't warn my family, tell them where I was, that I needed help, that I was alone…it was nothingness that propelled me to stay, air that caught my arms whenever I threw myself at the window.

I tried tricking my own mind and body. "Just jump out the window," I whispered out loud. "It would hurt you, and Victoria didn't say I couldn't hurt myself. After all, isn't that what she wants to do?" I took a running leap and slammed into thin air, crumpling to the ground.

Another attempt yielded the same results. With a roar of frustration tearing from my throat, I collapsed back on the sofa, worn and weary. It was no use; I was not going to get out, and I had to warn my family anyway.

Since my body was unable to go anywhere, I resorted to my mind taking me out of where I was. Imagination was a good thing; a pastime that didn't make me do anything physically that was against Victoria's rules.

In my head, I was free to run out of this hotel, to Forks – wherever it was now, since I didn't know where we were – and into Edward's arms, always as a vampire without these catlike physical disabilities.

That was what they were, of course; I was completely abnormal, and as such disabled from acting like a normal vampire. Already I was finding myself liking my hand like it was a paw at strange moments, before realizing that I was in cat form due to a sudden spike of anger against Victoria.

Several times my tail startled me when I realized what it was, and then I dismissed it because it was of no importance. Who cared if I had a tale? It was a sign to me that the strangeness I exhibited was starting to seem normal to me, for it wouldn't bother me at a few strategic times.

I noticed that when a rush of warm pleasure surged from the spot where the amulet around my throat dangled, then I would get a flash of anger and transform, or I would find myself dazedly standing there, having forgotten my train of thought for a few moments.

Obviously, the necklace was sedating me in some way, keeping me calm and in control to the owners' whims – the owner of the second, matching one. It was clear to me that Victoria was sending the signals when she sensed that I was being disturbed and wanting to leave.

It was instinct that told me she could tell, for I would sense something near to my mind that couldn't quite get in but heard and felt everything I projected. The only projections were my emotions, which were plenty enough to go by for her. Especially since I was an emotional person and found myself worked up at the smallest things.

The trait of being overly emotional was intensified now as I found my moods fluctuating badly, almost like I was a pregnant woman with mood swings. It was horrid, and a part of me was very glad that I would never have to go through pregnancy – not that I ever thought I would.

Even when Edward was insisting I stay human in order to live my life to the fullest, I knew that even if he hadn't come along, I had never really wanted children. It was just another thing that was wrong with my mind – the 'feminine' want to have children, as my mother called it, was never there.

It could have been because of my age that I didn't want to become a mother, but I knew myself, and knew it was far deeper than that. Like I had known I wanted to be with Edward for eternity after only a short while knowing him, I knew that I would never have a child.

Maybe it was a sixth sense of my own, like Alice could see the future; only, for me it was that I knew myself. I knew already, before coming to Forks, that I was going to live life without children of my own – I couldn't remember when or how, but I did know it as surely as I knew that the sun rose in the mornings, not the evenings.

While I was still human, and in Phoenix, I had no friends – my mindset was different enough from theirs as to keep me from connecting to anyone, truly knowing anyone. Supernatural creatures had become my forte, as I had noticed once I discovered Jacob was a werewolf.

Maybe that was the problem with me; I had the wrong mindset for anything human. All I wanted was my love and nothing more or less – and children weren't on the plate for me. As I had said before, my brain was wired differently than others'; this was proof, as I was now.

It was as if my body were that of a puppet, but the wooden figure had a mind of it's own and nothing to connect the brain to the body. That was what it felt like when Victoria took over and commanded me around.

I tried to solve Victoria's plan for me many times over, but I never could. It was like her mind was twisted and turning, a place I cold not go, for it was all too much for me to handle.

Yet, it played in my head, over and over, the scene at the beach. What had I missed, I wondered to myself, that let her sneak up on me? Certainly she was much stronger and quieter, being a vampire – I already know that – but how had she gotten past the pack?

Her clothes had been soaking wet and she also dove back into the water with me – but did my family know where she had taken me, that allowed her to escape? Or was it that they thought I was somewhere around Forks still?

Whichever they thought, they had to know that I was fully changed by now. Would they perhaps think I was trying to get back to them but failing? Maybe they thought that I was pulling a sacrificial thing, like when I had run to James in Phoenix – that I had made another deal with Victoria, to keep them from being hurt.

That was a plausible thought, even I knew it. It wasn't true, not in the least, but they had to at least know that if I were doing something like that, I would be trying to contact them the best I could. They did know that, didn't they?

Or was Victoria telling me the truth? That Alice couldn't see me at all? If that was the case, then did they think I had died? The excruciating possibility of it didn't escape me – if they thought I was dead, then Edward was going to go running off to Volterra again.

Even though he had promised me countless times over that he never would, I knew him in my very soul. And what I knew of him was that he would not hold to that promise if he thought I was gone from this Earth.

At least the family would be keeping a close watch on him, I reminded myself, if that were the case, if that was what they thought. I steeled myself against that possibility that they thought I was dead with the knowledge that they were definitely keeping a close eye on him now.

But it all led back to the plan that Victoria had, and why she had attacked me on the beach. Why had she decided to risk getting herself captured to get to me? The fact that she could very well have died before stepping foot on dry land made her logic the exact opposite of it, impaired judgment.

Was it a suicide mission? Had she been prepared to die, like Edward had been in Volterra? She set out into the Quileute territory on a double mission, I assumed, since she had the amulet with her at the time. Victoria had come in to change me, make me like this, but her backup plan was to die?

It didn't make sense to me, not one bit. After all, Laurent had said she had revenge on the mind. "_If you knew what she had planned for you, you'd be thanking me._" That's what he said – so why would she prepare herself to die once she got close to her target, if she didn't succeed?

It was completely illogical. She had been on this mission to hurt Edward and I for nearly one year, and suddenly she would decide that if she couldn't succeed in this one attempt that she would die afterward? No; that wasn't her.

Come to think of it, the very few things I did know about her were fuelled by the same idea that she wasn't just going to give up after changing me. And her way of attacking me on the beach was very odd indeed. It simply wasn't making any sense.

If she wanted revenge – which I knew without a doubt that she did – then she would have waited until an opportune moment to get it. The way she had simply popped into Quileute territory spoke of an ill-formed plan, a spur of the moment action that went against all premeditation and thought.

My mind recalled the look on her face as she snarled and hissed at me, the moment I first saw her. I had looked for something that would let me escape, some clue that I could get away and find the pack or my family to help.

What I hadn't counted on was something that would pop up into my mind until rather later that I had thought it would. I recalled the flash of gold around her throat, the necklace that matched mine, which I hadn't paid all that much attention to. The golden chain and a brief glimpse of ruby eyes.

But when I saw her face, there had been one tiny thing off about it. The features were the same, the eyes were perfectly burgundy red, but something had been entirely off, completely different about her. Right there, on the edge of my consciousness, there was a hint, a small shadow-.

It was as that thought passed into my head that the door opened and the red-haired vampire walked in. The wisp that I couldn't quite grasp flew out of reach as I trembled slightly in anger. She took a long look at me a smiled in satisfaction, seeing that I had pulled the gigantic sweatshirt on over the stretchy clothes.

"You look much better than before, Swan girl." I felt like a gangster in these clothes; I did notice her eyes, though, as I glared her down – unsuccessfully. It could have been my imagination, but she seemed strangely giddy, ecstatic about something, her eyes a tad bit – lighter? Deeper? I couldn't place my finger on it.

She eyed me critically before smiling cruelly and pulling something from behind her back. I had barely any time to see whatever it was that she held before her hand twisted it open – and the most intoxicating scent I had ever smelled hit me, full-force.

It was like nothing in the room existed except for that vial in her hand, and I abruptly realized that my stomach had been twisting in hunger underneath the anxiety that I had been feeling about reaching Edward.

And then my mind faded away, and all I could see was that container in her hand filled with a bright red fluid.

* * *

_**A/N –** I know, I know, I'm so bad for not continuing this on. But I wanted to make a point in the next chapter about the blood and a few more things. This is a bit of a filler, I suppose, and the next has a lot of new-Bella self-discovery as she tries to cope with her new self._

_There's also the fact that the next part goes with the next song I want to use in this fic. :) So, anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I realty want you to review for me, telling me anything I mistyped at all. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, and whether you think this story is good or not._

_Please, can I request that no reviews like 'This it so good! I love it! Update soon!' are posted? I appreciate them, because it's always nice to know people like what you write, but I want feedback! Like, 'This is **blank **because you did **blank **and she was** blank**_ _.' Reasons, people, I want reasons why you like this so I can continue doing it in other fics I work on! If you tell me specifically why you like this, then I can keep it up and not lapse down or go head off into a different writing style!_


	6. Learning

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N –** I have to answer one reviewer here because they didn't leave me an e-mail to: I know some people may think this is going slow right now, but trust me, it will pick up later. I'm making Bella analyze and over-think because that's the way she is, I believe. Plus, she needs to think about her situation to try and figure out a solution. Don't worry though; there will be action soon!_

_**Song To Listen To:** 'Out of Control' by Hoobastank. To me, it speaks of all the confusion and pain that Bella is going through. She's saying that she wants to be free and is completely confused by all of these things that are happening to her so quickly. But read it for yourself and tell me what you think about what the lyrics mean in this chapter.

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_

_**'Out of Control' by Hoobastank** _

_I've done everything as you say_

_I've followed your rules without question_

_I thought it would help me see things clearly_

_But instead of helping me to see, it's like I'm blinded_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_Where should I go_

_What should I do_

_I don't understand what you want from me_

_'Cause I don't know_

_If I can trust you_

_I don't understand what you want from me_

_I feel like I'm spinning out of control_

_Try to focus but everything's twisted_

_And all along I thought you would be there_

_So let me know I'm not alone_

_But in fact that's exactly what I was_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_Where should I go_

_What should I do_

_I don't understand what you want from me_

_Cause I don't know _

_If I can trust you_

_Or all of those things you said to me_

_And I may never know_

_The answer to this endless mystery_

_Where should I go_

_What should I do_

_I don't understand what you want from me_

_This endless mystery_

_This endless mystery_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Where should I go_

_What should I do_

_I don't understand what you want from me_

_Cause I don't know_

_If I can trust you_

_Or all of those things you've said to me_

_And I may never know _

_The answer to this endless mystery_

_Where should I go_

_What should I do_

_I don't understand what you want from me_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control_

_I'm spinning out of control_

_Out of control

* * *

_

**_Curse_**

**Learning**

I couldn't control myself, but it was entirely different that Victoria's hold on me – this was unadulterated bloodlust in action, pure instinct driving me to leap forward, intent on reaching that container and the sustenance it provided.

My clawed hands, nails stretched out in anticipation of a hunt that was nonexistent, scratched her hands in my desperation to snatch the blood away. I tried vainly to stop myself from drinking it, thinking that it must be human blood that was pulling me forward – but it was no use.

I hadn't fed at all, and was a newborn vampire-cat creature. The need to feed was entirely too strong for me to overcome, and I downed the water bottle in three large gulps, not even stopping to breathe.

Once it became all to clear what was happening, I drew away from her in shock, dropping the container to the ground in horror. What had I done? It suddenly became clear to me what one half of what I saw in Victoria's eyes was – the euphoria after just feeding. Off of humans for her, and now, apparently, for me too.

She laughed, right in my face as I stared at her, feeling a burning behind my eyes – tears that were the result of anger, frustration, fear, pain…everything I felt, and I couldn't release the tears as real tears. Venom dripped from my eyes – I had thought vampires couldn't cry, but of course I wasn't a vampire, was I?

Her gleeful expression at the venom tears made me want to rip her to pieces, but her words surprised me. "That was rather interesting, Swan. I wonder what else will mark you as different?"

I winced at the word 'different', but was confused all the same. "What do you mean? You just tempted me with human blood while I was a newborn vampire…cat_ thing_," I hissed, angered by her nonchalance. "What's so unusual about that?"

Victoria smiled. "Because that was the animal blood," she chuckled before holding up a second container of red – unopened.

I squeezed my eyes shut, realizing that it was human blood in the second bottle. But strangely, I felt nothing – no compulsion to jump at her, nothing. After a moment, I realized that I couldn't smell anything.

When my eyes slid open, I found her waving the bottle right under my nose – and I caught a faint tinge of stomach-turning rust and salt, but was otherwise unaffected. She laughed to herself again as she sauntered past me into the room, ignoring my wide-eyed gaping.

I couldn't smell human blood? What did that make me, then? A vampire immune to the scent of human blood was something entirely too rare, I was certain. And yet, I found myself wondering how elated Edward would be once he knew.

If he knew. If he ever found out, if I ever got out of this place and away from Victoria. Those were entirely too many 'ifs' for my comfort, but there wasn't much I could really do to change the fact that I might not see him again.

The thought tore me apart inside – but I had to face reality. The chances of me escaping from Victoria while under this influence that held me bound tight were infinitely small. I couldn't imagine a way out, and that wasn't for lack of trying. I was trying so hard to find a loophole, but I couldn't see one.

She drew me back to the present when she sighed loudly; I turned to see her standing by the window. For a moment, I thought I saw her mouthing something in the reflection of the glass, but when she abruptly turned around it appeared that her face hadn't moved a bit from the stony smirk.

Her eyes appraised me, but she didn't hesitate as she said, "Since we've found you immune to the scent of human blood, you're going to come with me outside this room."

I knew better by then, but my hope still swelled uncontrollably once she said that. But it must have shown on my face. "You're to act like my shadow, and not to talk to anyone else. Nothing is to be said of your situation, and no one is to know your name. If they ask, get away from them without a second's hesitation."

My scowl deepened when she added, "And you are to stay close to me at all times – if you're getting away from a person, you are to come back here. No transforming, either."

With that, she pulled open the door and I found my feet following her, despair rising every minute. Here I was, freed from my prison only to be place in a mobile trap. It was hardly what I would call unfair – it was much worse than that.

We walked down the hallway, her leading and me following behind, my steps padded soft and utterly quiet. The hall was a gray stone color, with crisp white carpeting. The rows of doors were all the same dark blue color with silver handles, matching the rooms within.

As we walked, I continuously tried to step out of my bindings and say something about the Cullens, or the pack. My jaw was locked tight through it all. Despite the waves of calming that hit me through the link we shard every time I tried to rebel, I managed to keep fighting.

She shot me an annoyed glance once we reached the elevator, and suddenly I found my jaw relaxing. With horror, I realized that she could command me with her mind as well, not needing to say the words out loud. What other restrictions had she placed on me?

With a glance down at my swishing tail, she made me curl it up and around my waist, held in place under my gigantic sweatshirt. It was uncomfortable, but there wasn't mush I could do about it, or my ears which she made me flatten against my head – that was an anger reflex and so didn't cause me as much discomfort as the tail, but still commanded me without any foreseeable exit of her order.

There was a loophole in a different one, however. She said I wasn't to talk to anyone _else_ – that didn't include her. I spoke as fast and high as I could, the vampire way I had noticed the Cullens do so many times. "Where are we?"

Victoria's face stiffened tightly and she glared at me, but answered all the same. "I swum with you down to California. We're in a hotel along the northernmost part of the coast."

California. Northern California, to be precise; that was a bit comforting, in a small way. We were not on another continent, which was good – but we were so close, which might not be as great a thing.

If we were that close, then that meant that Victoria could be aiming to have me hurt Edward, with me unable to deflect the control she had over me. That made this whole situation that much worse, for if we had just been far from here then he might be safe from harm physically.

But with all the pain we've both gone through, emotional agony was just as potent and hurtful as the physical. It was a close tie, and I couldn't see which I'd actually prefer to the other – to go through my eternal existence knowing I'd hurt Edward with my absence, or living with knowing I'd killed him, as I thought Victoria planned to make me do.

Of course, Edward would think differently than I – he would prefer I hurt him only with my absence, knowing that I would destroy myself just as surely as he if I were forced to murder him through Victoria's will.

No one else stepped on our elevator as it traveled down to the ground floor, and once we stepped off, it was into a deserted lobby. Slate stone tiling covered the floor, with various dark blue rugs placed at angles underneath black leather sofas and chairs. The counter was sleek metal and behind it, a staff member dressed all in white typed tediously at a computer, phone headset on their ear.

There was no one else there. And with that, the small, fleeting hope that someone would see me, and maybe Edward would see it in his or her mind, disappeared. I was undeniably stuck in this moving prison at Victoria's side.

She led me out into an overcast day – the hotel stood, tall and proud, right along the cliffside. Tall pine trees framed the ocean view, with no road in front of us. Hiking trails led through the dense, thick woods around us, and it appeared that we had left the hotel from the back entrance.

Victoria and I lithely moved through the trees, stepping over the uneven ground with the unnatural grace of a supernatural creature. Once, I glanced back at the industrial-looking hotel, a futuristic themed haven. To me, it was a prison – decorated in cold steel silver bars and icy unforgivable blue water.

I thought that she would lead us back to the hotel eventually if she didn't find whatever she was looking for on this short excursion. Something nagged at my mind, however, and I tried to make a bit of sense from it – surely she would have us head back, after all. Didn't she need to check out, or something like that?

Of course, the minute I thought it I realized that she might have already checked out while I was still up in the hotel room. Maybe we were headed somewhere else already – she couldn't risk the Cullens or the pack coming across us.

Unless that was her plan, I reminded myself as I kept pace following her. She could want us to run across them so she could rub in Edward's face that I had no control over my own self, couldn't make myself come back to him for her control over me was unbreakable.

The trees sped by at a dizzying rate as we ran now, freed of the possibility of any human finding us from anywhere near the hotel. There might have been humans in the woods around us, but for as long as I was following Victoria on her twisting routes through the trees we ran across none.

Several times I wondered where she was leading me, heading us towards – was it another place to make me hole up for days on end? I was certain that time had passed by more quickly than I had thought while stuck by myself, alone with my thoughts to keep me company – I hadn't kept track of the changes of light through the window, as welled up in grief as I was.

As we ran and I tried to ponder out how long I had been separated from Edward, I wasn't just thinking about him and the absence scars he had left on my life for these past however-many days.

Victoria was beginning to seem…spastic, for lack of a better word. I wouldn't have any hint of that disgusting rust and salt scent but she would suddenly slow, sniffing the air before dragging us onward as though disappointed that she couldn't find something.

Whenever she slowed and I caught up to her before she sped up again, I would hear a few words on the breeze – it was like she was talking to herself and didn't quite realize I was there.

"…not that way, no…of course I know where I am…that's the destination, isn't it…but I want her there…she will do it, because I have control…no that's not the plan…we have to…I am not going to let her get away with this…the girl will help, she had no choice…leave it to me, I'll take care of it…"

After a while, I was beginning to be seriously frightened by her strange bursts of speech, her odd halting moments, and another fact that began to bother me greatly; she was loosing the grace of her vampire movements.

It was like she was the puppet now, but being controlled by an amateur marionette holder who had no idea what to do. The curious way she was acting made me a bit afraid to be anywhere near her right now, but I didn't have much of a choice.

As the sun rose high in the sky until it was becoming sunset and still, she was leading me through the forest, I was beginning to wonder whether she was not in her right mind, and leading me like this was going to end up badly for both of us.

Normally, I wouldn't be the least bit concerned whether she was hurt or not, but I was concerned with the fact that if she were taken down by another vampire that they would take the amulet she had and thus, gain control over me instead of her.

The thought that I might become some kind of prize to be tossed around made me shudder; bad enough that I couldn't go back to Edward, now I might become a portable slave that had no choice but to obey my master.

But the thought of the amulets made me wonder – if it was destroyed, it wouldn't be able to control me anymore, would it? I was forbidden to allow anything to happen to mine – but Victoria had never said anything about hers.

If I could somehow manage to get close enough to destroy hers, then I might be freed. The possibility of my being able to do that was so infinitely small that I might as well not even try; she would never allow me that close.

Could someone else do that? If we got into a fight, it could be destroyed by accident – my hope rekindled, and to my surprise, she sent another calm wave to me through the charm. Like I was supposed to be kept in a placid state – she just wanted my docile.

The playing with my emotions reminded me of Jasper – and a strange thought occurred to me. Since I was being kept so emotionally blank, would an overload of feeling cause anything to happen?

Possibilities swirled in my mind until I heard the first sound I had for the past half a day. Far away to our right, a twig was snapped – downwind. They could hear us, and if they were a vampire or werewolf, then we could be smelled as well.

My head snapped to Victoria – I had been watching where I was running out of habit, for my fear of tripping – and I noted that she seemed to have the same delayed reaction that she had when I had first screamed after she bit me back in La Push.

We kept running for nearly a full second before her head turned to the side, like she had just heard the sound. My feet stopped moving when she gave me a passing glance and I froze, stiff and solid.

It felt like my muscles were solid chunks of ice; but I could still move my eyes. And I watched her, since there was not way I could move my head to the side in the hopes of spotting someone who could help me.

Contemplating something, she glanced over me once more before backing up into the trees – I lost sight of her after a moment. But her command had already been issued directly to my body, nonverbally so I had no idea what I was going to be forced to do.

Of their own accord, my arms drifted up and moved my hood over my head and ducking so my face was pointed to the ground – then I was so still, I wasn't even breathing and there was no warning for me as to what was coming. I couldn't catch any scent without drawing breath.

Another loud snap sounded, much closer, and if my heart had still been beating it would have been pounding out a disjointed rhythm. I tried again to move, to do something, anything, but it was no use. Frustration grew in me – but this time, no calming wave from the amulet swept over me. I had no time to ponder that.

"Bella?"

* * *

_A/N – I know, really! Who saw it coming – someone who knew Bella is now there! Yay, right? NO. Completely wrong, actually. :) Sorry, I'm not making much sense. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter - and know that the next one has action in it:) Review for me, please! Thank you!_


	7. Discovering

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N** – Thank you for all your reviews and support of this story! _

_**Song To Listen To**: 'Please Forgive Me' by David Gray. The way I am using this makes it a bit of a sad song – it's Bella and Edward talking to each other, I guess; Bella saying that she's sorry she can't get away from Victoria and Edward that he can't help her. Different lines can be different perspectives on this, and it is meant to lean towards the sadder side, rather than the romantic happy-ish one.

* * *

_

_**'Please Forgive Me' by David Gray**_

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange_

_For I know not what I do_

_Feels like lightening running through my veins_

_Every time I look at you_

_Every time I look at you_

_Help me out here all my words are falling short_

_And there's so much I want to say_

_Want to tell you just how good it feels_

_When you look at me that way_

_When you look at me that way_

_Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow_

_Moving out across the bay_

_Like a stone, I fall into your eyes_

_Deep into that mystery_

_Deep into some mystery_

_I got half a mind to scream out loud_

_I got half a mind to doubt_

_So I won't ever have to loose you girl_

_Won't ever have to say goodbye_

_I won't ever have to lie_

_Won't ever have to say goodbye_

_Whoa-whoa-oh oh I_

_Whoa-whoa-oh oh I_

_Whoa-whoa-oh oh I_

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange_

_For I know not what I do_

_Feels like lightening running through my veins_

_Every time I look at you_

_Every time I look at you_

_Every time I look at you_

_Every time I look at you

* * *

_

**_Curse _**

**Discovering **

"Bella?"

This could not be happening. There could not be one of my family members, standing barely a few feet away from me while Victoria most likely skulked in the back of the trees somewhere. While I was unable to move or do anything of my own accord: while I was trapped, unable to move or even breathe.

Now I at least knew why I hadn't felt any emotions not my own flowing through me – because of Jasper, using his peacemaking abilities to keep me calm in a way that wasn't intrusive and forced like Victoria's had been.

Jasper, Edward's brother, right there beside me – and my neck was solid steel, my face pointed at the ground and my body completely frozen. I was breathing again, I noticed after a moment of trying to move anything – and there was a second scent along with Jasper's vampire sweetness.

A rough, slightly burnt smell, like the wood of a campfire in contrast to wind blowing off ice like that of a vampire. Werewolf – one of the pack was here, with Jasper.

It brought tears to my eyes, and the venom spilled over my cheeks slowly, smoothly. It was bad enough that one of the Cullen family as here, now, but to have one of the pack along with them? It was unbearable that either family group could be hurt over me, because of me – by me.

It also didn't make that much sense at first, until logic kicked in. Vampires and werewolves were mortal enemies – but I had been attacked on Quileute territory. They would feel responsible, and the Cullens wouldn't accept not being able to find me – even if that meant working with the werewolves.

My emotions were a deep well of despair, fear, and pain; I could feel the calming waves from Jasper, as he tried to soothe me, but my breathing rate quickened, in response to the stress I was under from the amulet control and the mood sensor's power.

Venom tears trickled down my cheeks more quickly when the two approaching supernatural creatures stopped, and Jasper tentatively asked, "Bella? Are you all right?"

"Obviously not," a gruff voice hissed. "She's standing there after she's been missing for a good two weeks. What do you think she feels?" That was Embry; I recognized his voice – two familiar voices after all these weeks alone.

It startled me when he said it had been at least two weeks. I hadn't pinned it on such a long period of time – no doubt Charlie was frantic by now. As my worry rose, it unexpectedly dropped into sadness as I realized I would never see him again. He couldn't see me like this, ever, and so to him I was now officially dead.

"Quiet; you're upsetting her," was Jasper's short answer to Embry. Frustration started creeping in, along with despair; why couldn't they see what was wrong? How could they not tell that something wasn't right with me? I prayed they would see something off about me, but there was nothing physical visible.

"Bella? Bella, move, talk to us, do something. I can feel you, I can see you – what's wrong?" Hope swelled in me – maybe Jasper can figure out that I'm not technically me. My arms don't even twitch under the frenzied panic I put into trying to move; I give up on that and try to make my lips move, making my aggravation grow.

Since my eyes were pointed at the ground, I could see the two shadows move closer, the sunset making them stretch long and eerily before me. I could feel my muscles suddenly tense, as their scent blew to me in a sudden wind shift.

Fear welled up; if my muscles were slowly coiling to pounce, then Victoria was going to try and make me do something. She might be standing off from afar, telling my body what to do and when. Desperation gripped me and I felt more tears leak out from my eyes before stopping completely.

"What's wrong, Bella? If you're afraid about Victoria hurting us, don't worry; she won't. Embry can signal his pack to what's happening without even transforming now – they'll know. Please, say something." Jasper begging; it wasn't something I had ever thought I would hear from him to me.

But it appeared that Victoria had decided to literally make me a puppet. On their own, my lips moved and my voice emotionlessly answered, "That's not the problem."

Embry had moved closer – I could smell him less than five feet away. "Hey, Bells, what's that mean? Come on, we know it's you – don't worry about us, we just have to get you out of here before the redhead comes back, right?"

"What makes you think she's gone?" Another emotionless comment; a fiery rage gripped my heart and I felt like screaming in frustration. I couldn't do anything!

There was a shift of movement before Jasper spoke. "She's not here, Bella. I can feel only you and the wolf, but no one else. Now, tell us why you won't so much as look up."

The venom trails of tears on my cheeks had disappeared, and with my skin flawlessly smooth, my head rose all by itself; I looked out of my eyes, where they were pointed, and I saw Jasper and Embry.

My old werewolf friend looked awful; he was thinner, obviously not having much time to eat and metabolize any food. Those boys needed a lot of sustenance to maintain their ability to protect their land. He had only a pair of loose sweats pulled on, hanging low on his hips – if he had to shift suddenly, then it would be easier to dive out of the pants.

Jasper looked the same as ever, despite the fact that right now he was staring at me with a carefully blank face. His plain cotton shirt and jeans were reminiscent of a hikers', and I caught sight of a backpack on his shoulder. Obviously, Embry had been running in wolf form and there was a change of clothes and likely some food in the bag over Jasper's shoulder.

They were startled when my dead-looking eyes met theirs, one after the other; and just as suddenly as Victoria had made me do that, she caused my body to do one thing I had not expected her to make me do.

I ran.

My feet pounded through the trees, carrying me quickly through underbrush and branches. I heard a shout behind me; a snarl, and then two different beings were chasing me; a large four-footed wolf and a super-fast vampire.

The werewolf was able to keep up with Jasper, but I wasn't that fast. They were gaining on me, despite the small head start I had managed to scrape by with. I couldn't see or sense Victoria anywhere ahead of me – which I realized was upwind. Embry and Jasper could smell me.

Joy shot through the panic and despair I had felt once Victoria had made me turn heel and run. They wouldn't loose me, and from what I could tell, Victoria knew nothing about which way the wind was blowing as I ran.

A flash of gold to my side caught my attention; Jasper was running alongside me, his eyes intently watching the path and me at the same time. He was trying to find a place to cut me off. A glance to my other side showed a huge wolf of silvery fur doing the same thing.

Relief was a short and ill-timed companion as my legs began slowing down. I saw through the trees the brilliant red sunset that cast vertical stripes through the trees, reflecting off my skin and Jasper's – a ruby tint in the glitter effect that all vampires had. So I had that trait too, I mused for a brief moment.

Then I let out a hiss of sharp breath when I caught sight of my hands – the claws were growing out, miniature silver daggers. A toss of my head let my long hair tumble out, flowing off my waist at the speed we were going, and I felt my ears prick up, let loose.

My tail unwrapped itself from my waist and it hung loose and natural as I ran, moving on it's own accord, needing no instruction from Victoria. When she directed my eyes to glance at each of my companions in turn, I saw the shock on their faces.

"Let me go!" My voice screamed as I ran, and I felt a tingling that was familiar in a way that I didn't necessarily like. My fear grew, as did my hope that Jasper wouldn't obey me. "Leave me alone!"

He was extremely startled by my appearance, but he didn't so much as waver an inch. "Bella, whatever you look like or are, it doesn't matter to us, and it won't matter to Edward! You know that, I can feel it coming off you! So why are you so scared? I don't understand!"

"Because I don't want to go back!" My heart felt like it was breaking as the words left my mouth, the cruel and hard expression dominating my features. I felt like I could cry again, and Victoria tried to put on a burst of speed-.

Something furry and heavy crashed into my back, throwing me completely off balance and sending me into a cartwheeling roll. I landed face down, my limbs refusing to move without Victoria guiding them – after a moment, they were under her control again.

But in that same moment, I had been pulled off the ground by a worried vampire and his werewolf companion: Embry had changed back, tugging his pants up and taking my shoulders from behind while Jasper held them from the front.

"What are you doing?" he snarled in my face, irritated and confused. "This isn't like you, Bella. This isn't you!" I could feel my lips ready to snarl back before Jasper sent a wave of calming serenity through me.

It was like a switch had been flipped in my head, causing painful electric sparks to zap the person who flicked it – namely me. I gasped and grabbed my head with my hands, struggling to draw in air – on my own.

I was controlling myself! My lungs, my hands, by limbs – I was shivering like I had just been pulled out of a warm house and thrust into the cold snow. With my eyes squeezed shut, I tried to make myself stop shaking.

It wasn't going to work, and suddenly, it was like a sixth sense overcame me; I wouldn't be in control for long. Victoria's control would come back eventually, and I'd be in her mercy. I had to warn them while I could.

"Jasper…" I gasped, forcing my eyes open. "Jasper, Embry…" I swallowed hard, trying to force out the words I had to say.

They watched me carefully, frantic and worried and entirely confused about what to do. Jasper kept his hands on my shoulders, and nodded, knowing I had to get whatever I had to say out.

"You…you can't stay here," I choked. "Victoria…control, she's controlling me…I can't break it…you have to get away…"

"Bella, if she's done something to you-." Jasper glanced at my ears, a brief flicker of motion, and changed his words. "Whatever she did to you, we can help you. Come with us, we can help-."

"No," I cried, venom tears spiraling down my cheeks as I felt Victoria's control looming closer. "You can't…you have to break it to let me go…you have to-." My voice cut off, wheezing sharply. My hands clamped to my throat and I barely choked out my warning. "Leave…she'll make…me change…I can't…stop it…"

It was the last thing I could say to them. As I struggled with my own body to try and make myself stop, I felt it anyway. Jasper's hands fell away and the two of them backed up, horrified, as the fur sprouted out at hyper-speed, my muscles and bones changing and becoming feline and graceful.

I fell forward onto my paws, the damp ground underneath them felt through a thin haze as Victoria reasserted herself as the puppeteer. Of their own accord, my legs started carrying me forward – I could feel the snarl on my face, exposing the sharp teeth and fangs in my mouth that I felt; canines, like where a traditional vampire from modern folklore would have fangs.

Jasper stared down at me, his face twisted in a mask of grief – for his brother, who would receive the news right now as Embry was already changed into wolf, allowing the mind link to let the pack know what he was seeing. In turn, Edward would too if he was near any of the other pack members.

The two were then running as fast as they could – and I chased them, Victoria enjoying her taunting message that they would receive of me – the one they were trying to rescue, chasing them off. Oh, the irony was inescapable.

My running legs took me just as fast as they ran – I could see them ahead of me, Jasper behind Embry and apparently urging him onward. Like a predator cat, I took off a little to the side, skulking along the side of the trees through the underbrush, absolutely silent.

In doing this, I got closer to them – but suddenly, halted right in mid-step. What was she planning now, I worried with dread, what is she going to make me do? If my heart could still beat, it would have stopped then as I began shifting back.

It didn't make sense to me why she was doing this now. I had been gaining on the two of them – surely that was what she had wanted? But no, now Victoria was making me run in my normal state to reach someplace; I didn't know where she was making me go.

As my legs moved, so did my arms, sweeping my hair back from my face and smoothing it out into a high ponytail, sleek and long. It hung halfway down my back due to the length; the next moment, I had shed the sweatshirt and was running with it in my arms, allowing my body to be free under the cold night air.

The sun had long since set, but that did nothing to make my slinky tank top and tight pants uncomfortable in the icy air. If anything, I felt warm; but there was no way to know if that was true or just a delayed response to the cold that my newly created vampire body had.

Like my musings had been the key to what was coming, I stepped through trees and came out to a nice, wide area of flat grass with a light scattering of trees, a small stream trickling through on the far side. The whole clearing was possibly 50 feet for each side of the perimeter, give or take a few feet. But that wasn't what caught my attention.

What was in the clearing was what attracted my eyes, and if my jaw had not been snapped shut and my tear ducts controlled by the puppet master, I would have screamed and begun bawling my eyes out.

* * *

_A/N – This isn't too much of a cliffhanger, because I think you can all guess whom she saw and what is going to happen next. Well, okay, maybe not, but anyway – don't worry about it! This isn't anywhere close to the end of the story – in fact, this whole thing is aiming to be 25 chapters._

_So, the next chapter may be one giant confrontation, but it is nowhere near the end of the story. Please review for me now, thank you! I love you all!_


	8. Fight

_**Disclaime**r: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N –** I thank you profusely for all of your reviews! Even though this isn't an extremely popular story, I am glad that all of you, my reviewers, like it. I love you all! Thanks for reading!_

_This took a while for me to write and still I don't think I got it quite right. It was hard to write and I'm not entirely certain I like it. I apologize, however, for taking a while to update this story._

_**Song To Listen To:** 'Time Is Running Out' by the Muse. To me, the song starts talking about how Bella wants her freedom and is fighting for it. She's struggling against the power Victoria has over her and wants desperately to win. :) Enjoy!

* * *

_

**_'Time Is Running Out' by the Muse_**

_I think I'm drowning_

_Asphyxiated_

_I wanna break the spell_

_That you've created_

_You're something beautiful_

_A contradiction_

_I wanna play the game_

_I want the friction_

_You will be the death of me_

_You will be the death of me_

_Bury it_

_I won't let you bury it_

_I won't let you smother it_

_I won't let you murder it_

_Our time is running out_

_Our time is running out_

_You can't push it underground_

_You can't stop it screaming out_

_I wanted freedom_

_Bound and restricted_

_I tried to give it up_

_But I'm addicted_

_No that you know I'm trapped_

_Sense of elation_

_You'd never dream of_

_Breaking this fixation_

_You will squeeze the life out of me_

_Bury it_

_I won't let you bury it_

_I won't let you smother it_

_I won't let you murder it_

_Our time is running out_

_Our time is running out_

_You can't push it underground_

_You can't stop it screaming out_

_How did it come to this?_

_You will suck the life out of me_

_(ooh...yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)_

_Bury it_

_I won't let you bury it_

_I won't let you smother it_

_I won't let you murder it_

_Our time is running out_

_Our time is running out_

_You can't push it underground_

_You can't stop it screaming out_

_How did it come to this?_

_(oooh...yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

* * *

_

**_Curse _**

**Fight**

It was a sight for sore eyes that I saw; there stood Edward, my angel, my life – facing me, seeing me come out of the forest in all my black-clothed and tailed glory. The Cullen family – my family – was spread out with members of the pack in human form dotted in between them.

Like a miracle, the vampires and werewolves were indeed working together – but my heart would have stopped in fear for them. Victoria was standing in front of me, and my family looked ready to kill her – but seemed to have no idea of how much danger they themselves were in.

Indeed, I was ready to kill her too – but I had no control over myself. Like an obedient puppet, I was standing behind the puppeteer as soon as I broke into the clearing. My nails sharpened and lengthened, tail swishing back and forth, but I stood in place behind her.

She wanted to talk before making me attack them. That could be good; maybe I would have some time while she teased them, jeering and gloating over her success. Her ability to trick them from plain sight and getting away with me to do what she wanted.

It made no sense to me, though; this was what we had been avoiding, wasn't it? A confrontation wouldn't solve much of anything – with the seven Cullens and six Pack members, they could easily trap her and me – and win.

But they weren't; the stony stares and lack of overwhelming shock showed that Jasper and Embry had had enough time to tell them what I had managed to communicate. But I still saw the flashed glances to me; they were scared.

Of what I was? Or for my sake, because I was trapped? It was undeterminable, confusing, and I couldn't concentrate as much as I wanted to while Victoria kept me placated with the calming waves from the amulet that connected us.

It was quiet in the meadow. Not a single one of us moved, and I don't think my family was even breathing for they were so still. Victoria didn't turn her head to acknowledge my presence, but I saw her smirk widen to a feral grin when I made a move to stand beside her – never mind that she was the one making me do this.

My mind was working overtime. What I had said to Jasper and Embry was true, or as true as I could think it was under the circumstances that Victoria was able to control me. She had the matching necklace to mine; I was never to remove the one around my throat; she kept hers covered at all costs with me around.

Her amulet was the center to all this. She needed it to control me – so I had to get rid of it, once and for all.

The problem lay with my inability to do any such thing as I was. If I was in control of myself, I might be able to help them – but not right now. I was unable to do anything to help them with her controlling everything about me.

If Jasper had understood my warning – which he likely didn't – then he would know to get rid of the talisman. But they had been concentrating on me, on how to get me out – not what I was telling them.

More questions had been raised in me after our brief encounter as well. How had Jasper managed to break Victoria's hold on me for those few short minutes? I wasn't able to think about that for long, however; the redheaded vampire decided it was time to talk.

"A mate for a mate," she sneered, backing up just the slightest bit – enough to stand beside me. My body was unmoving, not even taking breaths; the sweatshirt was a pile of cloth at my feet and my hands, relaxed by my sides, still had enough claw on them to do some damage.

It dawned on me at that very moment exactly what Victoria was planning to make me do. She had led me here to the family in order to hurt Edward – and it would be me doing the fighting, me trying to kill Edward. Behind my solid stone eyes, venom tears bubbled and I wanted to wail, "No, let me die! Let me be the one in pain!"

But I couldn't. The best I could hope for was that Jasper could still feel what I felt – I saw it in his eyes that he could sense the panic threatening to loom over me like a dark cloud. Edward snarled, "Don't touch her," and I wasn't the slightest bit surprised to hear the harshness in his voice, deadly serious.

Hearing his voce for the first time in a very long while nearly made my heart break; his eyes were focused so intently on my face that it was a wonder that I wasn't breaking down the barriers that separated me from him at that very minute for the longing I felt swamping me.

Such an intense longing for all of this to go away so I could live my life happily with Edward, eternity with the man I loved. But I was stuck, at the side of a murderous vampire bent on revenge.

"Oh, I won't touch her," Victoria snickered, as she pulled back a little bit more. Was I the only one to see her maneuvering to push me forward? To see the way she was preparing to run? "But that doesn't mean she'll refrain from touching you…"

Esme's voice was cutting ice. "What did you do to her?" It seemed that she alone caught the implications of what was happening – but Edward wasn't far behind. His godly beautiful face was devastated as he stared at me, knowing how much I was being torn up inside over this – and not just because Jasper could feel it, either.

The laugh that came out of my capturer's throat was uncannily like the comments she was making to herself earlier. "_I _didn't do anything to your precious little pet Swan." Of course she would say that; all she did was bite me and throw a charm around my neck.

The word that flew out of Rosalie's mouth was one I had never thought the absurdly beautiful vampiress knew, followed by, "Let my sister go you red-haired demonic -." With a few more harsh words to follow: I suppose vampires really did loose their tempers.

I began tuning out, trying to find a way to move or escape – anything to warn them, any small sign to get them out of harm's way. If they ran now, and I was unable to catch them, they would be safe for a while. They might be safe enough to find a way to destroy the amulet of Victoria's.

The problem was that all those plans depended on me either talking or someone knowing what I thought – and neither option was possible. This hellhole I was sunk in had slippery sides and steep slopes with no one on the outside to pull me out.

My mind snapped back into reality from my moody, sulking thoughts as Victoria, bored by her gloating, told me, "Do your job, Swan." I knew that she placed many more mental commands on me, determining what I would do now in a way that I couldn't know – she didn't say it out loud. "I hope you have fun with your pet, Cullens – she's really quite the animal."

Lame, I thought in disgust as I took a fighting stance – knees bent, arms angled, eyes focused – an entirely stupid remark at the end of her gloating. They already knew I could change into a cat – Jasper and Embry had seen it and doubtless informed the Cullens and pack of that particular development.

She turned on her heel and ran off, leaving me behind to face my family and pack – none of which looked happy about this. No, they definitely looked very unsettled by my covering for the redhead vampiress that ran off behind me.

Carlisle eased forward a little bit, a glances flicking to the pack – they stood still, just watching; but I got the feeling that they weren't watching so much as waiting. "Bella," he spoke clearly. "Can you understand me?"

My lips curled into a snarl, contrary to my mood; I felt like crying again, angry and frustrated about being unable to help myself get free. I could feel my ears twitch as they picked up Jasper's quiet murmur, "She can hear you; even if her body isn't her own, her mind is untouched."

"Good," Carlisle said, his eyes shining with hope. "Very well; Bella, can you break free?"

Annoyance flickered through me – of course I couldn't get free – but was followed by desperation. Again, Jasper translated. "No, she's been trying but she can't." Once more I was thankful that Jasper could sense what I felt, was able to see in a roundabout way into my mind -.

There was a way into my mind: by sensing what I felt, he saw the part of me that Victoria couldn't reach – which undermined her authority. That was how I threw it off back there! The amulet allowed her partial access to throwing emotions through me, but Jasper's complete and total control messed with hers for a minute.

It was a very short time – but if he did that again, I might have enough time to warn them. Now, how could I get that point across?

A second was all it took, however, to mess up the hope I felt swelling within me – for a second was all it took for my body to obey Victoria's command and prepare itself to pounce. And the direction it was heading was for a certain vampire boyfriend of mine who didn't know I wasn't able to stop.

Jasper had some warning, for immediate panic stormed up and flew hyperactively around in my mind, unable to be controlled. In the space it would take a human to blink, I had crouched and pounced at my love, claws sharpening as I shot through the air like a missile.

My big brother Emmett caught me before I made it through the air to Edward – and instead of finding their vampire target, my claws settled for clawing his sibling's arm instead, raking the daggers over his skin harshly and twisting in his arms in a feline movement.

"Ahh!" He dropped me, crying out in pain, as I righted myself in the space of another blink and began heading toward my target again. This time Alice and Rosalie intercepted me – and I found myself in a strangely graceful and deadly battle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the wolves burst away from the cluster, shooting off into the forest with reckless abandon – and I knew Victoria had not gone that far, for she would want to retrieve me. Somehow, I knew she hadn't made my body plans to meet her somewhere else after this.

It was quite obvious as I fought that I was trying anything and everything to reach Edward. The pain it caused me to know that it was I who was supposed to hurt him beyond repair was excruciating, but I could not stop my body.

I evaded Rosalie's furious punches and kicks easily, but Alice's dancing assault was hard to break away from. In fact, they held me trapped for so long as I dodged and swung, that Emmett showed up behind me unexpectedly and held my arms behind my back.

My heart leapt when I was unable to break free – maybe they did know! Maybe Japer had managed to say something to them after all, and luck was on our side for once. And my hopes weren't shattered this time, as Jasper grabbed my head in his hands and a startling wave of calm bashed through everyone, strong and intense.

Emmett's arms weakened for a moment, but my knees had buckled – I fell towards the ground before someone else's cool arms were wrapped around my waist tightly, holding me against his solid, comforting chest. Like the time before, I began shivering, my teeth clenched to stop shattering too much as I tried to force words out of my mouth.

"E-Edward…" I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to hold on. Already, Victoria was furiously trying to pry me back into her control; I didn't have much time.

"What is it Bella?" He answered, voice close to my ear as he held me up. "You needed to say something to Jasper – what is it? What can we do?"

At least he understood that I wasn't safe, even though I seemed to be in control of myself. "Y-You have to get rid of it…" I choked, eyes opening to lock onto his where they rested on my face from beside me. "The…necklace," my fingers fluttered around the one dangling at my collarbone. "Destroy…hers…"

The resolution I saw in their eyes was exceedingly wonderful to see – but I paid a price. As soon as my fingers brushed the metal, it was like a window had opened up in my mind. I saw Victoria circling around to dodge the werewolves and that she had been for the past few minutes – and she saw what had happened between the vampires and me.

Fury allowed her to penetrate my body again and I let out a whimper as I felt myself loosing control. "No!" The whimper turned to snarling, and Edward's hands disappeared from my shoulders as he prepared to defend himself from me.

But Victoria didn't want me anywhere near them now; I turned tail and ran out into the forest around us. I could hear my family following me closely, and I wondered, as my body dashed through the trees, why Victoria was calling me to her.

As I burst into a sparser tree area, it became clear why – werewolves surrounded the vampiress. Hissing and trying to find an escape, it appeared that she called me here because she needed backup. She was doomed – and we all knew it. But my feet made me run towards her despite the facts.

Edward shouted to the pack, "Get her necklace!" before the Cullens were swarming on me, trying to hold me back from leaping to Victoria's aid. My flailing limbs connected several times to random members of my family, but as I was no longer trying to hunt down Edward in the midst of all the fighting, he was the one who had me the most.

It was his arms that closed around me and held my arms firmly at my sides; his hold on me that prevented my body from hurting the pack; his ability at handling mountain lions and thus me when I twisted and tried to break free like a cat.

All the while, as my body tried to reach Victoria, I watched from my mind where she could not control me. I saw how the pack surrounded her, gigantic wolves baying for blood with her in the center, trying to find a way out but not succeeding.

Like a dream, I watched through my eyes as the large russet wolf clamped its jaws around the chain that hung on Victoria's throat. A flash of red on a golden coin as it swung in the air and dropped to the floor was all it took for my body to thrash wildly enough to break away.

Victoria was underneath the pile of snapping wolf teeth and claws as I made a mad dash towards the amulet – and someone reached it first, one of the wolves who noticed and broke away from the group with red-tinged claws.

I was only two yards away before a paw hit the stone and chain square on the ground – when the paw lifted, the necklace was completely crushed and broken from the weight placed on top of it. Small slivers of red crystal lay amid the pieces of broken golden metal.

And as soon as the talisman was crushed, a sharp pain shot through my chest, making me gasp in agony before collapsing to the ground, black swarming on the edges of my vision.

* * *

_A/N – As I said at the top, I'm not entirely certain this came out right. I liked the way it was all set up in my head, but when time came to put it down on 'paper', it didn't quite come out right. This draft of it was the best in my opinion, and I hope you liked it as well! Review and tell me your honest opinion! Thanks for reading!_


	9. Sanctuary

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N-** I know, this hasn't been updated in a little while. :) But I do have to tell you that this is just a small, filler chapter – and it is absolutely loaded with fluffiness and a bit of tenseness that quickly becomes relief. If you don't understand that statement – then just read. _

_**Song To Listen To:** 'How To Save A Life' by The Fray. It speaks out, a bit angsty in a few small ways but to me, it also speaks of promise and hope. Promise to who – that you'll have to decide for yourself.

* * *

_

**_'How To Save A Life' by The Fray_**

_Step one you say we need to talk_

_He walks you say sit down it's just a talk_

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left and you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_And you begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_Let him know that you know best_

_Cause after all you do know best_

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_The things you've told him all along_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_As he begins to raise his voice_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

_Drive until you lose the road_

_Or break with the ones you've followed_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_How to save a life_

_How to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

_How to save a life

* * *

_

**_Curse_ **

**Sanctuary**

Black fog swamped my vision, tendrils reaching out over my eyes, blocking only parts of the world around me – there was pain, and a hardness in the air as I struggled to draw it into my lungs; it was far too difficult.

Behind the wisps of smoke clouding my eyes, I saw the wolves – my gasp of pain had caused one hesitation too many. Behind their heads, Victoria snarled once as she darted straight into the trees.

For a moment, it seemed like they would chase her. That they would pursue her, hunt her down, kill her before she ever did something like this to anyone else. But it was not to be; they had hesitated too long, gathering near me where I lay on the ground.

No, not the forest floor – marble. Marble arms held me around the waist, but my head was fallen back, throat exposed. A sacrificial lamb, made to be put through intense agony before death. As it was, it felt like my throat was slit and I was slowly, agonizingly dying.

With my eyes half-closed and foggy like they were, it was a wonder that I saw anything. But when my head was lifted by someone else's hand, tenderly placed on the back of my neck, I saw straight to my angel's beautiful face.

It was a second dagger to my heart to see the pain beheld there. Edward's perfect face, marred and twisted in agony as he looked down at me – one arm holding my upper body off the ground, the other supporting my head.

All I could do was try and focus my eyes on what I saw – there was a hollow ringing in my ears and I gasped sharply as another shooting pain tore through me from where the heavy gold chain dangled around my throat.

My fingers fluttered over the collar that was choking me; without a second of hesitation, he tore it away. Like cool water on a burn, the pain suddenly stopped – a crescendo halted right in the middle. Arms weak and limp, I collapsed back into his arms as the energy flowed out of me.

It was like a dream – I knew that I could sleep and wake up in a few hours. And I wanted nothing more than to do that; so I closed my eyes and my breathing slowed down dramatically as I waited for a wave of black calm to overtake me.

"Bella!" Someone was calling me? In my hazy mind, I couldn't understand why someone was talking to me, panic creeping into his voice. A second hand touched my forehead – and it was like I had swallowed two cups of coffee and a pound of sugar.

My eyes snapped open. "Wha'?" my intelligent reply to being woken up like I had fell out of my mouth.

"Bella, stay with me," Edward whispered – I could hear him though. Oh, right; I had super-hearing. And cat ears. "Please, don't fall asleep – don't leave me. Not now, not when you just got back."

I didn't think I was meant to hear everything he was saying – but I did. He must have to get used to me hearing everything he said. "E-Edward…" I yawned widely, my sharpened canines flashing in the moonlight.

Oh, a moon – ironic; a full moon shone overhead, where I was in a clearing surrounded by vampires and werewolves. Straight out of a horror movie, that's what this scene was. I struggled to talk again, pulling my mind out of the confusing daze of relief from pain. "Edward." It was no more than a sigh.

His cool, deft fingers stroked my face lovingly. "Bella, please stay with me. Don't give up." Topaz and intense, his eyes bore down into mine, liquid and molten and begging me to stay alive. Well, as alive as I could be as I was – technically, I was part of the group classified as the undead.

The words fell off my tongue like heavy weights. "Edward, do I look like a normal vampire to you?" Apparently, even if I was dead tired after a fight in which a vampiress was intent on making me kill my love and werewolves fought on the good vampire side – after all that, I could still be sarcastic. It was amazing.

Edward's forehead creased as he frowned down at me; an icy hand stroked one of my ears slightly, brushing my hair as it went. "No," he said at last, seeming very hesitant about his answer.

Whatever it was he wasn't certain about saying, I crushed to pieces with a half-sigh, half-laugh. "Then do you think that maybe, I might be able to sleep still? Ever heard of the term 'catnap'?" A small giggle escaped me; I suppose that when I was tired, I became prone to seeing the funny side of things, too.

Relief was far too evident on his face – of course, it could have been because I knew him so well that I saw it. That might be it; whatever it was, all I knew was that I found myself being drawn into his strong arms and lifted off the ground.

My head hung back limply for a moment until he moved me up to his shoulder and took a cautious step forward – but even with his smooth stride, I shivered from the pain. Feelings of bruises were forming along my arms and torso – the ice cold of his skin didn't help it by very much.

He saw it quickly; in a low, muted voice he asked, "Can we put her in your car?" A second too late, I realized that he wasn't talking to someone in his family.

Jacob's voice answered from somewhere to my right, "It's just beyond those trees – I'm sure that if you move carefully enough, she won't hurt any more than a little bit from small jolts."

My best friend was right; except for a few random steps, I was mostly hanging limp, as if on air instead of cradled securely in Edward's arms. My nose picked up the scents of my family and the pack surrounding us on all sides and conversation flew too fast for my weary mind to understand.

It took so much out of me to keep fighting Victoria's hold that once it was gone, I was weak from the struggling I had foolishly done. No longer under outside control, my body was too heavy for my tired mind to command and so I dangled like a rag doll in the arms of my vampire love.

I knew the instant my skin hit soft, supple leather that I was in the back of Jake's Rabbit; even so, my fingers were reluctant to unwind themselves from Edward's shirt, where they had managed to sneakily find a grip on the fabric.

"Bella," he murmured in my ear, "I'll be following right behind you – there's no need to panic now. You're with family and – friends." I knew I didn't imagine the slight pause when he guardedly worded 'friends'.

I would have argued with him, except for two things – he was stroking my hair right behind my ears delicately, like I was a pet cat, and I was far too weak to speak. Even taking breaths was costing me, but I knew that if I stopped Edward would panic.

Skillfully, his fingers managed to unwind mine and I heard the door close; by then, my eyes had drifted shut. It took too much strength to hold them open. Outside the confinement of the Rabbit, I heard voices talking in low tones – some kind of agreement was discussed, and then the front doors to the car opened.

"-we'll meet you back there, then," Jake's voice echoed slightly in my mind and the car, but I couldn't curl up to show my displeasure at the noise – my limbs felt leaden and heavy, holding my pinned to the leather where I was lying on my side.

The engine started at a low, strangely soothing purr; I found myself letting out a small whimper of longing for something – and wondered a second later what it was I wanted. Perhaps Edward was what I longed for – yes, that sounded perfectly plausible.

"Hey Bella," a rough voice hissed to me from the passenger seat – Embry. "You just go to sleep, 'kay? The Cullens are going to meet up with us back at Jake's house – get some rest. You need it."

In the working part of my mind, I reflected how odd it was that the two groups were working together before I was suddenly simply too tired to care anymore. Distinctly, I felt something besides my own emotions making me tired and gratitude for Jasper helped me relax more. "Righ'," I mumbled, yawning widely again.

Like it had a mind of its' own, my tail wrapped itself up around my feet and I snuggled deeper into the leather seat, finally letting go completely. Victoria couldn't get me right now, as I was safe in the car of my werewolf friends heading out from Northern California back to Forks and, most importantly, I knew Edward was right outside watching over me as I slept.

It was finally over.

* * *

_**A/N** – Sorry, Bella, it's not even close to being over. :) I still have to get to twenty-five chapters – this isn't even halfway there! I hope you liked this chapter of the story – I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it._

_Thank you for taking the time to review, again! I appreciate all the popularity this story receives! Please review again so I know how much people like it! Thanks once more!_


	10. Discussion

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_A/N – These chapters are going to start getting longer and longer, I think, if I keep thinking of things I need to squeeze in under particular songs! Please read the A/N at the bottom! Thank you!_

_Song To Listen To: 'If Everyone Cared' by Nickelback. I'm going to use a few bits of the song in the story itself – instead of just the lyrics being posted – so you'll see how I mean for it to fit in there. But I can say here that it's meant to mean something to two certain groups of 'people'.

* * *

_

'_**If Everyone Cared' by Nickelback **_

_From underneath the trees_

_We watch the sky_

_Confusing stars with satellites_

_I never dreamed that you'd be mine_

_But here we are, we're here tonight_

_Singing amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)_

_Singing amen I, I'm alive_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day that nobody died_

_I'm singing a, amen I, amen I, I'm alive_

_I'm singing a, amen I, amen I, I'm alive_

_And in the air the fireflies_

_Our only light in paradise_

_To show the world_

_They were wrong_

_And teach them all to sing along_

_I'm singing amen I, I'm alive_

_Singing amen, I, I'm alive_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day that nobody died_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day that nobody died_

_That nobody died_

_And as we lie beneath the stars_

_We realize how small we are_

_If they could love like you and me_

_Imagine what the world could be_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day that nobody died_

_If everyone cared and nobody cried_

_If everyone loved and nobody lied_

_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride_

_Then we'd see the day that nobody died_

_We'd see the day, we'd see the day when nobody died_

_We'd see the day, we'd see the day when nobody died_

_We'd see the day, we'd see the day when nobody died

* * *

_

**_Curse_ **

**Discussion**

Slowly, as though through molasses – or maybe honey – I pulled myself out of the engulfing darkness of sleep. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could swear that I heard voices talking around me. I was almost positive that something was stroking my head, right between my ears.

It felt wonderful; small ripples of pure joy at the feeling of being petted like a cat trickled down my spine. It was absolute heaven – and then the chattering around me stopped.

It was like someone had flipped a switch in my mind the instant I heard none of the talking I had been getting used to. Even though my eyes remained closed, my frame stiffened tightly like a coiled wire.

Flashes of my memory spun dizzily in my head – running behind Victoria, the bite, the amulet, her wild eyes, flame hair and ruby eyes, my own face in the mirror, Edward from behind my outstretched claws…

With a gasp of pure panic, I bolted upright from where I lay on a soft, old couch. Icy arms wrapped themselves around me and I stopped struggling the second I caught their scent in my nose.

It took very little for me to whip my head around and see Edward's concerned face – devastation hidden in the depths of his dark, dark eyes – from over my shoulder. Less than a second later, my arms were wrapped around him in a tight hug.

"Edward," I breathed softly, my tail swishing to show my relief in seeing him once more. My face was carefully resting on top of his shoulder, lips close to his ear. I melted into his embrace as the hesitance drifted from his arms and they clenched tightly around me, holding me close as he dared.

"Bella." Simple and short. But that one word carried so much relief that I was all right and alive that it was all I could do to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Of course, it was venom – not tears – but the feeling was there.

It seemed like an eternity before I slowly, slowly pulled myself back from his grip and backed up the tiniest bit to look at his face. As I did, my lungs caught the whiff of something that I had missed before. Burnt wood and coals, mixing with wind blowing off of a glacier – my eyes darted around the room, and I recognized it instantly.

We were standing in Billy's house.

Turning my head to the side, I saw what I had begun to suspect the instant the scent hit my nose in passing. The Quileute pack was refusing to sit down, although their usually hostile expressions seemed calmly void of anything at the moment.

The Cullen family had taken seats around where Edward and I stood, holding hands even though our arms were no longer wrapped tightly around each other. They, too, seemed to be completely in control and unnaturally calm.

My heart fell just seeing it, even though they looked happy enough to see me. This wasn't a long-term arrangement that they had set up to work together – this was a one-time only compromise before we pretend this never happened deal.

They teamed up to get me back – and now I was. Whatever deal they had come up with was now null and void, just long enough for the Cullens to head back to their land – or rather, far from Forks – and the pack would resume defending themselves again.

That didn't mean I had to like it, but I decided that now might not be the best time to deal with it. Instead, I looked between Sam and Carlisle, uncertain about how to proceed in this situation. Should I ask about what had happened, or hold off until later?

The two leaders took charge before I opened my mouth. Sam stepped forward and spoke crisply. "Your attack was on our land – but she got through the Cullens land before getting into the water. From there, we think she swam up to the beach and got you there."

Gesturing to the group in general, he continued, "We decided that it was in our common interests for the time being to deal with the red-haired one together in getting you back. If there was a small chance you were still human, we were responsible for bringing you back."

Carlisle picked up gently, "And if you had been changed as we thought it was more probable that you had been – due to the descriptions of the pack – then it was our task to deal with Victoria."

"Regardless," Sam nodded slightly to Carlisle, "we still would have gone after you. You were a small part of the family for a short time." He looked over me critically and I shifted uncomfortably; Edward placed a hand gently on my back. "It seems she did do something to you, just…not what we expected."

Dryly, I muttered, "Well, I didn't expect it either. Funny how that happens." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake smile slightly before his faced lapsed again into rigid self-control.

Carlisle gently told me, "The pack has been kind enough to decide we can discuss the technicalities of your change once you woke up; we were all reluctant to leave you alone, especially so shortly after this event – it seems we were right that someone should be with you."

I smiled sheepishly and tried my best to keep a smug smile from my face when no blush appeared. But then I realized that the positions of my family and pack were no longer relaxed – rather, the Cullens had tensed moments before the pack responded.

I tried to figure out what was going on before Edward's hands clasped firmly around my arms, stiffly holding me back – from what? Sam took two steps to the right – and then I saw Emily framed by the kitchen doorway.

Relief swept through me as I saw that they thought I would be thirsty; the only problem was, they didn't seem to notice that I wasn't going to attack Emily. "Edward…why are you holding my arms like that?" I questioned when he wouldn't let go after a gentle tug away from him.

Couldn't Jasper sense that I wasn't going to attack her? But, no – he caught emotions, not hunger pangs that a vampire suffered from around blood. Rolling my eyes in his face, I grumpily attempted crossing my arms. "I'm not going to jump her, you know."

"Why not?" Sam asked, eying me carefully. But even he could see that I wasn't being overcome with my thirst for blood, even though I was a newborn vampire. "Shouldn't you be intensely thirsty right now?"

"I repeat; do I look like a normal vampire to you?" For emphasis, I swished my tail angrily behind my back, higher up in the air – he could see it over my shoulder. "Besides, Victoria already tested me with the blood thing."

"Tested you?" I caught the extremely light undertone in Edward's voice that suggested anger starting to blossom.

"Yes – she waved an open vial of human blood at me," I wrinkled my nose in distaste before my expressions softened a bit. "But the container of animal blood…I pretty much decimated the plastic, but I inhaled that one faster than she could defend herself."

As an afterthought, I added, "I think it was from a deer – it tasted light, springy somehow. Like the deer was running happily before she murdered it."

If I had still been able to, my cheeks would have been bright red as every single person in the room stared at me for a long minute. Ducking my head, I mumbled, "Um, I mean…I don't think I'm going to attack Emily…"

Edward's lips brushed against my hair lightly before he said, "I think it might be best if you headed outside now to get some clear air, Bella. No doubt all the scents in this room are making your senses overload."

Nodding without even thinking about it, I moved toward the kitchen door where Sam was letting Emily stretch out one hand to me. My small, pale hand with sharp, dagger-like nails delicately floated into hers as I purposefully moved much slower than I thought I could.

It was harder than I thought it would be to slow my movements so much; I knew that I was going slow even by human standards, but I was taking no chances. Especially not here and now: I might be immune to the 'appealing' scent, but the Cullens – least of all Jasper – were not.

Emily carefully led me out the door and through the kitchen before I paused – and my mind caught up with it all. I had just left the pack and my family alone in a room together – to discuss what the treaty would say about me being what I was now.

Having half a mind to turn back, I snapped out of the middle of my turn to go back to the softly murmuring voices when Emily's cut through it all. "Bella," she said in a no-nonsense voice. "You are not getting into that argument."

It was surprising how a wave of anger rose up in me. "Say what?" I squawked as I tugged her back to the other side of the kitchen; on the other side of the living room door, the room had gone oddly quiet.

"Bella," she repeated, planting her feet firmly. Both of us knew that I could throw her through the wall if I wanted to – which I didn't. Her show of authority was merely a show – if I didn't listen to her. "Be reasonable. You know that you can't go throw yourself into an argument right now."

Of course, I understood what she really wanted: for things to stay as they were, in the hopes that they wouldn't get out of hand. She wanted her pack – and her new husband – to stay safe. I wanted that for her, too, but I wanted my family to be alive as well.

And both of them had better chances if I kept myself from barging right back in.

With a groan, I stomped – lightly – over the linoleum flooring and out the door, dragging Emily behind me. She hummed quietly behind me, a tune to a song that sounded familiar; I couldn't quite place its name.

The moon was high in the sky still, but across the horizon of the treetops, there were the faint, glimmering beginnings of dawn. I silently let Emily retake the lead, and she walked along a clearly marked path to a small stand of trees a little ways off from the house.

It was a small little grove, with a large tree turned on its' side and nestled right up next to the still-standing mate that had been planted right alongside it. Emily took a careful seat, still humming to herself – it sounded more like a faint murmur to my ears than a hum.

For some reason, I looked carefully at the tree branch solidly sticking out about shoulder-level to Emily and beside her, though a bit further back. Without a second thought, I quietly leapt up onto it with a small crunch of impacted wood.

Crouching carefully, barefoot and with my tail swishing pleasantly behind me, I grasped the branch with my bare hands in front of my feet and balanced perfectly upon the rough bark. Emily looked up at me without a hint of surprise on her face before smiling gently and turning her head back to the forest outside of our small seating placement.

Through the trees ahead of us, the sun struck through the trunks of trees – when it got to be later, then the sunlight would bounce off the canopy. For the moment, however, it was low enough in the sky to peer through the sides from where the cliff edge hung and offered no block to the light.

We stayed still and sitting for a long time as the faded dark blue of the sky became tinged with yellow and grew brighter by the minute – it would be a sunny day today. After a time, I realized that I could hear Emily's whisper-soft voice singing just under her breath.

"…_Our only light in paradise…to show the world…they were wrong…and teach them all to sing along…_"

I tried to remember what that song was from – I had heard it somewhere before. And after a moment, I remembered and added my voice to hers, softly singing the line I caught up on after finding the information I sought.

"…_If everyone shared and swallowed their pride…then we'd see the day that nobody died_…"

She turned her face up to me, the scars thrown into sharp relief by the rising sun's dark red gleam. Line by line, we traded off and let our voices rise louder by each one.

"_And as we lie beneath the stars –."_

"_We realize how small we are –." _

"_If they could love like you and me –."_

_"Imagine what the world could be."_

We halted for a brief moment and looked back out to the sunrise to finish the lines together; the brilliant red and gold glowed through the trees, hitting our faces. My skin began shimmering like diamonds were embedded in it and Emily's reddish Quileute skin seemed to be on fire.

"_If everyone cared and nobody cried…if everyone loved and nobody lied…if everyone shared and swallowed their pride…then we'd see the day that nobody died_…"

I sang more stanza of it, throwing my voice out loud and clear as Emily took a shadowing trill through notes, singing them crisply to the morning air.

"_If everyone cared and nobody cried…if everyone loved and nobody lied…if everyone shared and swallowed their pride…then we'd see the day that nobody died_…"

It was all I could do not to start laughing; as it was, I smiled so widely that I think my teeth showed. She didn't mind, however, and instead sighed, "That was wonderful. I wish that we could have sung more before…but I don't know what they're going to decide…"

My ears pricked up a split second before a voice murmured, "Well, it's lucky for you that we have decided on something – and lucky we got your message in that song before we picked something different."

* * *

_A/N – Like I told you, these chapters are most likely going to begin to increase in length. I hope that you liked how I incorporated the song into this – I just had the vision of the two of them sitting there and singing while the rising sun reflected off of a cat-like Bella perched on a branch beside calm, serene Emily. I hope you saw my vision, too._

_Also, a quick note: Today, March 20th, is my birthday! And this was one of your party favors! For you see, I decided to work my but off all week long before this day and post something for each and every one of my stories today! _

_Yes, that's right, EVERYTHING I have written has been updated. That includes, for all you Twilight fans of mine, 'Sunrise', 'Story of my Life' and 'Darkest Before Dawn' as well as a one-shot for 'Snapshots of Time'. For Maximum Ride, that means 'Savin' Me' and for Harry Potter, that means 'Desecration Smile' and 'Karaoke Countdown'! I hope you check them all out:)_


	11. Farewell

**_Disclaimer_**_: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

**_A/N_**_ – Sorry this took so long to type up for you! I hope you'll like this chapter, and I'm glad that so many of you liked the last one! _

**_Song To Listen To:_**_ 'It Ends Tonight' by the All-American Rejects. This song just plain speaks of all the pain and everything. It's saying 'it ends tonight' being that the night is what's being ended; for Bella, this means the darkness that Victoria was imposing on her with the amulet, and it also signifies the family leaving. :) Read and enjoy!_

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_**'It Ends Tonight' by the All- American Rejects**_

_Your subtleties, they strangle me; I can't explain myself at all. _

_And all the wants, and all the needs; all I don't want to need at all. _

_The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving; maybe it's best you leave me alone. _

_A weight is lifted on this evening I give the final blow. _

_When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight. _

_A falling star, least I fall alone; I can't explain what you can't explain. _

_You're finding things that you didn't know; I look at you with such disdain _

_The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving; maybe it's best you leave me alone. _

_A weight is lifted on this evening I give the final blow. _

_When darkness turns to light it ends tonight, it ends tonight. _

_Just a little insight won't make this right it's too late to fight _

_It ends tonight; it ends tonight. _

_Now I'm on my own side, it's better than being on your side _

_It's my fault when you're blind; it's better that I see it through your eyes _

_All these thoughts locked inside; now you're the first to know _

_When darkness turns to light it ends tonight, it ends tonight. _

_Just a little insight won't make this right it's too late to fight _

_It ends tonight; it ends _

_When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight. _

_Just a little insight won't make this right; it's too late to fight _

_It ends tonight; it ends tonight. _

_Tonight; insight; when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight._

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**_Curse_ **

**Farewell**

My head whipped around to glance over my shoulder, but I had already known who was standing there. Beyond him, my family and the pack waited in the house for us to come back. They must have known where Emily and I had gone – of course, with their abilities it was all too easy to tell.

Jacob seemed caught between staring at me and keeping his eyes down on the ground. I exchanged a meaningful glance with Emily; she smiled, nodded, and stood to head back into the house.

"I'll see you in there, Bella," she murmured gently as she slung an arm around me in a quick hug. She knew that my family would know what was happening between Jake and I out here with Edward's abilities.

I wondered for a minute if Edward had been mad that Jake had been the one sent out here to fetch us. Knowing my boyfriend, I wouldn't put it past him to be a tad bit angry about that particular arrangement.

But at least now he was secure in the knowledge that I was immortal, unlike Jake and the werewolf pack. Even if Jake still wanted me like he had before, there was nothing he could do now to gain me back – not that he had ever really had me.

There was only ever going to be one man that I loved, and he was standing inside the house with cold marble skin, topaz eyes and untidy bronze hair. He was also, I noted with a twinge of annoyance, staring out the window towards where I sat – still perched on the tree branch.

Realizing this, I twisted around and slid out of the tree with graceful ease. Jake stayed a careful distance away from me – likely due to the fact that he, too, knew that Edward's watchful eyes were fixed on the both of us.

"I'd never be able to get used to that," he commented lightly, staring out over the ocean. I lean-sat against the bent-over tree trunk, facing the house but turning my head to stare at the profile of his face. "That grace you have – I'll always remember you as clumsy, short little Bella Swan."

That was when I realized that I had grown taller. Not much in comparison to Jake, but I recalled how I had hugged Edward; the top of my head fit just under his chin, how close he had held me to him showing that clearly.

It saddened me; it would have been better if Jake had simply remembered me as the 'me' I had been, the short klutz of a girl that had become his best friend. Now, he would remember until his dying day what had happened to me, and how I looked after that.

I suppose it would have to be incredibly hard to forget a vampire with cat ears and a tail. Especially if you're a werewolf; however, that wasn't what was really bothering him. He wasn't sad over the thought of how he would forever remember me.

He and I were feeling the pain of losing one another. Jake had been there for me when I needed him; now, I couldn't stay here. I had to leave with my family, because there wasn't any other choice.

"The grace will take some getting used to," I answered neutrally. "I suppose I'll have to get used to it before ever coming back. That should only take just so long, long enough for me to make a mess of things when I lapse into klutzdom again."

He let out a harsh, short laugh; it was filled with that pain, that harshness that he should never have to go through. Never – and yet he was, and had, encountered so much already. He was a werewolf – that had to be as hard a job and responsibility as being a vampire.

The whole supernatural-creature business was a mess to deal with; I didn't want any of it. I didn't want him or I to have to be involved in this; but it was too late already for us in more reasons that our changes.

The minute I had seen Edward Cullen I was lost down the path that I was now walking on. Back then; I didn't know what the man that stood watching me from inside a house would mean to me. Now I did, and I was completely torn between love and…love.

I loved Forks. If you had told me that when I was on the plane up here, I would have laughed at the mere idea that I could ever enjoy being in this tiny, insignificant town. But now I saw; I saw it all.

Jacob Black had become my best friend in the entire world, and I would never forget what he meant to me. Neither of us would. He gave me a sad glance and murmured, "You might come back one day, but I won't be here, Bella."

"What happened to optimism? What happened to hope? Why are you supernatural people always so unbelievably negative?" I wondered out loud, growing angry unreasonably for the truth he was speaking.

"That's just what life does to you," he answered lightly before he turned his back on the sunset. I would have scoffed at the symbolism of the action until he began talking once more. "Our groups made the decision."

It took me a moment to realize what he meant. "Oh…so, what's the verdict?" I began picking at the tree with my finger, drawing a nonsense image into the bark with my sharp nails.

Jake's eyes lightened and his face smoothed out to a creaseless mask. "You and your – family, are free to leave the boundaries of this place as quickly as possible. You won't be able to hang around Forks – the town already thinks the Cullens left once Edward had a…shall we say, nervous breakdown?"

From the look in his smug eyes and the way I saw Edward's fists clench at the window, I knew that he would have wanted to tell me that himself. "So Charlie's safe?" I moved the topic of conversation towards safer – if more painful – grounds; but the statement was lodged into my memory to pull back out later.

"Yes; he was in full-blown panic mode for a while. But it's been two weeks, Bells; he hasn't given up the search, and he doesn't want to stop. We just told him that you had said you would be waiting around the beach for a while longer and we had left, thinking you would be safe."

The look on his face told me clearly he wasn't saying something more. "What did they find there?"

I hit the nail right on the head; he grimaced, but answered honestly. "Blood on the sand near your truck. Our paw prints messed up the sand around you – we clean forgot to clean up the area because we wanted to find you before she did anything to hurt you. They did DNA testing and your blood matched, of course. So, Charlie added together the paw prints and the wolves that had been seen around Forks –."

"And came up with the conclusion that the 'giant beasts' had taken me," I finished his sentence for him, shaking my head. "Well, that's not good for your pack at all. Will you guys be all right?"

"Yeah, we'll be fine," Jake half-smiled down at me. "We're pretty sure Victoria, wherever she is, will follow you guys out of Forks. There's no sign of her around here yet, so that's why your group wants to get out of here as fast as possible."

"So we're leaving now," I concluded, standing up with ease. Jake nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets and shifting his shoulders underneath the grease-stained shirt that he wore almost constantly.

I stared at him, memorizing him as well as I could. This would be the last time I saw him, I knew it as well as he did. There was simply no way that Jake would be alive if I ever came back through Forks.

He memorized my face the way I did his, just looking at me softly with his large eyes. It was then that I abruptly realized that he wasn't looking at me the same way he had before Edward came back – he was looking at me like he did other girls that were his friends. Just friends.

"Best friends forever?" I offered weakly, shrugging my shoulders half-heartedly and uncertainly. I wanted to remain friends – but how could we? I was a vampire now, and not even just a vampire but also some vamp-cat …thing. He was a werewolf.

And how could you be friends with someone who you would never see again? But nevertheless, he smiled back gently and replied, "I'll keep my promise, Bella. I told you I always would."

"Well, it will be hard not to keep your promise – unless you decided to go hunt down my family, of course." It wasn't just a joke; it was a warning. I knew that no matter what had transpired over the past few weeks between the two groups, there would always be hard feelings between the two.

"I'm a werewolf, not a moron," he quipped, taking large but slow steps as I pushed off the tree and headed back towards his house.

"Some would say differently," I shot back, knowing it was what Edward would have said. Really, it came out more as a reflex than anything else; but Jake took it in stride and laughed.

"Of course some would," he replied. "There are smart and stupid in everything."

We had reached the door and he pulled it open as I answered, "Such philosophical thoughts from one so young."

He laughed a bit too hard and as he closed the door, it swung through the doorjamb with a loud gunshot crack and to the outside of the house. Instantly, Edward was at my side – of course – and Jake let out a harsh curse. "Jake, language!" I admonished, stifling a smirk.

Emmett didn't bother to hold back a loud guffaw when he saw what had happened. Jake scowled at him angrily and began trying to figure out the door. "Maybe you shouldn't touch door handles anymore – it seems like you can't handle the simple concept," I teased.

"I understand door handles just fine, Bella," he snapped when the door refused to swing back in. Finally, he gave up. "I'll fix it later – Billy might know what to do."

"Billy regularly breaks doors by underestimating his own strength?" I asked innocently. He scowled and stuck his tongue out at me – a highly juvenile act that I gladly returned.

For a few minutes, it had seemed like there was nothing extra going on about me in my life. For a few moments, Jake and I were best friends once more and happily joking and teasing as if there was all the time in the world. Of course, that wasn't the case at all.

Billy wheeled into the room after a few seconds had passed between the lighthearted teasing Jake and I had displayed for both groups. "Charlie's coming," he said gruffly, and we knew instantly that time was up. "He'll be here in a few minutes – he called on his cell in the cruiser."

I had no time to say goodbye to everyone. Simply, I gave Edward a quick squeeze of the hand before I was at Emily's side. "Congratulations, Emily, I hope your life goes as well as it possibly can; have a nice honeymoon, enjoy yourself, you've been a great friend."

My words almost went too fast for her to hear but she caught it all. Wrapping her arms around my neck, much to my surprise, she replied, "Thank you, I hope so too, I certainly will, you should as well, and I will never forget you."

Then I went to Jake, gave him a quick hug and we pulled away from each other quickly. Edward stayed in place, knowing that I needed to just say goodbye. There was nothing he could do to stop me, anyway, even if he was becoming a tad bit jealous as I smiled up at my best friend shakily.

"Take care of yourself, Bells." That was his goodbye. And there was nothing I had to say in reply. Instead, I squeezed his hands gently before I nodded to each of the rest of the pack.

"Be safe," I whispered before running to Edward's side. He wrapped an arm around my waist and Carlisle stepped forward, conveying the same sentiment to Sam. The werewolf pack leader nodded once to the father of us vampires, and they shook hands silently.

In single file, our family ran out of the house through the broken back door. Carlisle and Esme led the way, followed by Rosalie and Emmett. Jasper and Alice went after them, and then finally Edward took my hand and glanced down at me.

"Do you think you can run?" he asked, patiently waiting for me to answer. I shot one last glance at everyone waiting for us to leave, standing solemnly around the table in the kitchen. No one's eyes faulted me, or Edward – like an unspoken truce had been made.

"Yes," I replied, tearing my eyes away from theirs and straight to his. At peace with myself, with the fact that they were letting us go off their land freely, I took Edward's hand an let him guide me out of the house and into the lush green forest of La Push – headed towards the Cullen house in Forks.

I glanced back only once, just before we disappeared into the copse of trees in the front yard of the house. Headlights were just barely making their way around the curve of the road; not nearly close enough to touch the ground our feet brushed as we flew over the landscape.

I didn't look back after that.

* * *

The Cullen's house was empty where it stood. Edward told me a fuller story while we ran, although he was careful not to mention anything negative towards Jacob; he simply said he would have preferred to tell me himself what had transpired in order for them to 'leave' Forks after I had been taken. 

First, of course, my 'disappearance' had caused Charlie much undue stress and anger. It was internally directed at Edward, although my father never said anything out loud to him. There had been a town-wide search in the Quileute land for me – the pack had allowed the Cullens to come as well.

That first week, the pack and Cullen family was able to conduct their searching for me while under the pretense of looking for me in the forest. There was nothing there, of course, and the combined forces of both supernatural groups eventually branched further and further away, first further north before sweeping in a semicircle.

They had reached the southern parts of Washington by the third day I was gone – but then Alice had a vision. She didn't bother staying around, knowing that Edward heard her and would tell both groups were she was headed.

She had seen Victoria and I through the perspective of that woman we had passed on our way out of the hotel. Of course, it was much further in the future than she thought and halfway towards the hotel – where I was trapped, I realized – she had seen a change in the course the woman took.

Now, instead of seeing my face, the lady had kept her eyes on the ground, the result of a scar she had acquired on her face from a small accident making her self-conscious, most likely. She hadn't seen either of our faces, and so Alice now couldn't find where we were.

Since the woman wouldn't see us, she wouldn't see which direction we headed out of the building. Her eyes would have followed us otherwise, but due to her discomfort with her features, she kept her eyes on the ground. Alice couldn't ask her where we had gone – she wouldn't know.

But she had been gone for a whole day. Her disappearance was highly suspicious – the family had no choice but to say they thought she would be there at the gathering after she dropped off something at their home; Alice luckily saw it in a vision and got only close enough to think to Edward that they had to pretend she, too, was missing.

The outcome would have been a deep pit of trouble for the pack if Alice came back instead of faking her death at the hands of some terrifying gigantic wolves. As it were, the town and Quileutes would be traveling in pairs for a long time, and living in fear for a short while. But no one would be caught off guard of the danger if Victoria came back.

Since Alice was presumed 'taken' by the monster wolves that plagued the town, the Cullen family now had the perfect cover for leaving. Jasper was, of course, distraught and the whole family was now mourning the loss of their daughter and sister.

Charlie now had no doubt that Edward was innocent of anything that would possibly harm one of his family. There was nothing anyone could do in regards to searching – Carlisle let himself slip out of work and by the first day of the second week, announced that they would be moving in two weeks' time.

Until then, they had 'helped search' for my body – instead of searching, of course, they were still attempting to find Victoria's trail. There was nothing they could find on land and Edward had long ago lost my scent to the ocean – now it was a memory in his head, one that he couldn't convey through speech.

He and Jared had gone off down the coastline that day and by pure chance, came across a spit of land that Victoria must have dragged me up to before walking a bit and shoving us both back in the water. As he said, even a vampire can't swim forever while carrying a transforming human.

They had gone too far to make it back in time to tell the others – Edward didn't want to leave the spot, in fear of 'losing' me again – in a sense, he would if he left and couldn't find this scent again. So Jared had taken off, transformed, to get back in range of the pack and tell them the discovery.

Of course, since Edward wasn't there in Forks at dawn for the search party the Cullens were once more forced to say that one of their family went missing. Their excuse was that he had been heading towards Charlie's house – it had, in fact, become routine for him to pick up the Chief of Police in the morning.

Charlie had come up in his cruiser, concerned about why Edward wouldn't have shown up that morning – Alice picked it up quickly despite the fact that the pack hadn't had time to tell the Cullens yet. She replied in puzzlement that Edward had gone to Charlie's house that morning.

Emmett had enough time to run home and pull Edward's precious car out of the garage, planting it midway between the two houses on a deserted, plain forest road. Jake and Embry had transformed to trash it – Edward scowled as he told me, obviously thinking that they must have had a bit too much fun decimating his precious car.

That had been the third horror the Cullen family of Forks had to face – the search party had convened on the spot around the wrecked car. That was the last day the Cullens were seen in Forks, with the pack being their hosts in La Push unbeknownst to the rest of the town.

Forks thought that after the loss of two family members in the space of three days, it was hardly unreasonable that the Cullens had left by the middle of the second week of my disappearance.

Embry and Jasper had been on a reconnaissance mission about one hundred miles past the point where Victoria had come ashore for a few minutes to rest. They had run across our combined scents, and then lost hers as mine trailed on. The rest I told him and my family as we walked into the house I had come to know as home.

I told him about how she controlled me. About how she manipulated my movements, kept me in the hotel room, brought me bottles of blood from victims she found. About how she had been able to make me transform and now I had the ability myself. About how Jasper and Embry had found me and I was unable to control myself. About how Jasper's gift had broken into the 'mind' wall she set around my body.

By the time I had told it all, we were grouped in the dining room in the silent, dark house. No lights were on in inside, as we didn't want anyone to know that we weren't actually back in Forks. But since they were vampires and didn't need light to see, and I had cat pupils, it was perfectly fine.

I fell silent, staring at the tabletop and tracing delicately with my fingers over the wood. The last time I had been in this room was for the Vote; how silly that seemed now that I had gotten my wish and was trying to figure myself out without saying anything to my family.

Edward had pulled me to sit on his lap when I had difficulty speaking during the whole long thing, and I gratefully curled into his chest with his strong, comforting arms holding me tight.

Jasper and Alice sat towards my right; Emmett and Rosalie, my left; Esme and Carlisle had stood at the other foot of the table as my love and I, listening intently and thinking about what we could do about our current situation.

Finally, Edward kissed my forehead and reluctantly slipped me off of his lap as he stood. I didn't mind all that much; instead of saying anything, I let my arm wrap around his waist. My tail seemed to have a mind of its own, however, and it twisted around the same arm before it was fully around him.

Ignoring it, I listened to what the family seemed to have decided together. Carlisle nodded towards the other couples and they left the room quietly, heading up the stairs. Esme followed them out while only Carlisle, Edward and I stayed in the dining room.

Carlisle turned to me. "We already decided that our next destination was to be across the country, this time in New York. Specifically, New York City: given your …'ability', shall we call it; you won't have trouble there. Edward can tell you more later, if you wish – for right now, you can go up with him to finish his own packing. We leave when the sun rises tomorrow morning."

I smiled shyly to him. "All right. Thank you, Carlisle – for everything."

He smiled back with a touch of fatherly tenderness. "You're part of the family now, Bella; there wasn't anything else I would have done differently. Now, both of you go up there and spend some time together before we have to leave. We can hunt before heading toward the airport – ours is a night flight."

Edward slid his arm around my waist and began pulling me up the stairs, nodding to Carlisle once before the vampire doctor turned around and ran up the stairs to his office. It seemed like normal running to me; vampires could see each other running, or was he not moving all that fast?

I looked to Edward questioningly. He seemed to read my mind and told me quietly, "When you were still human, that would have been too fast for your eyes to see." Nodding, I began, tugging him toward the stairs with me.

We walked absolutely silently up the flights of stairs until we reached his room, in the furthest corner of the house from everyone else. A secluded, especially quiet place; it was a wonder I hadn't noticed that before. Edward was obviously a tad bit reclusive, what with his dark tendencies and thinking he was a monster.

His room looked exactly the same as it had the very day I left. To my surprise, there was nothing packed away and everything was a slight…mess. The rug was trampled and ruffled; the leather of the couch was jerked about in places; CD's were haphazardly flung about on the shelves, except for one part of the four-sectioned floor-to-roof cubicles. That one was arranged in precise order, not even his old random arrangement but straight alphabetically by artist.

An overpowering reek of werewolf clung to the air of the room.

Turning around to him, I saw his head duck sheepishly. "What's all this, then? I thought that you were hiding out in La Push, with the pack." I was really curious about what was going on.

He shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "My family and Sam and Billy were all focused on the point of Victoria taking you away – but the younger pack members, they were solely worried about you. After all, they had been there; they had befriended you the most, and felt responsible. And even after whatever Jacob problem there was, all of them – even Jacob – considered you a friend."

I was surprised by the lack of animosity in his voice, but also curious. "So you all bonded over me missing?"

"I'm not exactly proud of that fact of it," he sighed. "Vampires and werewolves have a natural animosity. However, considering that we were working together, I felt it acceptable to…befriend them. They came here willingly, much to my surprise, after I invited them to discuss what we could do."

"Why would you need to do that?" I sat down on the couch as he paced the room in front of me.

"My family and their two leaders – they brainstormed, too, while we were searching. But they didn't have solid plans; they didn't know what Victoria might be doing to you. We had no clue, either, but they weren't truly asking us many questions."

"Oh?" I arched my eyebrow; there had been something in his tone that drew my attention. "Why is it that they wouldn't ask any of you boys?"

"I believe that they deemed us a bit…close to the matter, since it was you who was missing." He glanced at me quickly before turning his head away. "Also, we all may have…reacted to your disappearance…a bit less than in control."

Since I didn't press him, he continued without my propulsion. "I may have been rather angry, and Jacob transformed a few times after he had gotten himself into control again. Paul did no better than he; in fact, all of them had a little bit of control issues, but no one was harmed and everyone managed to cool off quickly after a few…hours…"

"How entertaining," I rolled my eyes. "That must have been fun. No wonder the 'adults' didn't trust you boys."

"Yes, well…after that, we deserved it." Edward sighed once more. "We met here to discuss what we could do – of course, everyone kept getting sidetracked, even I, and it became like a strange sleepover of teenage boys rather than a meeting. I was impressed by their persistency in staying awake, however; they obviously still didn't feel safe enough to collapse into sleep quickly."

"They did fall asleep, though?" I quirked an eyebrow, amused as he sheepishly smirked.

"Of course they fell asleep; they were werewolves, after all. It just took until two in the morning. I called my family from my cell to tell them that we would be there for the afternoon search party – it was going to be very bad weather that morning, which was rather lucky for us."

"Lucky, indeed. I certainly hope nothing happened to them," I gave him a look. He smiled gently.

"No, they were perfectly fine. As soon as Jacob lapsed into sleep – his head was hanging over the back of the couch, a rather uncomfortable position," he let a cruel smirk out of his mouth; I hit him. "Sorry. No, I spent eight or so hours arranging and re-arranging that shelf."

He gestured to the immaculately organized row of CD's stacked precariously perfectly. I shook my head. "So, what happened when they woke up?"

Edward smiled at a far-off memory. "Embry was the last to awaken; the others before him made hardly any noise, but I caught enough sounds to know that they had sat up and were just watching me. He asked if I had slept at all that night."

"Oh, lovely," I rolled my eyes.

"I know. I turned and replied that I couldn't sleep, but he was a very loud snorer and I would have woken up immediately had I been able to sleep. Jacob made a comment about how I hadn't attacked them; I informed him that werewolf blood tastes disgusting and if he had any common sense, he'd realize that there were some perfectly good deer outside at that moment which would taste infinitely better."

"Oh, deer do taste good," I commented lightly, gazing absently out the window. "That's all I've had; that's all she brought back for me. Never anything new; always deer: it was a good thing I liked the taste of it."

My words brought silence to our little corner of home; I looked back to Edward to see his eyes pained and flicking over me – from my ears and nails to my tail and up to my eyes.

Lifting my hands, I whispered, "Don't, Edward. There's nothing we could have done to stop this; I know you, and I know that this is not your fault or your responsibility to take on. The amulets concealed her, and then me from Alice's powers. Please, don't do this now."

He leapt to sit beside me on the couch – I actually saw him move to my side, although it was a bit fast and my mind had to catch up with my eyes. "You don't wish to talk right now?" he asked, lifting one of my hands up and pressing it to his cheek.

"Not yet," I whispered, leaning closer to him. "I'm not ready yet. I don't know when I will be, though." The horror of thinking I would kill Edward was slow to fade; I didn't think it would actually ever go away. My body being under another's control was something else that would never leave my mind.

It wasn't truly traumatic, but it was enough that, as Edward slid his arms up to my shoulders, I froze for an instant. Even though it was what I desperately wanted, I was still afraid of something.

He didn't press me for anything. Instead, moving so slowly I thought that he was moving through molasses, he pulled me towards him. Gently and carefully, I found myself lying on top of him, snuggled close to his chest and his hand rhythmically stroked through my hair.

"Thank you." My whisper was received with the knowledge that it wasn't just for him being here now, but for him finding me, helping me back, and for everything else he had done over the course of time for me. Just for me.

"I'll always be here for you, Bella," he whispered; thumb brushing one strand of hair behind my ear. I believed him, completely trusting his words, and knowing that I would never give him up for anything.

* * *

In the morning, the sun rose behind heavy cloud cover. We only knew that it was time to leave when we heard others moving down the hall. I stood up while Edward grabbed the bags that we had packed that night, leaving the sheet over the black leather couch undisturbed. 

We had stayed in place for a long time, but eventually had begun sorting through the room to find what was needed and what was not. While sorting, we talked and made a few personal decisions.

First off, I had not wanted to be alone, and he was nowhere near willing to give up any time with me. So we reached a mutual decision that we wanted to share his room when we reached New York.

The second thing we discussed was that we would be getting married before anything…more than kissing happened. It was rather embarrassing for me, and my tail swished madly through the conversation, but there wasn't much I could do to stop it since I could no longer blush.

But Edward made it less awful by reacting seriously to everything I told him about fears and basic insecurities. And he admitted that, as hard as control was and he was still 'a man' to quote that conversation on the first night he stayed at my house, there was a part of him that wanted to be old-fashioned about it.

A part of me – the one that was anxious and every bit full of teenage hormones – didn't want to hold off until marriage now that I had waited through a hellfire to be an equal to him. And the other part of me rejoiced with a bright, explosive celebration that he was old-fashioned and stuck in the Stone Age about it.

Of course, this all led up to the third thing that was discussed as we finished packing away the remainder of his CD's and clothing. That, of course, was getting married.

I still remembered his ultimatum, and reminded him that it was no longer necessary. He asked me if I would consider it now that we had all the time in the world to go forth with it.

But it brought up those issues I hadn't talked about with him. The main issue being that which I had not clue I even felt until I did some deep soul-searching to pass my time while in Victoria's clutches.

Renee and Charlie had been married at early age – and look how that turned out. I was terrified of something like that happening to both of us. And with the newfound confidence in myself at being a strong vampire-cat thing, I managed to convey what I felt to Edward without being able to say exactly what I felt.

And it was a wonderful thing that he understood, almost instantly, what I was trying to say. It took nothing out of me to convey everything I needed to tell him, and he understood what I was saying without any explanations. A level beyond comprehension drove him to understand.

He sympathized completely, and I knew that what happened to my parents could never happen to me. Because Edward and I – we had gone through so much. Together and separately: though at the time 'separate' broke my heart, now I could see that I was stronger for it.

With things set so right between us, there was no hesitation as I pulled on some clothing Alice had bought long ago for me – a button-up collared shirt and nicely fitting jeans – and followed Edward out of the house.

I was confident as I let myself hunt with my family at my sides, and as we raced together through the forest and heading towards the airport much further down the coast, nearer to California than Washington, in Oregon.

A spare change of clothes was in each of our bags and we changed rapid-fire before setting out from the woods, looping around the small city and heading toward the even smaller airport.

Alice tossed me a black knit hat along with the clothes. I slipped on a nice skirt and similar-to-the-first shirt blouse with a collar once more, but this one was that perfect shade of blue that Edward loved.

He beamed at Alice before his eyes caught mine. I couldn't help but smirk back at him, knowing that he still liked this color on me for more than any other one. No one said much as we walked into the airport and eyes followed us – but there wasn't anything to say.

I wasn't even fully in a nostalgic mood as I stood beside Edward in the line to show the boarding passes and get on our plane. There was a part of me that had come to peace long before with the fact that I would be leaving Charlie behind once I decided fully that I wanted Edward.

Once the plane was loaded and getting ready to start down the runway, I looked at Edward in the seat beside me. His golden eyes locked onto mine and stayed there, watching me critically for a sign of some type of reaction to this leaving.

"I'm fine," I whispered, slipping my hand into his. "I'll be okay." And I would be; there was nothing to fear, nothing to fret about. I knew that I would have left my life behind me someday; not like this, but I knew it.

Behind me, the sun was setting; as our plane broke through the clouds, I caught a glimpse of a last beam of red light cutting across the sky before it faded. The blue was quickly growing dark and blacker by the second, but it was beautiful.

I pushed up the armrest and leaned into Edward's arms; he held me as the night passed by, and Forks slipped behind me into the distance.

* * *

_A/N – I know that this chapter was incredibly long, but I must admit that I couldn't stop writing! All of this section fit under the heading of the song, so I had to put it here! _

_I hope that you liked this chapter! I did warn you it would be a long one! I'm sorry if that annoyed you for some reason, or if all my summarizing was ticking you off. I just knew it all had to go under the title of this chapter, and if I made the summarized bits full length this chapter would be that much longer! _

_Please, review now and tell me what you think! I appreciate all the support I have received for this story so far and I hope you'll all keep reading any enjoying! _


	12. Overview

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer._

_**A/N –**__ I'm glad that so many of you people like this story! I've been awful about updating, I know, and I'm sorry about that. I don't think anyone ever updates regularly and if they do, I haven't read one of those stories. :) I'll let you get on to the chapter now! _

_**Song To Listen To**__: "The Long Way Around" by the Dixie Chicks. For this, I translated to song to talking about how there's still such a long way to go for Bella to be healed. I also took a long out of the song – "it's been two long years now" – to start this chapter. _

* * *

**_"The Long Way Around" by the Dixie Chicks_**

_My friends from high school married their high school boyfriends_

_Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes where their parents live_

_But I, I could never follow: no I, I could never follow_

_I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling: lived like a gypsy_

_Six strong hands on the steering wheel: I've been a long time gone now_

_Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down, but I've always found my way somehow_

_By taking the long way, taking the long way around_

_Taking the long way, taking the long way around_

_I met the queen of whatever: drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies_

_Moved with the shakers; wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to_

_No I, I could never follow; no I, I could never follow_

_It's been two long years now since the top of the world came crashing down_

_And I'm getting' it back on the road now, but I'm taking the long way_

_Taking the long way around: I'm taking the long way_

_Taking the long way around: the long, the long way around_

_Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself: I opened my mouth and I heard myself_

_It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself: guess I could have made it easier on myself_

_But I, I could never follow – no I, I could never follow_

_Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else; maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down_

_If you ever want to find me I can still be found taking the long way_

_Taking the long way around, taking the long way, taking the long way around_

* * *

_**Curse **_

**Overview**

* * *

When we left Forks, we headed out across the country and towards the East Coast, just like I had told the Quileute pack before my strange change. 

We made a quick pit stop to hunt before reaching our plane, which took us from Port Angeles to the much larger airport of Seattle. From there, it was a one-way trip to New York City.

I remember the plane ride. It seemed to take forever and my hand clenched Edward's tightly the whole way. My tail was uncomfortably curled behind me, squashed and tense as I tried to keep it from creeping out the back of my skirt.

No airport security stopped us and not a single person stopped to stare for any reason other than our inhuman beauty, so we were safe even as we disembarked the plane in New York. But I still had to wait until we had the rental car to let my tightly coiled tail down.

I hadn't known what to expect when Carlisle said we were headed to New York City, but I was pleasantly surprised when we drove to a rather large house on the outskirts of the smoggy city.

There were neighbors much closer than in Forks, but it was fairly obvious that this was a place for the richer end of the social scale.

Once there, we had unpacked into a nice, large brick house with three stories. The main floor was open like the previous house of theirs, but with stone flooring everywhere.

A large fireplace stood against one wall and there were hardly any windows save one across the north wall of the house, with a window seat built in.

It was compact – we were in a city – and the staircase swept up and curved, hiding the landing from the start of the stairs at the floor.

All the bedrooms were on the second level. There were doors lining a hallway, leading to rather large rooms that took up quite a bit of space. Two rooms took up one half of the house and the master bedroom held the whole other side of the long hallway.

Stairs from the second floor led up to a single third-story room. It was like an attic – there was a window seat looking out over the front steps to the house – and the ceiling was a tad bit low – Edward could stretch a hand up and touch the ceiling with ease.

But there was a small stepladder that led to the top of the house, the roof. It was like a widow's walk without the benefit of looking out over the sea.

No tall buildings surrounded us completely – they were a few blocks away. Ours was the tallest house in our little block, and no one could really look down on the roof.

Even from the skyscrapers, a person would need binoculars to see the rooftop. It was like a small safe haven to me, one that my family didn't fully understand – so it became my getaway, and Edward's.

The other three couples decided they wanted the second floor rooms – Edward and I jumped at the chance to have the attic room. It was cozy and comfortable, despite the small size.

As time went on, we began to grow into the new lifestyle we had in the city. None of us really went anywhere, and Carlisle didn't sign us up for high school.

New York was too sunny for us to go to school more than perhaps once a month, especially since there was no room for the schools to build buildings for cafeterias. Most of the schools had outdoor patios – the ones in our area, anyway – where the students ate lunch.

We were all seen as too old for school in the eyes of the city public workers and they didn't bother meeting with any of us about furthering our education.

Carlisle faked a high school diploma for Edward and he went off to medical school in the city. With the classroom being completely inside, he was safe from the sun.

For two whole years, we lived this way – Carlisle with his job at the hospital, Esme going off to decorate other houses for a living, Edward in medical school.

Jasper, too, went to college to study philosophy and Alice decided to get involved in the stock market again, to keep the family bank account in balance and on hand for anything.

Emmett, Rosalie, and I were the only ones who didn't go submerge ourselves in the human world – but the couple went off on long vacations for periods of months at a time.

I was left home by myself more often than not; unless Alice didn't check the stock market and took me shopping in all the fancy, upscale New York department stores.

It wasn't possible for me to go out and get a job or go to school, either. What with my appearance, it simply wasn't feasible for me to go into the human world until I found a way to hide my differences without the pain that had accompanied the flight.

We found time to go hunting whenever we had the chance to leave the city. In pairs or as a group, we would drive or run until we reached a forest and hunt down animals to quench our thirst.

Those times were the most fun I was able to have with my family during my long days.

For a year or so, I spent my days in abject boredom. Sure, I learned vivaciously through Edward everything he was learning in medical school when he was home, and did the same with Jasper.

I also became involved with Esme's activities and even Alice's stock market strings that she pulled. Carlisle sometimes even offered me some paperwork that I could help him complete when I was truly bored.

But most of the time, I wasted electricity by playing CD after CD in Edward's and my room. It was only after a year of this had passed that I became annoyed with my own behavior.

Edward had bought a fast computer for the term papers and things he needed to type. He was always done with them within the hour, the computer itself being the thing that slowed him down. The words simply wouldn't appear on the screen as fast as he typed them.

In my boredom, an idea popped into my head and I began a secret project that I felt I couldn't share with anyone yet. The computer was hooked up to the Internet, and so I slowly began wracking up massive Internet bills as I searched and searched the web for something, anything, about myself.

For half of another year I searched for anything about myself that I could find. I started with narrowing my searches about vampires first – there were very few sites about them that had even a molecule of fact in them.

After that, I searched for werewolf sites as well and encountered a few more sites with accurate information than there were of vampire ones. Satisfied that there was at least a little truth behind the words in some of the sites, I began my long and painful search.

The things I knew about myself were few. I knew that I was some mixture of vampire and cat. I also knew that I was attracted only to animal blood, and that I had those few distinct characteristics.

And the reason for my differences centered on some kind of amulet that had rested against my skin once upon a time.

I hadn't seen the necklace since Edward ripped it off of me after Victoria's had been destroyed. When I asked him about it, he revealed that he had saved it just in case it would still do something for me, or if I would be harmed if it weren't near me.

It didn't seem to affect me in any way, but I didn't put it on and kept it stored away just in case. I had no idea what it might do to me if I slipped it on again, and didn't want to risk finding out.

After a harrowing search through the Internet, I found that I needed to use actual books. With much planning on my part, I was able to escape the house on certain days when everyone else in my family was gone and went to the library in the city.

This worked for a few reasons. For one, Alice couldn't see me in her visions – I suspected it had something to do with my strange cat-vampire self. For another, Alice was a shopaholic – and it just so happened that the 'in' fashion of the year was perfect for my tail.

So I thought that I was safe from discovery that one morning I went off into the city after everyone else had left the house.

In that way, I was discovered nearly two months before the two-year anniversary of my change and subsequent departure from Forks.

* * *

_**A/N**__ – I know this was rather short and all, but I knew exactly what I wanted to do and everything. This chapter is kind of stretched out over two more as to what Bella is talking about here at the last line. I think you'll like it, and I certainly hope you keep reading._

_This was a bit of an overview chapter; I thought that the song just fit very well with what I wanted to write. I hope you found it all right, too. Please, review! Also, the A/N of the newest chapter in my story 'Sunrise' has some information I think you'll want to read about, but I can't type it here and if you read it there, you'll understand why. _


	13. Thoughtful

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**A/N –** I'm glad people seem to like this, but please, please review! I know that it's sometimes not what you want to do, but I really want feedback from you all so I know what I need to work on and what's good or not. Thank you! _

_**Song To Listen To:** "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. This fits Bella going off into the city on her own because she's so independent – like the song is suggesting, or sounds like – and she's happy. Of course, since you read the last chapter, you know that she gets busted. :) Enjoy! _

* * *

_**"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield**_

_I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined: I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned_

_Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window; let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find_

_Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it; release your inhibitions_

_Feel the rain on your skin! No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in_

_No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips; drench yourself in words unspoken_

_Live your life with arms wide open; today is where your book begins – the rest is still unwritten_

_I break tradition, sometimes my tries are outside the lines; we've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way_

_Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window; let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find_

_Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it; release your inhibitions_

_Feel the rain on your skin! No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in_

_No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips; drench yourself in words unspoken_

_Live your life with arms wide open; today is where your book begins_

_Feel the rain on your skin! No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in_

_No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips; drench yourself in words unspoken_

_Live your life with arms wide open; today is where your book begins – the rest is still unwritten_

_Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window; let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find_

_Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it; release your inhibitions_

_Feel the rain on your skin! No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in_

_No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips; drench yourself in words unspoken_

_Live your life with arms wide open; today is where your book begins_

_Feel the rain on your skin! No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in_

_No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips; drench yourself in words unspoken_

_Live your life with arms wide open; today is where your book begins – the rest is still unwritten_

_The rest is still unwritten; the rest is still unwritten; oh, yeah, yeah_

* * *

**_Curse _**

**Thoughtful**

* * *

"I'll see you later, Bella," Edward smiled, pressing his lips to mine gently. Thankfully, I was over the embarrassing occurrence of fainting when he kissed me – seeing as I didn't need air anymore, I couldn't faint. 

Edward got into his car, waiting patiently for Jasper and Alice to join him. He'd drop off Alice at a department store so she could start to make her rounds before taking himself and Jasper to the college they had enrolled in.

Esme and Carlisle had already left, and Emmett and Rosalie were going to be back that evening on the 5:30 flight. They had gone on another trip to Africa – I was surprised they went there so much to go hunting, but they did like it. I suppose it was all in taste – I was fine with a deer or two.

I felt like a housewife watching her family go off every day; left alone at home, there were many things I could get up to – but I had already done most of it. Being stuck inside the same house for two years would do that to a girl.

Even when Alice took me on shopping trips, I'd be stuck close to her all day. It was like being in a moving prison when we went to boutiques and department stores – I didn't want to be there and I was stuck unless I wanted to come back home and sit around doing nothing here.

Well, today that was going to be different.

I had already made several successful trips to the library by myself. No one knew how successful – I had a feeling that this time, I would find what I was looking for.

There had been many old books in the library I had made my way to – it wasn't the largest one or the most popular in the city by any means, but in fact a quiet, tucked-away bookstore.

It had taken me a long time to find it. I had at first looked in popular libraries until I decided it was too dangerous for me to be there alone, with a tail and without any idea of what I was going to do if I found anything. So I began hunting around the city until I ran across this small place.

Now, I watched as the car holding my siblings drove out of sight before I closed the door and slipped the deadbolt in place without a sound. It was becoming habitual to make as little noise as possible; my cat instincts demanded I at least try to.

It might have been some latent cat instinct; I found that whenever Edward stroked his hand through my hair I would purr, sounding more like a cat than how a vampire sounds when they make the same noise. He loved hearing me purr – and I loved the way anyone's hand stroking my hair felt.

Quickly making my way up the stairs to Edward's and my third-floor room, I ducked into the well-stocked closest Alice had provided for me, free of charge. I sorted my way through until I pulled out the outfit that perfectly matched my needs to keep my tail concealed.

It was a dress with a long, flowing skirt that hit around mid-calf. Colored in a dusty gray, it was also made of stretchy material and covered my arms completely in long sleeves, and had a mock turtleneck. The waist was tight, and then it had much more fabric added into the material used for the skirt.

Over it I wore a plain black sweater, and left my hair free and flowing with only a black bucket hat to cover my ears. I would virtually fade into the background around the rest of the New Yorkers – there were styles of every type in the city, and mine made me blend into the gray buildings.

The only downfall was that I wore white high heels with the outfit. It still scared me to balance on heels, but I found that if I didn't I would soon end up walking on my toes – it was another strange instinct that I had picked up from my change. It was far easier – and drew less attention – for me to wear heels.

I was glad that I didn't fall over anymore, however, as I walked down the street towards the heart of the city. With my abilities to see everything lightening-quick and the balance added on from cat characteristics, I could probably run down the street with ease, although it was far easier to run in flat shoes.

The center of the city wasn't that full of tourists, although it was still busy. I sidled past all the newcomers and entered a dark alley – the type that no tourist would even walk past in fear of being mugged – or raped.

If anyone tried to mug me, they would have a very hard time catching my blurring form. And rape? I'd probably kill a rapist on principle, actually, to ensure that he wouldn't hurt anyone else, even though the blood smelled – quite frankly – disgusting.

My aversion to blood had grown over time. I took shallow, slow breaths most of the time now, in an effort to keep from drawing too much of the scent in. Down this alley, however, almost no human scent remained intact – not many had been down here in a long while.

There was a deteriorating old door as the end of the ally along the wall – someone would find it only if they knew where it was, or were a vampire.

Slowly pushing the door open, I slipped inside to find the few people wandering around had entered from the other entrance. That one was closer to the street and much more accessible, especially since there were few tourists who ever made it to the shop anyway.

The owner, sitting behind the cash register, was reading a book as usual. I made my path back to the corner where the books I had found were hidden. I'd stuffed them on the top of the bookshelf, where not even the owner seemed to be able to reach.

Sure enough, they had a thin little layer of dust on top – the air in the shop was filled with dust fragments. A human could have seen them with their own two eyes. I pulled the three texts into my lap as I sat with my legs curled under me on the ground.

My fingers nimbly flipped the pages, being careful not to tear any of them as I worked my way through. Finally, there was information that was plausible or even accurate. I only glanced at all three and made my way then to the front to buy the books.

They were ridiculously expensive – but then again, this man didn't get a lot of business. I paid the prices with money I had stored up by returning items to the department stores Alice went to.

She had bought me several outfits that I didn't want nor need, and so I had snuck out and returned one at a time to the various department stores without her knowledge. I didn't want her to know what I was doing, and nor did I need her to ask about the money for the clothes – so she didn't know.

I exited the shop through the 'main' entrance and found myself in a wonderfully cloudy day in New York City, purchases in hand and purse considerably lighter – Alice had bought the handbag that she claming matched my dress perfectly.

My original plan was to head directly home after getting the books that I was certain would contain the information I wanted – sure enough, they had – but now I found myself thoroughly tempted.

Why should I stay inside all the time? I had never made any agreement with any of the family – it had just been because my tail was impossible to hide without the correct outfit. Even though it was tightly coiled now under my dress, it was still uncomfortable; I had tied it with a bit of string 'just in case' back home anyway.

But now I was out here, and I wanted to see the city. I had never been on the East Coast before – I had gone to Albuquerque and Volterra, Italy, but nowhere else that made me take a plane in this direction across the States.

Why shouldn't I see the city? For a brief moment, I held back as I looked out at everyone bustling under the darkening sky – should I go out among the humans? Should I wait until Edward and I could go, and make it the first date we had gone on…well, ever? Besides to the meadow, and the Prom, of course?

I didn't want to deceive him, or any of my family – but who says I can't tell them I went out today? Goodness knows I needed to – they should understand that I couldn't stay cooped up in a house forever.

On impulse, I slung the books in the bag on my arm and marched out across the sidewalk with no purpose in mind. I was just going to go and sightsee today, see where my feet took me, and whenever I was done, my impeccable sense of smell would lead me back home.

The first place I wandered to was the Empire State Building – even though it took me a while to reach, I gracefully made my way through the masses of people and up to the top in no time once there.

The view over the city from the top was beautiful. I could see so much better than the humans, even though there was smog and cloudiness everywhere outside. I had chosen this day for a reason, after all – it was cloudy, and Alice said it would be all day so she could be free to go shopping.

Once I was down from the tall skyscraper, I made my way along the streets, people watching. Thousands of people lived in New York, and it seemed like everyone was different and unique in the oddest ways.

I could have sworn I saw someone wearing a cape and vampire fangs walking around.

My path took a large detour around the places I knew that Alice would be going to – department stores, of course. I also had to duck around a corner when I stepped out and caught sight of the university I knew Edward and Jasper were attending.

Beating it out of there, I went down underground and through a maze of subway tunnels and public transportation until I reached the shore. It was just before Coney Island – I didn't want to go there yet, but instead stood a bit down along the coast to look at it from afar.

That was where I stopped my 'wild' tour of the city. The sight of Coney Island and all the fun fair attractions made my heart ache. I wanted Edward to be here, to share this with me. I didn't want to be here alone, by myself when my family had no idea I was gone from home.

It was treacherous and deceitful. I wanted to be back there – yet the fresh, salty sea air smelled so refreshing. It washed away the scent of humans and the water was so calming to hear, even with the city at my back and bustling. Right now, I could hear, see even _taste_ calm.

Sitting down on a bench facing the water, I opened the bag I had carried my books in. Taking one out, I looked at the faded, scratched and worn hardcover. In peeling golden letters, the title of this one was _"Ancient Egyptian Legends"_.

The second book was also hardcover, with strange leather binding to it. Stamped in dark black were the words_ "Vampire Variations Mythology"._ The last book was bound completely in leather that was stiff with age. No ink was remaining on the stamped-out letters, but the title was visible._ "Feline Folklore of the Ages"._

I had already skimmed through the books, but now I opened the one about vampires and began to reread the passage that caught my attention the first time I skimmed through.

"… _A vampire is a creature with no heartbeat and thus, no pulse. They must take the blood of others to survive, and the venom that flows in their veins and takes the place of their human blood consumes the new blood in their systems. The blood of humans is taken to relieve the need for vampires to obtain new blood at a constant rate to survive._

_Once a vampire has fed, his or her eyes become a deep burgundy, unmistakably red and demonic to our sight if we run across such a person. When thirsty or about to loose control to bloodlust or of emotions, a vampire's eyes become dark and black – even more demonic-seeming, if it is possible. _

_Humans have a natural instinct to shy away from vampires, but a vampire has natural weapons to take his or her prey. They are inhumanly beautiful, gorgeous beyond belief; the vampire also is immensely strong, fast and has much-heightened senses to take down prey with relative ease. The vampire's skin is made of some substance so hard and impenetrable that there is no way for any Earthly weapon to pierce through his or her skin, except perhaps their own extremely sharp teeth. The impenetrable skin is also crystalline in construction and thus glitters like a million diamonds are embedded in the skin upon the rays of the sun contacting it in any way. A vampire does not sleep, for it cannot and thus always carries a tired appearance about the eyes. _

_The most dangerous weapon by far that a vampire has is its venom. For the venom not only replaces all the body fluids of a vampire, it is the thing that consumes all the blood they take. It is injected into the prey when a vampire bites, breaking skin very easily, and causes immense pain – a vampire feels exhilaration when the prey is frightened, and it makes the blood 'taste much better'. The venom is also the one thing which will change a human into a vampire – how this process is started, it is not known; only that it is painful in the extreme…"_

That one short passage I opened the book to when I was looking through the table of contents to see what was in it. There was other information in there about the history of other legends, but once I opened to this section I knew that I had finally found something that was very likely true.

It was simply far too accurate to be false. No one should have known that except for a vampire itself, and this didn't sound like one at all – it sounded like a human talking about someone they had interviewed who was, in fact, a vampire.

There wasn't much I could do about the rest of the information in this book, but I planned on finally taking this project of mine to the family and seeing where that could get us. Obviously, I needed help if I was to find out if everything in this book was true.

There was another passage that I wanted Carlisle in particular to read; it was about a certain legend I had read about when I was first discovering the secret Edward and the Cullens were keeping back in Forks, when I had first moved there.

_"… The Stregoni Benefici legend was inspired by a single vampire, whose only description that could be found was of 'golden hair and golden eyes', instead of the typical burgundy or black that other vampires all had. It is unknown if it is even possible for a vampire to have golden eyes…"_

It sounded suspiciously like Carlisle, especially since in the previous paragraphs it was said that the legend was started after Carlisle had been 'created' in London. I would have to ask him if he knew anything about it.

There was no doubt in my mind that this vampire book had to have some accurate information in it. The Egyptian book was written in another language – I was assuming that it was the one of the title, Egyptian, but if it wasn't I'd have a lot of research about languages to do in addition to that of translating it.

I would definitely need help on that front, but I was almost certain that the symbols were Egyptian. Because I couldn't understand it, I had no idea what the caption under what had grabbed my attention about the book said.

In about the middle section of the book, there was a rough sketch of an amulet, a necklace. It wasn't overly detailed, but it fit perfectly with the one that I could still see in my mind's eye as the one around my neck, and Victoria's when she was controlling me.

The necklaces were exactly the same as the drawing in this book; there had to be something I could use in it to tie into what I was as a vampire. The third book I had found by accident, much like I had picked up this Egyptian book with half-hearted hopes that I would find something useful in it.

The third book had other tales in it about legends of cats, but there was one that I saw in the beginning table of contents that drew my eye, especially since I had just found the Egyptian book – it was titled with a name that looked like some of the words in my book. Luckily, the story was written in English.

_"… The Cat was first created by a combination of the Undead and the power of an Egyptian priestess who sought to use the power of the Dark Magic to bend such a being to her will. She wished for control over the Undead and created two amulets to carry out her plans._

_The Priestess, named Bast after the goddess Bastet, used the light of combined sun and moon on the longest day of the year that both orbs share the sky to work the metal with her own bare hands. She crafted them with the shape of Bastet prominent, in the hopes that her wishes would be granted and the goddess would look down on her in favor._

_Both pendants were created of gold and used particular jewels in the eye of each etched cat. One was topaz stone from the deepest part of the world where it was hidden from the world, and the other was a ruby of great magnificence from the closest part of the world that had one such treasure. _

_Priestess Bast created the chains for both amulets out of melted and spun gold and placed one around her neck while she put the other on one of her youngest slave maids. Then she had one of the Undead turn the young slave girl, and the amulets worked their power upon her._

_Once the slave girl was through with her changes, she had taken up the image of the goddess Bastet herself. Enraged that she had not been the one to gain such power, Bast took the power away from the slave girl by removing the amulets and unraveling the Dark Magic. _

_But one of her apprentices, Nebt, had seen the power that Bast had taken as her own. Jealous, the trusted apprentice stole into her mistress's chamber one night and took both amulets away from their place. _

_It was never discovered where the amulets were taken. Distraught, Bast flung herself into a pit of despair and Nebt rose to assume control of the position of High Priestess that Bast had vacated. _

_The line of Priestesses hand down the secret of the amulets to one another in confidence, so that only the next High Priestess knows where they are now…"_

If this legend was true, then this Priestess Bast had created these two amulets, and her successor Nebt had taken them away and placed them somewhere until Victoria found them somehow.

Or maybe she had gone to the 'High Priestess' herself – it would only make sense, because then she would actually know what the amulets were. That was the only explanation I could sum up about her knowing to bite me and place the necklace around my neck.

Closing the book and placing all three away gently, I reflected on what all of this could mean if it was true. I would have to discover this line of High Priestesses to uncover anything else about myself.

It explained the control, at least – Victoria had been able to control me because of those amulets, and now that mine was off my neck and hers, destroyed if there was any luck in the world, it would be unable to be used on me again.

I still didn't understand Victoria's behavior growing increasingly strange, but I did see how it might be possible for this curse to be taken away from me – the curse of being even more different from my family, from looking like I did.

It wasn't that I was vain or prideful of my appearance – I simply didn't want to look different from everyone else, at least not like this. It was torture for me to hide my tail and ears all the time; quite honestly, I didn't understand how Edward could stand seeing me like this.

No longer was I that sweet innocent Bella. Now I had this stigmatism that hindered everything I did – I couldn't really even go outside because I looked so different from everyone else, and if anyone saw my tail or ears that would be deadly serious and very bad.

There was hope that these High Priestesses could take the curse away. After all, Bast took it away from her slave girl – if the legend was real – and we had already taken off the amulets. All that was needed now was for the 'Dark Magic' to be unraveled.

That would require going to them, to the High Priestesses. But if it removed this curse, this burden, from me then I would be more than willing to go through with it. Now I just needed to know more, and see if it was indeed true.

I had just begun to consider how strange it was that these books had been in New York while I was when I focused on the water in front of me again, snapping out of my thoughts and thinking.

The water was darkening: no more golden light spilled across the surface from the sun. Now it was orange. My eyes snapped up to the sunset before I glanced sharply at the watch on my wrist.

7:45 PM. The plane had come in at 5:30…

No one knew where I was.

Grabbing my bag and purse tightly in my hands, I jumped up off the bench, still looking at my watch, and began walking swiftly towards the nearest alleyway. I made it into a deserted one and instantly, began to run as fast as I could towards home, praying that with any luck, no one was there yet.

How I could have gotten so caught up that I forgot the time, I didn't know. It was stupid, stupid and idiotic of me to do that. I was running in high heels and I could balance and didn't care because I was late…Edward was going to be so mad at me for being out alone.

For all they knew, I had been gone anywhere from ten minutes before the first person came home to all day – which was actually the correct guess. But they hadn't needed to know before I could tell them!

This was deception, yes, but the wounds would be so much worse now. I hadn't had the chance to tell them – for all they knew now, I had never planned to tell them and had simply lost track of time while sneaking out.

My path home was mostly empty and I stopped myself at the dark alley before I ran out at full speed onto our street. Taking care not to seem winded or anything even remotely anxious, I walked casually out from the alley and to the corner on the curb.

It was agonizing, taking my time walking down the sidewalk. My senses told me quite clearly that there were people at the house – not human people, but vampire people – and I had glimpsed a flash of movement on the roof. Our hideout.

As I entered the front yard at human speed, I tried not to glance up to the window I knew held Edward; not only could I catch glimpses of him through the slightly dirty window – his arms crossed, face not detailed enough to see – but I could sense him there as well.

No one was waiting in the living room when I pushed the door open and entered the house. That took until I turned around to close the door – and then there were seven presences behind me, which had all zipped down the stairs at very fast speeds.

I shuddered inside, dreading what I knew was coming my way.

* * *

_A/N – Sorry I cut it off here! I just couldn't write any more under this song, it needs the next one lined up for it:) I hope you liked this chapter and will review nicely now for the next one!_

_I'm FREE!!!!!! I am not longer a freshman of high school – today was the last day of school! HALLELUJAH! More time to write:) Look for more updates for my other stories showing up soon, as I will have time most of next week during the weekdays to write! _

_I also am sad to report that my summer vacation will 'officially' start after June 30. I am going on July 2 to Disneyworld in Florida, and then a Disney Cruise, then Universal Studios Orlando, on my summer vacation! So, I won't be able to write much after that! I want to try and work as much as possible on all my stories, though, just wait! I'll get as much up as I can:) _

_Thanks for reading! Review, please!_


	14. Showing

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer._

_Song To Listen To: "Summer Rain" by U2. This is more of a foreshadowing song than anything else – it is suggesting something that is going to come. :) _

* * *

"**Summer Rain" by U2**

_When you stop seeing beauty you start growing old_

_The lines on your face are a map to your soul_

_When you stop taking chances you'll stay where you sit_

_You won't live any longer but it'll feel like it_

_I lost myself in the summer rain; I lost myself_

_I lost myself in the summer rain; in the summer rain_

_Tequila and orange, Jamaica and rum; at the Morella, honey on my tongue_

_In a small boat on a generous sea you let me be your enemy_

_Tiny hand with a grip on the world holding our breath now, diving for pearls_

_I lost myself in the summer rain; I lost myself_

_I lost myself in the summer rain; just as you find me_

_Always I will be a little bit too free with myself_

_Just as you find me, always I will be a little bit too free with myself_

_I lost myself in the summer rain; I lost myself: now there's no one else in the summer rain_

_Raining down, raining down rain; raining now, raining now_

_Just as you find me always I will be a little bit too free with myself_

_Just as you find me always I will be a little bit too free with myself_

_It's not why you're running; it's where you're going_

_It's not what you're dreaming but what you're gonna do_

_It's not where you're born it's where you belong_

_It's not how weak but what will make you strong_

* * *

**_Curse_ **

**Showing**

I was a bit of a hypocrite, pretending not to notice them. My eyes were focused on the closet door as I quietly hung my hat on a hook inside it, followed by the light black sweater I had thrown on over my dress. I considered taking off the shoes, too, but decided that was overkill in the delaying tactics.

When I turned around, I couldn't look at their faces; instead, I stared at the lineup of shoes and bare feet. Toes stared accusingly at me, both from feet and the shoes themselves. One fashionable pair tapped its toes; some very familiar bare feet splayed toes out, gripping the ground.

My fingers played with the plastic of the bag holding my books. I was thankful that it wasn't clear plastic – I wanted a chance to explain why I was carrying these particular books with me.

It was very quiet. No one was saying a word, and I felt like anything I said would immediately be jumped on. I didn't know what they thought I was doing outside the house, but I wanted to hear what they had to say first.

Hanging my head was becoming uncomfortable, however, even though I couldn't look anyone in the eye. I watched the toes and shoes as they watched me patiently, waiting for an explanation that wasn't going to come yet.

Finally, Carlisle's soft voice carried to me. "Where were you, Isabella?"

I winced inside, feeling like curling up into a ball to shield myself from the disappointment in his voice. 'Isabella' – no one in this family had ever used my full name before. "I was…out, in the city…" My throat felt tight, although it didn't obstruct my words.

"Why did you leave the house without any explanation?" Esme sounded so sad, but the relief I could hear in her voice confused me. Did they think I couldn't take care of myself?

"I wanted to see the city," I explained, head still bowed low. "I was going to tell you about what I found; I lost track of time, though, and wasn't here before you came back to the house."

There was stillness in the air for a few minutes before Carlisle asked gently, "What did you find?" There was a sense of urgency in his voice that I didn't understand.

But it perked me up; excitement flooded my veins and I lifted my head, forcing a smile not to appear on my face. I still didn't look at them, but I pulled the books out of the plastic bag and cradled them gently in my arms as I crumpled the bag and tossed it to the side table.

Stepping forward, I approached Carlisle tentatively, making sure that the cat book was on top. 'Feline Folklore of the Ages'. The rest of the family moved in to see the title of the top volume.

He opened the book to the page I had marked with a dog-eared page. My voice was shaky as I whispered, "I just wanted to find out more about what I was." As I told him, I looked down at my nails – silver and sharp, it had taken much self-control to keep them from accidentally slicing up the books.

The physical reminders that I was different, more so than any other vampire was from another, caused me daily worry and pain. I didn't want to be different, but to be like every other vampire. These claws, those ears, that tail…even the way I moved.

And shifting form: I hadn't done it in front of any of my family before, and they must have assumed only the amulet had let me. But I had tried it out several times when alone, and I still could. Just another thing that made me different…

Carlisle sped-read the passage I had marked and made a gentle hum of understanding before asking, "Why didn't you ask us for help?"

"I don't know," I whispered, feeling lost and stupid. If I had asked for help, I might have known more sooner; but I had wanted to do it alone. I thought I didn't need help. I felt Edward's arms carefully wrapping around my waist and pulling me close to his chest; I gladly leaned back.

My eyes darted up when they looked at the amulet sketch of the second book I had bought. They all looked relieved for some reason, but also curious now that I had introduced the topic of myself to them.

Emmett laughed when the third book was uncovered. "I really don't think there will be anything in there we can use, Bella," he snorted.

Grinning slyly now that it seemed I was forgiven for my running off, I opened the book the book to the small passage and replied, "Then read that."

To say they were surprised would be an understatement. Edward's arms tightened around me and he asked, "Where did you find that book?"

Looking up at his stern, concerned face, I told them, "It took a while to find the bookstore. I thought I never would find a book to help, and I found three. There was nothing online at all – and judging from the look of them, those books are very old."

"How long have you been looking for information on yourself?" When I didn't answer, Edward growled, "Bella?"

"…A year…" I whispered, my head ducking down again. I knew what the reaction to that would be.

"One year?" Esme sounded incredibly stern. "Do you mean to tell us you've been running out of this house for a year and we never knew? And that you were fine the whole time?" There was a note of triumph in her voice that I, once again, didn't understand.

"No!" I frowned. "…Only for the past half year or so. I couldn't find anything online no matter how many search engines I used, and when I left the house, I had definite times for when you would all get back and made sure I'd be otherwise alone all day…" That sounded very devious.

"You've left the house other times and been safe?" Carlisle asked, staring right at me with intensity that I was once more lost on.

"Yes…why are you all so concerned about me having gone out alone?" I finally asked. "I can take care of myself."

"You've never been on this side of the coast before," Edward interrupted smoothly before Carlisle could talk. "We don't want you to wander around alone, Bella, no matter how well you can take care of yourself."

I looked straight at him and he stared innocently back at me. He was hiding something, I just knew it – but I let it go this time, nodding and whispering, "I'm sorry. I was going to tell everyone today because I found those books."

Jasper soothed my worried nerves. "We'll start looking and helping you find anything we can, Bella. Why don't you go relax for a while – you've been out all day, haven't you?"

"Um…yeah," I felt like blushing. Edward sighed and began tugging me toward the stairs while the family dispersed behind us. I was surprised that Rosalie and Alice had been so quiet – maybe they were going to come by and talk to me later.

I followed him up to our room, where I suddenly found myself lying back on the long, wide couch Edward and I had decided on together. He was hovering over me, propped on his elbows and studying my face like he'd never see it again.

"What is it?" I asked, worried about this strange scrutiny.

He smiled my favorite smile and shook his head. "Nothing. I was just so worried about you being gone…we didn't know where you went, or…if you were coming back." His head bowed low and he settled against me, head buried in my neck.

Running my fingers through his hair, I knew what was troubling him. "Edward, this is the life I want. I want to be with you no matter what you seem to think I should feel, and nothing will ever change that."

We stayed there for a long time; I didn't know if he had taken the words to heart or not, but whatever he had decided, I knew instinctively that he was staying right here with me, no matter what.

Sometime during the night a storm had blown in – when the dawn rose, it was through gray, cloudy skies and a light rainfall. My lips curled into a smile as Edward slipped off of me and pulled me to my feet, a mischievous look in his eye.

"What are you planning?" I asked, watching him carefully. My feet followed where he led despite my suspicion of his activities, and it came as a surprise to me when he pulled me all the way to the roof without me noticing. "Edward!"

He laughed gently, careful not to let the roar ring out loud and true into the city. But I didn't resist at all as he pulled me into his arms and twirled about the roof with me under the rainfall.

It washed all my worries away, the water rushing down my limbs and soaking my dress thoroughly. And I knew, despite whatever worries Edward had that I might leave him because of resentment, that I never would.

I also knew that he hadn't forgotten my escapade today and we would have to talk about it someday. But it didn't matter right now, under the rain as we danced to the beat of unheard music.

* * *

_A/N – Okay, this was a really bad chapter. I couldn't think of any way to make it go! I know where I want to end up with the last few chapters, but these ones here are getting harder and harder to do! I just have to muscle past one more chapter and then it'll be on to the part I've been waiting for! I hope you liked this!_


	15. Anger

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer._

_**Song To Listen To:** "The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance. There's a line that mentions vampires, which is a more obvious connection, but I can also find ways to relate each line to 'Twilight' in ways that aren't connected to each other. _

* * *

**"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance**

_Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own; if I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes?_

_'Cause I spent the night dancing I'm drunk I suppose; if it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave_

_This alone, you're in time for the show; you're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe_

_You can watch me corrode like a beast and repose – 'cause I love all the poison away with the boys in the band_

_I've really been on a bender and it shows – so why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?_

_Give me a shot to remember, and you can take all the pain away from me; a kiss and I will surrender, the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead_

_A light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be – in love with all of these vampires so you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

_There's a place in the dark where the animals go – you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow_

_Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands; drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands Romeo_

_I've really been on a bender and it shows – so why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?_

_Give me a shot to remember, and you can take all the pain away from me; a kiss and I will surrender, the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead_

_A light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be – in love with all of these vampires so you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

_Give me a shot to remember, and you can take all the pain away from me; a kiss and I will surrender, the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead_

* * *

**_Curse _**

**Anger **

After I was caught, things seemed to go better in my search for information. With those three books, Carlisle was able to piece together a sketch of what might have happened to me, the family chipping in with various things.

Victoria must have gotten the amulet – we weren't certain how – and then used it on me, connecting it to her. She was controlling me with the necklace, just as I had thought. When we took the amulet off me and broke hers, the connection was destroyed.

"What I don't understand," I thought out loud, "is why she started acting so strangely." We were gathered in Carlisle's office, posed in various ways around the room. Esme stood over her husband's shoulder; Jasper had the vampire book on his lap, sitting in a chair with Alice pacing behind him.

Rosalie and Emmett were snuggled together on the smaller couch, the book written in what Jasper had identified as Egyptian writing on the desk in front of them. Edward was sitting normally beside me with the last book open in his hand – the other was resting on my stomach, my own hand over it and my head hanging off the seat of the couch; my legs dangled over the back of it.

Edward glanced down at me, puzzled. "Acting strangely? How did she act?"

I thought for a moment before saying, "Well…when I was first brought to the hotel she acted normal, I guess. But I caught her talking to herself after time, and then it became more common…and she wasn't acting rationally when she confronted you and the pack, I know you noticed that."

"We did," Carlisle frowned. "At the time, we thought she was just desperate – but given that we didn't manage to destroy her, she may have rightly thought she could get away from us." Edward's eyes flickered to him before returning to mine.

My forehead creased, but I covered up my confusion about my boyfriend by stating, "But she worked so hard to get to me – and even then, at the beach where she got me –" Edward growled slightly "– she wasn't quite rational then, either. She was foolishly putting herself at risk, when she'd managed to avoid all of you and the pack for a long time."

Rosalie looked closely at me, her eyes boring into mine. "When a vampire looses her mate, I'd think it would drive her insane." Her significant look told me what she meant and I felt like blushing, but she continued solemnly, "But think – did you annoy her at all when she had you? Did you give her a reason to not want you around?"

I slowly shook my head. "She wasn't around much – she didn't spend time in the hotel if she could help it."

It was quiet until Alice gracefully landed on the armrest of Jasper's chair and said, "I have another thing to bring up." We all looked at her and she continued, "Why can't I see Bella anymore? If it involves someone else, I get a shadowy shape – it's gotten slightly clearer over time, but I've noticed that it definitely only shows her looking more like a vampire whenever I get a clearer view."

"You can't see anything catlike?" I asked, surprised. Was that the whole reason she couldn't see me clearly – I was part animal? But not just any type of animal – a cat can be trained to be docile, like a dog – and wolves were related to dogs. "Did you think that might be another reason you can't see werewolves?"

Apparently my logic skipped their minds. I received blank stares and so clarified what I meant. "Because werewolves are essentially part wolf – they turn into animals. Alice, in your visions do you ever see animals? Ones that can be domesticated like canines or felines?"

I could practically hear the 'click' in everyone's mind. Alice beamed widely, shaking her head, and giggled, "You've managed to crack a requirement of my visions – I've never noticed that before! Usually I'm focusing on people – but now that you mention it, animals are fuzzy like you!"

Edward grinned at me. I smiled back, but it slipped off my face rather quickly. I was getting tired, which was another thing that made me different and feel like curling up in a small ball, miserable. "What about sleep?"

That made my family fade away for a moment, thinking about what I was saying. My sleep requirements were odd – only a few hours every week or so – but it was more than any vampire ever had. I hated it; Edward loved being able to watch me sleep for two hours, even though it was such a short time.

Carlisle shrugged at long last and told me, "I think we'll have to look for more information, Bella. Two people can go look through the bookshop you gave us directions to – Edward? Emmett? All right – don't take too long. In about three hours you have school, Edward."

I looked at my Edward in shock; he didn't want to hang around to watch me sleep? It wasn't that I wanted him there – it was that I didn't know what to think about it. He didn't see the surprise on my face – I got rid of it before he could. "Oh – well, I guess I'll see you later."

He smiled, leaning down to press his lips to mine gently – it still caused me to go breathless for a few short minutes. The difference was that I didn't pass out. "Do you want to go for a quick hunt when I get back later today?" he whispered in my ear.

"Sure," I replied with the last of the air in my lungs. I had a silly grin on my face as I watched Edward slip off the couch and walk out the door, followed by Emmett. Soon after, I noticed that Jasper, Rosalie and Esme had left the room too, and Alice was the last one slipping out the door.

Sitting up, I noticed that I was all alone. Sighing slightly, I pulled the feline book towards me and flipped back to the short segment of story we had looked over again and again. For the millionth time, I scanned the words, trying to find out whether it was fact or fiction.

My fingers ran along the edges of the pages absentmindedly – I paused, ran my finger over a particular spot again, and tilted the book to look. My fingertips were very sensitive, and I could sense in a certain spot that there were two pages from one in a small part, midway down the side.

Easing my fingernail between the minuscule flaps with the utmost care, I slowly ran it along the page, pulling two apart from each other. Excitement rose in me before I tried to quench it; it probably wasn't that important, or it could be nothing.

But as I moved the pages fully open, I saw that it was something interesting. A large map of the world was spread across the two pages; with red ink, someone had marked Egypt with a familiar symbol in a particular spot, and drawn a strange building shadow. It was tiny – the size of about half a dime.

It wasn't the only mark on the map of the world – many other marks in different color inks were made in other languages, but the one in Egypt had caught my attention. The familiar symbol…I turned back to the story. Sure enough, it was in the title that was written in Egyptian hieroglyphics.

The book fell to the floor: closing at it hit the ground. I was lost in thought, the image embedded in my mind. Did that mark mean the temple was there? There was a fair bet that the name of the temple could be in the title of the story. A part of the story floated into my mind.

"_Once the slave girl was through with her changes, she had taken up the image of the goddess Bastet herself. Enraged that she had not been the one to gain such power, Bast took the power away from the slave girl by removing the amulets and unraveling the Dark Magic"_

I stopped breathing, but nothing could get around the fact that was plain in my mind. The priestess had been able to take the 'image of Bastet' away from the slave girl who was changed into a vampire – the priestesses at this temple might know how to make me look like a normal vampire, how to take away the cat-like parts of me!

I could be a normal vampire…if I went to Egypt, to these priestesses and sought their help. But the amulets had been lost – that was what the story said. The secret might not be known anymore; they might not be able to help me.

My heart was light and heavy at the same time. Picking up the book carefully, I placed it on the stack at the center table. I didn't want to tell my family about what I had learned – the strangeness that had become more and more apparent lately made me hesitant to share anything. I might talk to Edward, but something told me he had a bit to do with the family acting differently.

Drifting casually along the staircases, I let myself collapse in Edward's and my room. Tired and not wanting to think anymore about what my family might be keeping from me, I let my eyes close and began to drift.

It seemed like only a few seconds had passed before I felt a hand stroking my head and combing through my hair. It made me feel so completely content that I let out a soft sound and rolled towards the intoxicating scent that I knew very well. "Edward…" I purred, opening my eyes lazily.

My eyes found his topaz ones, gleaming brightly; he was sitting with my head in his lap, and seemed to have been there comfortably for a long time. I must have been asleep – the difference between my human days and now was that I didn't dream and so couldn't tell if I had slept or not.

"Ready to head out, love?" he murmured, burying his head in my neck and drawing a deep breath. "We didn't find anything, but we were moving human speed in the shop – the owner wasn't a vampire, nor did he have any idea what we were despite the fact that he had such an ancient book…"

"I thought you had school? That we were going to head out after you got back?" I raised my eyebrows at him, puzzled.

He laughed. "We only stayed for two hours – I have an hour before school, and I want to spend it with you." I didn't resist as he pulled me to my feet and gave me a light shove towards my dresser.

"Where are we going? Just out to hunt, or is there something in particular you want us to do?" I asked, throwing on jeans and a plain, long shirt: my usual hunting uniform.

Edward was already standing by the door, gazing with fake interest at the floor when I turned around. Tossing me my small silver cell phone – one that had been graciously provided for me by the Cullens – he grinned, "We're just hunting – nothing in particular."

Running beside Edward was always exhilarating. He was definitely the fastest runner, and I was probably the slowest, but he stayed side by side with me the whole time we ran. I had improved over time – no longer being clumsy gave me wonderful possibilities for athletics.

Hunting was always something that made me feel inexplicably content. This time, however, I was just a little bit withdrawn, remembering what I hadn't told Edward or anyone in my family yet. The Cullens were so good to me, but I hadn't told them about this.

The stress was having a strange effect on my emotions; they were fluctuating wildly around and it took everything I had to keep my face clear of all the inner turmoil inside. If Jasper had been with us I would have given myself away in seconds, practically screaming at him that something was wrong.

Finally Edward and I were full and we came to a slow walk under the trees, human speed in the middle of absolute wilderness. We were very quiet, but I was so caught up trying to make myself calm down that I didn't notice. He scared me when he said hesitantly, "Bella?"

I jumped. At his raised eyebrow, I responded, "You startled me! What is it, Edward?"

"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about…" Our steps slowed down and I tried to focus on him, tried to ignore the stress making my emotions go haywire.

"Spit it out," I shrugged my shoulders, crossing my arms.

He was slow to start, but cut right to the point. "My family urged me to tell you because they thought you should know – do you recall how angry we were, the day you disappeared for a good part of the day?" he abruptly asked.

I blinked, the annoyance rising over the rest of the feelings. "I didn't disappear, I just went out."

Edward half-smiled and told me, "That's not how it appeared to us, Bella, and we –," he stopped, shook his head and corrected himself, "– I was worried for more than their reason…they were more concerned about Victoria."

"Victoria? What about her?" I didn't understand what he meant. She had disappeared from our lives over two years ago. I didn't know what happened to her, but I had found my mind drifting away from her more and more, and wanted nothing more than to forget about her part in my life.

"Bella, you know that we didn't manage to dispatch of her quite thoroughly, as was our goal. She got away – which means she's still out there." Anger swamped my mind when I heard his words. A part of me began to feel very worried, up until the moment that I became irritated.

"I don't see what this has to do with me, Edward," I bit out sharply, increasing our pace by a small bit – just enough to make him take on longer strides to stay at my side.

He was looking down at me, incredulous. "She's hunting you down! She's the one who bit you, captured you, used some mystical amulet to control you – – we're worried about you. That's why we keep you inside most of the time."

I saw red. "Keep me inside? Like I'm a pet?" I snarled, irrationally infuriated.

His eyes, getting darker by the second, hit black. "That's not what I meant, Bella, and you know it."

I didn't want to hear him talk to me – a first that made an alarm bell go off in my head. It was drowned out by my fury. "Oh? Then what did you mean?" I didn't wait for him to respond. "Did you mean that I was supposed to do what you all asked, because obviously you all know so much about me?"

Edward's lips tightened; had blood run through his veins like a normal human, they would have turned white. "Bella, that's not fair –."

"I'll tell you what's not fair, Edward. 'Not fair' is me not knowing about your concern for some red-haired psycho because no one bothered to tell me that the worry was quite large!" I exploded, my growls shaking the trees around us.

"I'm trying to tell you now!"

"And you're the one who told them not to tell me in the first place!" I shot back. His eyes grew even darker, but I noted that his shoulders sagged just a little bit. I let out a mockery of a laugh. "I'm right, aren't I? That's why you won't say anything!"

"I didn't want you to worry about her –." He tried to explain. But I wouldn't let him; the part of me that knew I was acting completely different from myself was screaming at me to stop this now, but the part I could hear far better made much more sense at the time.

"What about if she had come to the house, hm? I wouldn't have been prepared for her to be there because I didn't know it was such a large concern!" I spat. We had stopped walking, in a face-off that had me ready for battle and Edward, hurt and confused.

He had his own temper, a thought that I hadn't remembered. Eyes black, fists clenched, he was probably a mirror of me and he was infinitely scarier than I probably was. In his own rage, he shot back, "You're usually very perceptive – why didn't you think to remember that she was still out there? You can't blame us for not telling you about it if you didn't consider it either. At least we did think about it, and we tried to help make sure you were safe."

I clasped my hands to my chest, a sneer on my lips. "Oh, I was so safe, Edward, not knowing what was worrying you, why you were keeping some secret from me! What was I to think, knowing you weren't telling me something?"

"You knew we – no, that's not the point." He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before opening them and trying to calm down. "You were compliant enough to stay at the house and be safe, and we thought you didn't need to know."

"Meaning _you_ thought that it was all right to keep a secret from me!" I snapped. Turning on my heel, I tried to put some distance between us as I headed out into the forest. An angry cloud was flooding my brain, making my thoughts muddled and confused. I didn't want to push through it – the part of me that I could hear much clearer was prominent and telling me to walk on.

Edward followed, of course; I could sense him, and I felt his icy hand land on my arm. "Bella –."

Irrationality propelled me; anger was all I could make sense of. I went with my first instinct and turned around, screaming, "Get your hand off me!" As I spoke, my hand drove out and I slashed my claws at him. Clearly, I heard him gasp in pain.

Jumping back, I felt the anger in my mind sweeping back just a little so that I could see again; he was pressing a hand against his chest, eyes wide and locked on me. From underneath his hand, I could see the slash across his shirt and his skin underneath.

Four deep gouges marred his perfect, pale skin; there was venom flowing out of the wounds, a bit of the blood that he had just drank with me mixed with it – my nails had gone that deep. I looked at my hand and swallowed hard, seeing the venom coating the razor-sharp daggers on my hands.

There was a deep, impregnable silence before Edward's tight lips parted. "B-Bella…" he whispered; I couldn't look in his eyes. Mine were glued to his chest – that perfect skin, ruined by me. Me. I was shaking my head slowly, mouthing 'no' over and over, edging backwards. He tried to reach towards me, move forward, but fell back against a tree with a gasp of pain. My heart broke. I had caused this pain…

From here, there was only one option. I turned tail – literally – and relied on his pain to keep him from catching up with me. I ran as hard as I could. Behind me, his faint cry of, "Bella!" rang in the trees.

My tears were soaking my shirt before I had even disappeared from his view, and the emotional turmoil was cocooning me before I even left him where he stood.

* * *

_**A/N –** Do you hate me? No, please don't! I guarantee a happy ending that sticks to canon:) There should have been plenty of clues in this chapter about what Bella is going to do next, now that she's run from Edward in shock at her own actions. Thank you for reading! _


	16. Runaway

__

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_Song To Listen To: "You Are The One" by Shiny Toy Guns. It's just Edward and Bella, and you have to interpret the words like always to get what I mean by it, but I suppose the main point "You'll never be alone again" can be thought of as the conclusion of Bella's thoughts, because she thinks that she'll be 'better' once she goes through with her plan. _

* * *

**"You Are The One" by Shiny Toy Guns**

_Black rose and radio fire: it's so contagious – it's just something changing my mind, I'm gonna take what's evil _

_Your cover melting inside, with wide eyes you tremble; kissing over and over again, your God knows his faithful _

_I try – to digest my pride, but passions grip I fear; when I climb – into shallow vats of wine, I think I almost hear – but it's not clear_

_You are the one; you'll never be alone again; you're more than in my head, you're more _

_You are the one; you'll never be alone again; you're more than in my head, you're more_

_Spin faster shouting out loud; you can't steal what's paid for; such something hurting again; murder, son, she's painful _

_You so believe your own lies on my skin, your fingers; run away until the last time, we're gonna lose forever _

_When you try – don't try to say you won't; try to crawl into my head – when you cry, 'cause it's all built up inside – your tears already said, already said_

_You are the one; you'll never be alone again; you're more than in my head, you're more_

_You are the one; you'll never be alone again; you're more than in my head, you're more_

_You'll never be alone again _

_You are the one; you'll never be alone again; you're more than in my head, you're more_

_You are the one; you'll never be alone again; you're more than in my head, you're more_

* * *

_**Curse **_

**Runaway**

I ran until I couldn't run any more, until I couldn't hear anyone behind me calling my name. Specifically, I couldn't hear Edward crying my name, begging me to come back. I could hear him when I was closer, even though I knew I had to be at least a mile away. Vampire hearing was that good; it tortured me.

I could hear him calling me and it was like a knife to the heart every time his voice hit my ears. To know that just minutes before I had hurt him deeply enough to draw blood – blood! He might have recently fed, but that didn't make a difference to me. I had hurt him.

No matter how much I wanted to turn around and leap into his arms, cry on his shoulder and have him hold me tight, I knew already that was something I couldn't do. Edward was hurt because of me; I had no right to run to him when he was the one hurt, when I was the one who hurt him.

Finally my feet slowed and I stumbled to my knees on the ground, sobbing hard and relentlessly. I barely had time to take in shallow little breaths out of instinct because I was crying so hard.

Edward was the love of my life. I wanted him and only him, I was finally able to spend eternity with him, and what stood in our way?

The things that were different with me because of Victoria made me dangerous to be near him. My claws were deadly; that was the main concern.

But my tail and ears made it difficult for me to go outside the house. Even a glimpse of them would be highly suspicious in the human world. I could put his entire family in danger.

After all this time, I still couldn't consider them to truly be my family. I knew very well that they wanted me to be, but I could still remember my human life very well. My parents were still alive, my friends and everyone I grew up with were out there. I still had faint connections, and they weren't gone yet.

I couldn't truly be part of the Cullen family until there wasn't anything else that I could see in the fading past. It was just a part of me, nothing that could be helped or overcome; time would simply have to pass. That was all I could do about my mental hang-up.

But there was no denying the logic that I was much too different to even be considered a vampire. The books had proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt, if there had ever been any. I was something vampire, but more than at the same time.

These claws made me a freak of nature. If the books were to be believed – and I was sure that they were correct – then someone created the amulet and thus, me. I wasn't a natural part of nature, like vampires and werewolves most likely were.

Uncurling from my sobbing ball of misery, I looked around the trees that surrounded me. I was in a park in some city that I didn't know the name of; thankfully, it was early in the morning. No one was up and about quite yet, so I was alone.

I couldn't remember which direction I had run to reach this place, north or south, but I did know that if I turned around I could run straight back to where I left Edward in the woods. My heart ached at the thought.

I couldn't do that to him, not as I was now. I was certain he would forgive me for my actions; he was that kind of person, loved me that much. We would make up and I would say I was so sorry and he would say it was all right. My tail twitched at the thought of letting his arms surround me, strong and true.

But it couldn't last. We were both eternally stuck in our teens, and had tempers to prove it. I would lose my temper again someday, and hurt him again. That cycle was one that I would not willingly step into. I couldn't do that to him, because he would simply take it, just to have me there with him.

The blinding pain, the confusion, which had torn at me while we argued, was abruptly silenced as I came to a conclusion. The memory of the map in one of the texts I had found flew into my mind; I saw the symbol that marked the temple in my head.

Could I find it? I was certain that if I just looked at a map, I would know where it was. All I needed to do was hop on a plane, head to Egypt, and find the temple... In the book, the Priestess had removed the curse from the slave girl. Hopefully, she would know how to do it for me, even if it was a new priestess.

I only had this one chance to remove the curse. It was my first and last hope for a normal vampire life. I had to take it.

I'd be free of the claws that could harm even my cold marble boyfriend who was supposedly indestructible. I wouldn't have the ears or tail that could give me away as 'something else' to humans and thus endanger his family. I'd be...normal.

I stood up, brushing my knees off; there was dirt streaked and stuck to me, rocks digging into my bare feet. This wouldn't do at all; I'd be easily caught by airport security and kicked out, a homeless woman – albeit a gorgeous one. With ears and a tail...I shook my head. No, I needed clothes.

Wiping my cheeks free of tears, I made my way stealthily along the edge of the park. I didn't want anyone to see me and call the police; I just wanted to find a store. My conscience was already tugging at me guiltily, warning me off of what I was about to do.

The first little store that I came across was just sport wear. I couldn't go to Egypt by plane wearing a sports bra and jogging pants: it would be ridiculously easy for my family to find me that way, not to mention incredibly stupid on my part.

But across the street there was a tiny little store with a metal grate across the front; behind the glass windows, there stood a single dummy – blank face and stiff arms adorned with a beautiful creation of flowing cloth.

The only thing I noticed was that the skirt would definitely cover my tail. The only problem was that there was a single bodice that would leave much of my stomach and back exposed, as well as my head. I was certain that I could find something for that, however.

Dashing to the back of the store, I inserted one long, sharp nail into the keyhole with gentle force, managing to wriggle the old-fashioned lock open with ease. Stepping inside, I found the back storeroom completely empty of human life. Only cardboard boxes stood at attention, watching me solemnly.

Skirting around the boxes, I entered the main part of the store, surprised to find cloth hung up all over the room – racks and racks of assorted clothing that caused me to think 'India', labeled with 'sari' and other such names.

There was a rack with a dummy standing in front that caught my attention. They appeared to all be saris, but I couldn't be sure; nevertheless, the model was perfect. It looked like the sari I had seen in the window had a layer on top, one that appeared to be a headscarf with a cloth that covered most of the face. Only my eyes would be seen. Perfect.

I chose on out of the rack behind the model, pulling out one of plain white cotton that had few decorations stitched upon it. There was a shelf of shoes that I searched through and found the plainest I could. Now there was only one thing left that I had to figure out.

Luggage would be a problem. If I had no bags with me, the airport security would be highly suspicious of my actions to try and board a plane to Egypt. There was no other way I could get there quickly, however, and I needed these clothes to go through and be unrecognized.

Considering my options carefully, I left the clothes I needed on a hanger and headed out of the store through the back. I felt incredibly horrible for taking the clothes and leaving no money – instead, I promised myself that the next time I was back in the States, I would stop by and drop off much more than I would have paid for taking the outfit.

Hopefully, I would be back in America very soon. After all, I was only making a short trip to Egypt out of necessity and would come back to Edward as soon as I could. One of my hands drifted to my pocket as I walked, just barely brushing against the cell phone that was still stored there.

I wanted desperately to call him, to tell him I was fine and would be back as soon as I could. But if I did, I knew he would find a way to make me bend my will, to make me come back to him as I was. It was a danger I didn't need to tempt so recklessly.

I began to wander around the town and soon found that I was in Washington, DC. Losing all track of time as I ran certainly made for a disorienting return to reality. For me to have run all the way here in such a short time was truly a statement to how afraid I was for Edward's safety, for our future together.

My wandering took me up to yet another store as I searched fruitlessly for a map of Egypt. I was just beginning to despair until I found a little store, the owner sitting behind a counter and unable to see my bare feet from his perch. That I was dirty didn't escape his notice; neither did my beauty.

"May I help you, Miss?" His eyes were lecherous. I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

"Do you have a map of Egypt I might look at for a moment?" He stared for a long time and I was beginning to get annoyed, wanting to leave when he reached out a hand with a folded piece of paper.

"Take it and leave my store," he commanded, eying my torn clothes with distaste – although I did notice that it wasn't just disgust that he showed at my appearance. Thoroughly disgusted by him, I took the map and ran out of the store, not wanting to stay near him any longer than I already had.

Unfolding the map, I had to smile in satisfaction as the region I was searching for came into view. I knew exactly where the temple was, even though it was unmarked on this map. Cairo was to the north of the section of land I was trying to reach; that made the plane destination easier.

But how to get on a plane in my state was something else entirely. In the end, I decided to just head for the airport and hole up out of view in the baggage claim; with my speed, I might be able to reach a plane and take a seat in the baggage hold.

Once there, I was faced with the trouble of figuring out which planes went where. I soon tired of trying to piece things together and settled for darting into the airport through an open door as fast as I could. I raced all the way to the check-in area, through the crowds, and behind the baggage check.

There was a small, unoccupied office in the back with a computer; I heard the vague sounds of the manager moving down the hall away from the office. I had time. Pulling the computer underneath the desk, I quickly flipped my way through a few screens and made it to a search engine for airlines.

It took five minutes for me to get the correct airline, and one more to find which flight it was I needed. The plane I was going to catch would take off in half a day – I was stuck in this airport until then if I wanted to take it. I would have to.

Memorizing the time and gate number, I placed the computer back as it had been when I came in and flew out of the office, making my way through the crowds once more.

I curled up in a hidden spot where I could see the gate my plane would land at. There was nothing else I could do now but wait, and try not to think about Edward and what I was probably doing to him by not being there at his side.

Our separation before had been torture – I had only been gone for a few hours and already the pain of being away from him was awful. The weeks when Victoria had me were nothing compared to the agony in my heart right now.

I had time to kill, but nothing I could do. The clothes stayed on their hanger and my arms stayed wrapped across my chest, holding the gaping hole that was ripping at the seams closed. I thought it was healed – apparently it was only repaired.

My melancholy and increasingly depressed thoughts were interrupted upon a vibration on my hip. With shaking fingers and labored breath, I pulled out a cell phone and stared at the caller ID on screen.

* * *

_A/N – Yes, I am evil. You know it, I know it, and everyone knows it. I hope you did like this chapter anyway and I pray that you'll keep on reading! I only have about eight more chapters to write! Thanks for reading!_


	17. Departure

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_Song To Listen To: "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. Speaks for itself._

* * *

**"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day**

_I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known; don't know where it goes, but it's home to me and I walk alone_

_I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams; where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone_

_I walk alone, I walk alone – I walk alone, I walk a…_

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me; my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating; sometimes I wish that someone out there will find me_

'_Til then I walk alone – ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aah-ah; ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah _

_I'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind; on the borderline of the edge and where I walk alone_

_Read between the lines, what's fuked up and everything's all right; check my vital signs, to know I'm still alive and I walk alone_

_I walk alone, I walk alone – I walk alone, I walk a…_

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me; my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating; sometimes I wish that someone out there will find me _

'_Til then I walk alone – ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, aah-ah; ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah – I walk alone, I walk a…_

_I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams; where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk a…_

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me; my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating; sometimes I wish someone out there will find me _

* * *

**_Curse_ **

**Departure**

I stared at the caller ID unable to move for the pain that was swamping my body. There was nothing that I wanted more than to answer the phone, but I couldn't. Slowly lowering the phone at my side, I began crying silent tears as it vibrated in the palm of my hand.

For nearly four hours it kept ringing, the vibrations running up my arm soothingly, as if telling me everything would be all right. Each time the phone rang there was no pause; he was leaving no messages. I wondered idly why, but a possibility that pained me opened up: he didn't want me back with him.

The thought was immediately discontinued. If I thought about him in even the slightest way, it hurt. If I didn't think about him at all, then there was nothing that could harm me. Yet I couldn't stop picturing his face in my mind, hurt and confused, the way it looked after I had sunk my nails into his skin and tore...

No. Stop it. I couldn't think about that, or I'd collapse into sobs and run home for comfort. I had to follow through with this, or face eternity to come knowing that I didn't do anything about myself the first time I hurt Edward, my Edward.

For a while, the phone calls stopped. But I mourned their passing; it was a faint connection to Edward that had been taken away. Even though he couldn't know if I was listening or not, if I even had the phone any more...he was just trying to reach me.

I abruptly grew angry. Couldn't he see what I was doing for us? That I had to do this to keep him safe, and keep our relationship safe? I had to do this, I had to get rid of these differences or else I would be unable to let myself continue being with him, knowing what I had done.

The calls started again and I glared at the caller ID, flashing _Edward Cullen_ in my face again and again. He was torturing me by doing this; I was sobbing and glaring at the phone, staring in devastation despite the anger.

Oh, how I wanted to go home, to go to him! The thought repeated itself in my head time and time again, but there was no way I could give in to what I knew would be the worst decision I could possibly make. I had to follow through with this.

But surely, a nagging voice suggested, I could talk to him? After all, he didn't know what I was doing. For all Edward knew, I was leaving him – or going to the Volturi myself, in contrast to what he had attempted.

The idea that he could think that propelled me to make a rash, irrational decision. In truth, I wanted to hear his voice one last time before I went through with this. The next time he called, the ID flashing insistently _Edward Cullen_, I snapped the phone open and held it to my ear.

Suddenly, it was silent. I seemed to have forgotten how to talk on a phone, but it seemed that he had too. There was no sound on the other end of the line, only a faint murmur. My ears were sharp, but not sharp enough to catch voices on the other end of human-made telephones. The 'buzz' when I was a human was a buzz now.

I heard a dry breath be sucked in, and then Edward's voice was in my ear, beautiful as ever but not quite velvet – it was hoarse and frantic. "Bella? Bella, is that you?"

I didn't even have to control my mouth. Instead, I whispered, "Edward..." Wincing, I tried to reign in the sadness that was echoing in every syllable.

He let out a sharp sound, a whimper crossed with a sigh. Relief. "Bella...Bella, please, come back. Where are you?"

"I can't..." I choked on the words but continued despite my breaking heart. "I have to go somewhere, Edward...I'll come back, I promise. I just – I have to go there, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Are...are you all right?"

"Bella, I'm fine. You're the one we're worried about." He answered too quickly for it to be true. He wasn't fine; I recoiled in horror. "Just come back home, Bella. You can't go there, please –."

Why was he so worried about me being a full vampire instead of this in-between vampire-cat? I disregarded it. "I know what I'm doing Edward. You read the story – the priestess can get rid of this curse...I have to..."

"Bella, listen to me," he pleaded. "You can't go there – we don't even know where it is. You don't have to go anywhere, just come back home."

"Yes I do," I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. Tears choked my voice and made it thick. "I do know where it is, but you can't go there. Don't try, I'll be fine."

"No, Bella, you won't –."

"Trust me, Edward, I know what I'm doing." There was silence on his side of the line.

"You do?" For some reason he sounded even more panicked. "You know what going to this...priestess will do and you're going anyway?"

"Of course," I whispered. "She'll remove the curse – and then I'll come back home, Edward, I promise. I'll be fine, I'll be back before you know it."

He was downright hysterical. "Bella, you don't know what going there will do. You can't go –."

"I can and I will," I replied sadly. "Edward, I'll be back as soon as I can. I'm sorry...I-I love you." Without waiting to hear his reply, I closed the phone, then opened it and turned it off.

Of course he would argue. Ever my Edward, he didn't want me to leave him just as much as I didn't want him to leave me. But this was a time that I had to enforce a separation to ensure that we would be together in the future. The hole in my chest widened and grew deeper. I clenched my arms tighter from the pain.

Time passed in wave after wave of agony. I kept the cell phone clenched in my fist, staring at the blank screen. If only...but I couldn't...it would kill me inside to hear his voice again...but I had to hear him...but I couldn't do that to him...

It swirled in my mind, tenacious and killing me inside, until I finally pricked my ears up at the mention of the flight I wanted. Looking up, I saw it pull into the gate. Finally, I could leave – but I had to wait while humans moved at human pace, checking and re-checking things, attaching this here and that there, pulling and pushing luggage...

It was torture to wait, knowing that this was delaying me. I felt like screaming at them to hurry up, yet praying that it would never take off, that I could just go home. Eventually, though, I saw my opportunity to dart into the cargo hold and took it.

I ran all the way to the back, furthest from the door. Perching on top of a bag, I watched as they closed the door and heard it locked. Above me, I could hear the people and with me, there were faint sounds of luggage nudging other bags, but no life forms.

Anxious and eager, I set my clothing on my lap and prepared for launch, listening vaguely to the flight attendants' instructions. My gut was clenching, twisting into a pretzel, but there was nothing I could do to help myself get rid of that feeling. After all, I was leaving Edward. There was nothing that could quench that pain.

My eyes drifted shut as I tried to think of anything but Edward, and soon enough I had forced myself to fall asleep.

There was a rumbling noise in my ears that woke me from my dreamless sleep. Trembling, I shook myself awake and listening in on talk above my head. The flight attendant was warning the passengers of imminent landing in Egypt.

Grateful that we were finally there, I quickly pulled on the other outfit I had, making sure I was completely covered in the right places. Making sure I also had a grip on any loose articles of clothing that could be lost, I readied myself to run out of the door as soon as it opened.

I blew past the worker who opened the door with ease, losing myself in the rush of people until I made it into a relatively unoccupied ladies' room. I checked myself in the mirror before I left, making sure I looked normal enough. The clothes I had been wearing were left in the baggage on the plane.

And the tiny cell phone was dropped in the trashcan as I left the restroom, buried in a pile of used paper towels.

* * *

_A/N – I hope that you enjoyed the chapter! I only have Internet access for right now, and I don't know when I will again, so enjoy the double update! Thanks for reading, and thanks for reviewing!_


	18. Facedown

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_Song To Listen To: "What I've Done" by Linkin Park. Basically, it's Bella saying a bit of a farewell before she goes to the temple and the priestesses – only she doesn't know what danger she's in. She wants her 'curse' to end, mostly because of what it caused her to do to Edward – metaphorically, 'mercy' in the song would be the Priestess taking away her 'curse'. Just take each line – they each mean something from the past chapters. Enjoy:) _

* * *

_**"What I've Done" by Linkin Park**_

_In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi: 'Cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies_

_So let mercy come, and wash away…what I've done_

_I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become: erase myself, and let go of what I've done_

_Put to rest, what you thought of me – while I clean this slate, with the hands, of uncertainty_

_So let mercy come, and wash away…what I've done_

_I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become: erase myself, and let go of what I've done_

_For what I've done, I start again – and whatever pain may come, today this ends: I'm forgiving what I've done_

_I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become: erase myself, and let go of what I've done_

_What I've done – forgiving what I've done…_

* * *

**_Curse _**

**Facedown **

Cairo was larger than I expected, but I was able to weave my way among the crowds easily enough. The city held no interest for me while I was on a mission like this. It was relatively simple to find my way to the outskirts of town, and once there, I snuck into a secluded alley.

Securing my outfit around me, I checked the position of the sun again: it was low in the sky, and definitely early morning. And I knew which direction south was because of that, hence my hiding in this particular alley, which offered a straight run out into the southern desert.

I set off at a run across the desert, intent on reaching my goal as soon as possible. I wanted to get this done with and go back to Edward – I could only imagine what he thought. He might be worried I was leaving him, or wouldn't come back: I didn't want him to think that.

I could make it up to him when I returned. I would make it up to him. I imagined myself coming back home as a normal vampire as I ran: the thought and image filled me with hope, spurring me on.

Soon, the desert was flashing by around me. It was complete desert: the land didn't have buildings on it, or houses, and I felt like I was running through a sea of sand. Was there a dust cloud behind me, form all this sand?

Glancing over my shoulder, I was gratified to note that there was no dust trail kicked up behind me. I was running so fast over the ground, it was like my feet hadn't even touched the piles of sand all around and underneath me.

At long last, something came into sight: a large, tall building surrounded by a small town. The large building had to be the temple. It looked like sand, compacted to form this magnificent building – the source of my salvation, I thought to myself. Where I would finally get this curse removed.

There was an alley in sight and I slipped into it. My outfit was still in place perfectly, despite my running: there was no skin uncovered. I stepped out into the sun: any glitter effect on my limbs was marred by the fabric, and instead made the cloth look strung with silver thread.

Curling my tail tightly against me as a precaution, I walked straight towards the temple without fear. I wondered whom I would meet there, who would be waiting for me. What could I say to whoever was there? What would I ask?

I gave myself no time to contemplate my answers to those questions: I grasped the handle of the door, barely looking at it, before I slipped inside. There was no hush on the streets outside, filled with various people, but inside it was absolutely silent.

Light stone floors were spread under my feet, and the sand-looking walls were identical to the outside appearance. The entrance room looked like a lobby without any seats: it was eerily familiar to Volterra. A young, brown-haired woman sat at a desk on the opposite side of the floor.

She looked up as I entered, and waited, watching me with a bored expression as I walked forward quietly. Not a sound was made in the large room until I spoke – then, my voice echoed around, bouncing off the walls. "Is there a Priestess here?" I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"There won't be until later tonight," she answered mechanically. I lowered my hood slightly, pricking up my ears in reflex. Her eyes locked on to them. "Ah, I see. We had someone break in to our temple about three years back for those – I assume yours is still whole?"

Her dead-looking face threw me off, but she was my only hope. "Yes, mine is." Why hadn't I thought to bring it? Of course – I was running from home at the time. "The other one was destroyed, however."

She sighed – even that sounded false to me. "A shame. The Priestess will be able to remove the curse despite that – we'll just be saddened that one of our heirlooms is no longer here. No matter."

I lifted my hood back up, suddenly and strangely glad that my face was still covered. She hadn't looked into my eyes yet: I lowered my gaze so she couldn't see them. This girl's inexplicable… 'deadness' frightened me. Yet…the temple was my only hope. I didn't know what to say, but I didn't need to.

"You'll have to come back just at sunset: the Priestess will be here then. Come in just as the sun sets behind the sands." With that, her eyes lowered and I was dismissed.

It was with a suspicious mind and worried heart that I left the temple. Keeping my head down, I walked calmly and managed to lose myself in alleys, eventually holing up in one where no one would find me.

Did I really want to trust this priestess? That woman at the desk was so…odd, so unemotional. What kinds of things had she seen for me not to affect her at all? Or was there something sinister about the place? In my haste to remove this curse of mine, I hadn't even paid attention to detail.

Was there something there that I missed? Was the eerie silence of the temple something important? Did it signify that there was a danger that I couldn't see? I didn't want to believe in my paranoia, however.

This was my only hope. This was the only chance I had to remove the effects of Victoria's amulet – well; it wasn't hers, rather the priestesses, but still! I couldn't believe I was even considering this, and yet…I was. It was the nagging feeling of something wrong that kept me second-guessing myself.

The memory of Edward's face kept drawing me back. So much pain, so much confusion…disbelief that I had actually hurt him…I was still unable to fully comprehend that myself. I had actually hurt him. Me, Bella Swan, the quiet shy girl that was still reeling from the fact that this godlike man loved her…

And I might have destroyed what we have together by what I did. Why couldn't I have controlled my temper? Why did I react like I did? What had caused my anger to blow up so inexplicably?

Then there was also my brief phone conversation with Edward. He obviously didn't want me to leave, but his desperate begging for me not to come to the temple – and what he sounded like when he heard I knew what I was doing – made me worried.

What did he know that I didn't? Or was he just so eager for me to come back, for us not to be apart, that I was just attaching an irrational fear to his voice? I was unable to wrap my mind around it and struggled fruitlessly to pull through the swirling, continuous thoughts that swamped my mind.

In the end, I tried not to feel anything – and due to my experience when he had left me before, I succeeded. At long last, I looked up and the sun was setting. Stepping out of my hiding place, I let my skirts swish around me as I began walking towards the temple. Soon, I was in front of it, approaching the doors.

When my paranoia began to come back, I remembered Edward and the reason why I was doing this. My Edward: my godlike angel. I wouldn't hurt him again, not if I had this single chance to change it. I could have killed him if I hadn't come back to myself at that moment! The thought made my stomach turn.

As a young girl, I had always thought I would see the world before my death. I had wanted to see places I had dreamed of or heard about, and when I met my angel, I thought it could be possible. If I were one of what my angel was, then I would be able to see that world he saw, be with him for eternity so we could see it together.

I never once considered that the chance to be together could be taken away from us.

Thinking we were immortal together after the red demon encounter was foolhardy, ironic. Once I was immortal, it hadn't mattered at the time that I was…_what_ I was.

I was a different type of immortal than he, and the fate of our relationship was in the balance, dangling even more precariously than before. I was foolish not to realize that, to see it before…I couldn't even think it now for the pain it caused.

It was ironic that before, he had told me to always be cautious around him, for he was so much more powerful than I. Now I was the danger, the demon, and for him to be close to me again was a horrible fate for him to suffer.

Telling myself it was he and his family that I did this for did not quell the anxiety I felt. The urge to run away from this place was still great, for some reason unfathomable to me in my current state of despair. Not caring had become my specialty for this task; if I didn't worry, then it didn't matter.

But still I felt as if I were sealing away my heart, in this curse that had chosen me to carry it. The red demon had gone insane, but I was still whole…to a point. The shielding of my decisions from my sister made me different than them, less whole in some way; what kind of inhuman creature like me could live without a future?

Not for long, for the removal of this curse would cost me something according to those who determined that they could, but then it would be gone. And I would be free.

So he would be free and I could be with him for eternity.

The stone sculpture standing in front of me was tall and crafted so long ago; no person save I stood outside of it, simply looking up. There were people there, milling around me, but I did not see them, truly. And I only heard the wind howling past, even in this crowded marketplace outside of the temple.

The sun was falling down behind the sands that swirled, shifting the sari around me and tugging at my hood. My long, skintight gloves hid my skin as I lifted a hand to steady the cover over my face.

The locals wore clothes much like this, for the type of community and the environment. I did not stand out here, for women were to be covered as such or be thought of as shameless.

Even if he came now, he would not know which person I was – there was many a woman in the same type of sari as I, numerous ones in the same color. My skin was hidden from the sun, and my hair was properly up and pinned, according to the desert custom of this area.

The only hint would be my scent, but in this marketplace there were so many perfumes that I reeled in them even as I smelled the humans' own flavors hidden under the aromas that assaulted me.

The temple of sandstone had one door, as I remembered from the day. Taking a look at the twilight, through the robed masses milling around in the marketplace, I caught glimpses of the people as well; a local in his desert trousers and shirt, a foreigner in her sundress, a pale person – likely a scholar – standing in the shadows, trying to move forward yet keep out of the sun at the same time.

I turned back to the door, knowing that attempting to hide from the sun here was exceedingly difficult. In five seconds the sun would be setting, and then I would go in as instructed. Wondering why they had such methods for this ritual was useless, as I had already found: only they knew the secrets, and I was merely the subject.

My tail swished underneath my clothes in the tight skirt, just the tip. It would be unnoticeable to any of the humans, so I was not worried. My ears pricked up a bit as the sun finally faded behind the dunes.

Breathing in slowly, I moved with the liquid grace I had started to become accustomed to and reached out for the silver handle of the stone door. It was molded into a cat, with piercing topaz eyes and a slightly humanoid figure despite its catlike physique, and distinct traces of red from the corners of its' mouth drizzling downwards. It fit.

Unable to resist a bittersweet last look, I bid my farewell to the setting sun with a quick glance over my shoulder to it, catching the last ray of light as it fell across my hand. The sheer gloves covered my skin in such a way that it didn't matter. The glitter effect was visible only to me, with the vampire eyes sharpened with what I had become.

Sealing my breaking heart, I resolved to find him after this was done. I had something to do now, and I faced the door, preparing to go through with it…

…and a heavy, hard _something_ slammed into my side, pushing me away from the door.

* * *

_A/N – I know. I cut it off here, and you're angry that I did. But I had to! The next chapter is when you'll find out who it is, and why they stopped Bella from making what was actually a huge mistake. :) _

_I know that the Prologue sounds a bit weird now because of how my writing has changed – and because it's not supposed to give anything away – but I wanted to show you where it fit in with the story, so I stuck it in here. I hope you enjoyed it!_

_Thanks for reading!_


	19. Reasoning

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_**Song To Listen To:** "Walk On" by U2. I can't even tell you, I just think that it fits, all right:) Okay. Enjoy!_

* * *

"_**Walk On" by U2**_

_And if the darkness is to keep us apart: and if the daylight feels like it's a long way off: and if your glass heart should crack before the second you turn back_

_Oh no, be strong: walk on, walk on: what you got they can't steal it, no, they can't even feel it – walk on, walk on; stay safe tonight…_

_You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been: a place that has to be believed to be seen – you could have flown away _

_A singing bird in an open cage who will only fly, only fly, for freedom: walk on, walk on – what you got, they can't deny it, can't sell it or buy it_

_Walk on, walk on: stay safe tonight…I know it aches, and your heart it breaks and you can only take so much: walk on, walk on, leave it behind_

_You've got to leave it behind: all that you fashion, all that you make, all that you build and all that you break _

_All that you measure, all that you deal, when you count on two fingers all that you steal_

_Heartache, heartache, heartache, heartache..._

* * *

**_Curse_ **

_**Reasoning**_

Before I could begin to struggle, I was being dragged away from the temple doors – and I was moving faster than any human eye could see. Panic surged: was it Victoria? I twisted around frantically in the arms of the person, vainly trying to see their face. I succeeded and instantly froze in shock.

Rosalie was glowering down at me. Without missing a beat, she heaved my frozen frame forward and shoved herself and I into a now-dark dead-end alley.

My mind was struggling to comprehend the fact that someone in my family had found me. Never mind that they had found me, Rosalie was the one to drag me away from the temple! If I had guessed that someone had known where I went, I would have thought Edward would be the one to stop me, if anyone!

My heart wrenched: did that mean I had hurt him badly? Bad enough to keep him from racing after me? Because I was certain that if Rosalie knew where I was, then the family knew, too. "Rosalie? What are you doing?" I asked, flummoxed: didn't she understand?

"What am I doing?" she growled. "You're trying to get yourself killed and you're asking me what I'm doing?"

That caused my thoughts to stop in their tracks. "What do you mean, get myself killed? I was just going to ask for them to –."

"Take away the creepy cat things, I know," Rosalie snarled. "I figured that out when you read the passage too, Bella! I knew what that meant, even though no one else seemed to understand what you were thinking! But you didn't read any further than that, did you?"

I was startled by her hostility. "Well, no," I answered truthfully. "But what does it matter that I didn't read further? I understood it: I got what I needed. The priestess can remove the curse –."

"But the cost is your life." Her eyes begged me to understand. "The only way to remove the curse is to kill you, Bella! Alice saw it happening after you ran from Edward – she could only see you in the future clearly in the brief moments when the cat…ness, was removed – then they killed you!"

"But – I don't…" MY mind was reeling. I recalled the girl in the temple, her dead face and eye avoiding. Suspicion crept into my mind. "How could they kill me? Who did?"

"There's at least one vampire in that temple, Bella," Rosalie hissed: I caught a glimpse of relief in her eyes, relief that I was listening. "A bit after that passage you read in English, there was another in Egyptian. I translated it on my own: the Priestess had an alliance with a vampire."

"So…" I struggled to wrap my mind around it. "They would have taken the curse away – and then the vampire would have killed me?" My breathing grew ragged from the realization of how close I had come to dying.

I wouldn't have had eternity afterwards with Edward. The vampire in the temple would have viciously murdered me. My hands found Rosalie's shoulders as I stumbled forward – she was uncertain for a moment, but I began crying tearless sobs that choked and strangled my airflow.

She didn't push me away: instead, she hugged me back, pulling me into a tight, comforting embrace. Murmuring soothing words, she kept me with her, and calmed me down.

But my mind wasn't on her. It was wrapped firmly around how close I came to making Edward endure eternity without me. We needed each other, a need that had propelled me to get rid of my differences so I couldn't hurt him. I just wanted what was best for us…

"I just wanted us to be together," I whimpered. "I just wanted to be happy – I don't want to look like this, Rosalie! I don't want to be like this, not some freaky 'cat woman' thing!"

Rosalie let me go and pushed me back slightly. "The second part I read is why I came after you." She was speaking fast, trying to get all her words out for some reason. "Alice didn't know in time to stop me coming after you, because I was out on my own thinking. It was a snap decision, and I caught the last plane across seas to here for at least twelve hours."

I stared at her, uncomprehending. She sighed heavily, looking around, before pulling me away and out of the alley. She led me at vampire speed through the streets, talking over her shoulder to me.

"The way the Priestess would have removed your curse was by another vampire's venom. A normal vampire's venom is different than yours – right now, there's something the amulet did that makes your body have the slightest bit of human blood left. Something about needing it for your ears, tail and claws, I don't know," she shrugged.

My heart was rising fast as she continued, "The point is the vampire would have killed you after you had finished changing 'all the way' into a vampire. You're not actually a full vampire yet, still susceptible to some human dangers. You would have aged if not for when Victoria put the amulet on you."

This was just too much to input at one time, but I still managed to process it enough to grow afraid when she mentioned age. "How do you know I haven't aged?"

She gave me a Look. "One, we would have noticed, trust me. Remember, vampire eyesight? And two, the book said that the amulet had to be on you before you were bitten to allow you to grow old. She bit you before the amulet went on, thus making your vampire transformation a little bit more complete – although it's not done. It's more like you're frozen, right on the very edge of becoming full vampire."

I stumbled as she dragged me further away from the small town, all the way out to the desert. We began running across the sand as the stars gradually appeared across the sky, a thin blanket of pale light.

One thing she had said stuck clearly in my head. "Another vampire's venom would completely change me, and get rid of the ears, tail, and claws?" I asked for confirmation.

Rosalie pulled to a stop – we were in the middle of nowhere. Turning to face me, she gave me a look that clearly said she knew what I was asking. "Yes."

"Can you?" I asked eagerly. "Can you bite me? Now?" I stepped forward slightly.

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you think I came all this way and messed with the airline's computers – which I would _so_ go to jail for if humans caught me – to make sure that the family couldn't follow? Edward would insist you be given a choice, and then find a way to distract you, saying he's perfectly fine –."

"Is he?" I interrupted. "Did I…did I hurt him? A lot?" I knew I'd hurt him, but not how badly…

She gave me an incredulous stare. "Of course not! Those scratches healed in seconds! There might be scars, but his venom healing the wound would have left them. Not your claws." I sighed in relief, but she wasn't done yet. "But you weren't in control of your anger – that came from an outside source."

"What are you talking about?" I scoffed. I wasn't willing to believe her, but I remembered, suddenly, how odd it had felt with Edward. I certainly hadn't acted anything like myself.

"It wasn't your fault that your temper was out of your control – the Priestess' vampire assistant had a hand in that," Rosalie explained. "Alice saw something while you two were out in the woods together. She didn't know who it was or why she saw them – there was a young woman with brown hair sitting at some kind of desk, but she had this thing in her hand. Alice said it looked like your amulet, but different, just slightly."

I was about to tell her about the girl at the desk, but Rosalie added, "Then she looked up and whispered something about 'enforcing anger' and 'making her come to me' which made Alice believe that she managed to influence your temper with that charm of hers – and her eyes were red. Vampire red, that is." My words died in my throat.

The girl at the desk, the one whose eyes I never looked directly at – she was the vampire! I hadn't even thought to try and catch her scent! I hadn't realized it! She must have been the one who would have killed me on the Priestesses orders!

Rosalie nodded to me: I realized that she already knew. "It was her in the temple, Bella. Alice saw that all happen, and then I couldn't take blocking my mind any more and ran from the house, concentrating on my worry for your safety so Edward wouldn't know.

"I had found the map in the book. I knew where the temple was, and while I was running, I tried to think about what we could do, as a family. We could all go after you, bring you back to safety together. I didn't even think about telling Alice: I already knew that she'd see us going to Egypt, and they'd start packing while I made the reservations.

It wasn't until I was to the airport, looking at the time table and finding the plane to book a flight on, that I even considered going after you alone.

"But as soon as the thought entered my mind, my cell phone began to ring. I only had a few minutes, so I booked a last-second flight and ran to the plane. The flights to Egypt are spaced apart enough that I knew they could only buy tickets for the next one.

"Then I got here and I spent several minutes going through the flights at lightning speed, messing up each and every one that was supposed to come to Egypt. The only airline they can book a flight on is a complete mess for the next three days because of the pileup."

I finally interrupted. "It's going to take three days?" The thought of being a complete vampire was very tempting, but I wasn't the masochist in my relationship: I remembered the pain. "Will it hurt just like the change?"

Rosalie didn't hesitate to spare my feeling. "It should only take twelve hours, but it will hurt like the transformation did. The book made it clear that it did – apparently, the Priestess that created the amulet didn't try just once on a slave before the legend turned out the way it did."

I shivered, wondering how many innocent girls had died because of this Priestess and this strange, mystical thing that I couldn't even begin to comprehend. It was hard to believe that everything was changing so quickly, but I did know what I wanted.

Rosalie told me that Edward was perfectly fine, and I knew I would feel much more at ease if I had to keep this form. But I also knew that this wasn't for Edward anymore, now that I knew I probably wouldn't have killed him.

This was for me. This was what I wanted. "Okay," I shrugged my shoulders. "Where can we go for this?"

She raised her eyebrows at my enthusiasm and began running again: I followed. "You are a masochist if you're so eager to go through with the pain again, Bella," she sighed. "My brother has nothing on you."

"Oh trust me," I told her as we neared Cairo. "Edward was a lot worse. I was the human with an overwhelmingly appealing scent – and who was the vampire who would spend the night with me? And kiss me every chance he got? No, _I've_ got nothing on _Edward_." His name didn't hurt to barely think anymore, I suddenly realized with joy. I was saying it.

Rosalie laughed in agreement. The musical sound was slightly hysterical: she was nervous about biting me and making the change complete. I could understand her fear – I wasn't all that happy about the pain myself – but I hoped that she would do it anyway. I didn't just want this…I _needed_ it.

We wove our way through busy streets around the outskirts of Cairo. On the very edge on the other side of the city, we found an empty warehouse. Neither of us could hear the beating of a human heart for miles around, and knew that no one would find us.

"Here," I told her, finding a cradle among the boxes to lie down in.

She helped me lean back before I exposed my throat for her to bite. Murmuring, "Sorry, Bella," she clenched her teeth around my marble skin as hard as she could, venom-coated teeth piercing my hard flesh.

The burning began immediately, and I clenched my teeth together in pain as I tried to keep my growing whimpers quiet…

LINE BREAK

When the pain had died, fleeing my body, I was left panting and breathing as hard as I could. The fire had targeted my nails, lower spine, ears and eyes, causing me to writhe and struggle not to scream from the pain. And even though I knew the end, it had still felt like eternity before I was no longer in agony.

Rosalie's face hovered above me, her eyes wide and panicked. "Bella? Is it over? Are you all right?" As she said it, I saw her eyes dart to my hands, head and back to my eyes – they flashed in triumph for a brief moment.

I sat up. Something definitely felt different…I looked over my shoulder, down my back. No tail. My hands – plain looking nails. I felt over my hair, and the ears were gone as well. Only one thing left – "Rosalie, what color are my eyes? What do they look like?"

She smiled, but it was shadowed by disgust. "Gold: no more cat pupils. I knew it would work! But, urgh…" She shuddered. "It was bad enough watching you in pain, but then your tail began withering and it fell into – dust! It was gross – then your nails, then the ears changed back to normal…your eyes didn't turn to dust, they were squeezed shut the whole time."

"Well, they hurt the most," I mumbled absently. It felt so strange, knowing that I was no longer bound as 'cat woman' any longer. For some reason, this felt very anti-climatic – I finally had what I set out to get, and now trepidation was downplaying the relief.

Only now was I considering what Edward must be going through, what I had put the family through in the past few hours. Alice had probably seen me here in agony, and Rosalie as the one who inflicted it – because of me. Guilt swarmed in again: this time, my sister saw it.

"Oh, no you don't," she warned, pulling me to my feet. I was surprisingly stable despite the torture that had been inflicted upon me for what seemed like eternity. "This was for you, and I know that despite what my brother will say he'll be happy you did this for yourself. He only wants you to be happy, Bella, and if this was what it took then he'll take it."

I knew that was true. "But _I_ want _him_ to be happy," I countered, following her as she led me at a run through the streets. "I want him to…" My words faded off as the scent hit my face.

Rosalie stopped, swore, and swung her arm around me before I could even contemplate movement. "Resist it, Bella," she warned me, voice edging towards frantic. I could barely hear her.

But I could answer. "Oh God – it reeks!" I covered my nose. "What is that?" Her incredulous stare was enough of an answer. "How can you find that tempting?"

She stared for a minute before shaking her head, golden hair swishing back and forth. "Bella, you are one of a kind…"she muttered.

We wove our way through Cairo after that, as fast as we could run to the airport. I tried not to breathe too much from the absolute reek of human blood, but it was a habit. I learned to deal with it quickly: the stench soon just became part of the surroundings.

Rosalie pulled me into a shop before the airport and shoved me into a dressing room. "Stay here," she buzzed tersely, disappearing for a few moments. I looked around: there were no security cameras in this stall, and we had been moving too fast for anyone else to see. The walls and door went all the way to the floor.

She was soon back with me, handing over clothing and stripping hers off at the same time. "We have to get more coverage – we're in Egypt, and we have to take a plane up north before catching another flight to New York." Rosalie told me at vampire speed.

I nodded and pulled off my other clothes with only a little bit of embarrassment. With the light jeans she had handed over, I also had a dark blue mock-turtleneck tank, elbow-length gloves, ankle boots and a plain white sweatshirt – with a hood. Her outfit was the same, but with a purple shirt.

My old clothes found their way into a trash can as we ran back out of the store. She took my hand and led me to the airport, dodging in and out of sunlight. At the human-infested area, we merged into the mob of people, keeping our hoods and heads up and confident.

I was just following her lead, but obviously Rosalie knew what she was doing. Both of us with impeccable posture and insurmountable vampire beauty – which I was half-uncertain I even had – we waded through the humans with ease. They parted as we approached and whispered while we passed.

I wanted to blush a deep red from embarrassment, but that was impossible. For some reason, it truly hit me then and I let a radiant smile slip onto my face for a brief spasm of time.

I finally, finally had what I had wanted for so long. Edward was a vampire, and I was a vampire, and we would soon be together – if Rosalie and I had anything to say about it, that is. I felt a new spring in my step as I followed her, marching straight towards the ticket counter.

I thought we were going to get in line, but Rosalie brushed right past to a special desk for certain customers. I stood at her side as she bought us both plane tickets, and then reserved our next set for the second flight.

With many ogling eyes following us, we strode to the gate just as they announced the last boarding call. It hadn't mattered which flight we took from here – the airlines to Cairo from New York were the only ones she interfered with, and we were taking an airline that had a flight from London to New York, but none from New York to Cairo.

Rosalie had chosen the first airplane taking off to shorten the time between now and when we would be home. She was just as eager to see Emmett, as I was to be back with Edward.

Both of us were extremely restless during the first flight, but we talked about the family. I felt closer to her during that flight. And I was grateful that we only had half an hour between flights once we landed in London – we were so eager to be with the family again.

Once we landed in London, I was startled to see Rosalie pull something out of her pocket. "You bought a new cell phone?" I exclaimed in surprise. She gave me a sheepish smile.

"No…unlike you, I didn't get rid of mine. I just turned it off so I wouldn't have to deal – although your way certainly added to the drama. Not to mention," she narrowed her eyes at me, "that's extremely similar to Edward's little Italy adventure…"

I winced. I hated thinking of that. "I didn't want to get myself killed, Rosalie," I murmured at a high-pitched and fast speed. It was surprisingly second nature to me to accomplish that. "I just didn't want the temptation of coming back without being normal."

"And look!" she smiled gently. "You are now – and we managed it without getting hurt." Her eyes flickered in surprise and she voiced her thought. "This was like some strange bonding time for us, Bella. Now it feels almost official that you're my sister."

"Thank you," I smiled. She flipped open her phone and hit the red power button. "Are you going to call them?"

"Even though they already know," she rolled her eyes. "I wonder, though…" Her eyes locked on a spot far away. "I already planned to do it this way…" The second the phone was completely on, it began emitting a tinkling ring tone. "Of course. Alice."

I was almost certain that 'this way' meant the plane to London from Cairo, but I couldn't be sure. I listened hard to the other side of the phone as Rosalie answered, "Alice, we –."

"We know you're both fine," I heard Alice's voice, heavy with relief. "And we just landed in London – Gate 15. Before you ask, I saw it when you first made the choice – after biting Bella." So that's when Rosalie decided.

Her eyes flickered to me and she offered a shy smile. "I'm glad you're not yelling yet, Alice, because I'd like to defend myself before you or Edward does." We weren't jostled as we came to a stop in the middle of the walkway, but I felt uncomfortable. And my stomach was doing back flips…

"Rosalie," I whispered, spying a food court. "I'm going to go sit down over there. Go to their gate: I'll wait here."

Her eyes were worried as she watched me walk away – and I heard Alice's voice on the other line say, "Why – no, never mind. She's not going to leave the food court, Rosalie, just come over here. We're about to get off the plane itself. And by the way, we're moving to London."

The last part about moving here made my heart tremble. I wandered through the tables, seeing the food court nearly void of people. It wasn't quite the time for humans to eat food.

Sinking into a seat, I put my head in my hands, staring down at the tabletop: my hair swung around my face, blocking it from sight. It squeezed my legs together, as if to take up as little room as possible. In reality, I was trying to overcome the guilt and worry that was wrapped in a thick blanket around me.

Were they moving just because of me? Had I disrupted our lives that much? Was I the reason for our move overseas? I didn't want to ruin their lives, I didn't want them to feel so obligated to move from our old home because of whatever memories it might hold.

But I couldn't deny the relief I felt. I didn't want to stay in that old home anymore – the sanctuary that was New York and the house no longer felt like a comforting memory. What I had done to Edward while hunting would be tied to that place for a very long time – I knew I'd get over it, certainly, but it was too soon right now for me to go back there.

And Edward…I wanted to see him so desperately. I wanted to have him hold me in his arms and tell me that he was all right. I wanted him to reassure me, and tell me that he would always be with me. I knew he would do that, and I felt guilty for wanting it so badly.

He and I had to talk. That was the only way I could come to terms with this. I needed to tell him my guilt, and make him hear me, and have him return the gesture. I needed to have him tell me what he was thinking while I was gone, and tell me how much I did hurt him.

I despaired of it happening. He would undoubtedly try to protect my feelings. And I needed him not to do that this time, but to tell me honestly what he thought. Resolve took over, helped me decrease the guilt just a little bit. I would do that – as soon as I could.

And then I sensed them. Just there, before the entrance to the food court, they walked towards the food area together in a group. I heard the faint whisper of Rosalie, explaining the last bit of our adventure. A slight smile appeared on my face as she wrapped it up as they turned the corner.

Then one person was moving towards me faster than the rest and I looked up. Edward, of course…he darted around tables and chairs, straining to keep himself at human speed and walking – but his strides were long and eager. And not a single movement spoke of pain, causing my heart to lighten.

His glorious eyes locked with mine: liquid fire and smoldering…they glowed with love. Love for me. I stood, pushing my chair back and taking a cautious step forward. My lips couldn't turn up in a smile: my eyes pleaded with him to forgive me.

His eyes didn't change much: they just burned with more love for me. I could almost see the worry pouring off of him as he strode around the last table separating us from each other. Only then did his arms come up, reaching towards me and only halfway risen before I threw myself forward.

Our arms wrapped tightly around each other and I breathed in his scent deeply hands splayed over his back and gripping tightly. His protective embrace enveloped me in a comforting, loving hold – I could feel him bury his head in my hair. I turned my face to his neck.

Edward whispered, "Bella…"

And I breathed, "Edward…" in return, joy drowning out everything as he finally held me in his arms again.

* * *

_**A/N –** That's all for this song! I have two more songs lined up before the end, and then this is finished:) Two more chapters! Then I'm going to recap all the songs I used for this and give you a final note (which will be in addition to the final chapter, the epilogue). The next chapter won't be that long, and the epilogue itself won't either, so I may just give them both to you at the same time. :) Who knows? Depends on what else I need to do. (Cough, 'Sunrise', cough)._

_Thanks for reading!_


	20. Reconciliation

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer. _

_Song To Listen To: "Here With Me" by Dido_

* * *

_**"Here With Me" by Dido**_

_I didn't hear you leave: I wonder how am I still here: And I don't want to move a thing: It might change my memory_

_Oh I am what I am: I do what I want: But I can't hide: And I won't go: I won't sleep: I can't breathe until you're resting here with me_

_And I won't leave: I can't hide: I cannot be until you're resting here with me_

_I don't want to call my friends, for they might wake me from this dream: And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been_

_Oh I am what I am: I do what I want: But I can't hide: And I won't go: I won't sleep: I can't breathe until you're resting here with me _

_And I won't leave: I can't hide: I cannot be until you're resting here with me: And I won't go: I won't sleep: I can't breathe until you're resting here with me _

_And I won't leave: I can't hide: I cannot be until you're resting here with me: Oh I am what I am: I do what I want: But I can't hide_

_And I won't go: I won't sleep: I can't breathe until you're resting here with me: And I won't leave: I can't hide: I cannot be until you're resting here with me _

_And I won't go: And I won't sleep: And I can't breathe until you're resting here with me: And I won't leave: I can't hide: I cannot be until you're resting here with me _

* * *

**_Curse_ **

**Reconciliation**

However long Edward and I stood wrapped in each other's arms wasn't nearly enough time for me. When our eager family forcibly pulled us apart, I made sure that our hands stayed tightly entwined.

Emmett lifted me off the ground in a bear hug: Jasper gave me a brotherly hug, and Carlisle wrapped one arm around me in a fatherly hug: Esme pulled my head to her shoulder: Alice let her head fall to my shoulder. Even Rosalie joined in, giving me a smaller hug and staying at my side after letting go.

I noticed that she kept carefully to the opposite of Edward – and his hand had tightened around mine greatly when she hugged me. Sighing, I pulled myself back into his arms and nuzzled close to his ear to whisper, "Be nice."

"What for?" he replied, voice rough velvet.

"This is what I wanted," I replied, breaking away to look in his eyes. They made me feel melted, light: the pain and sadness as he looked at me was almost too much to bear. "I wanted to be normal, Edward, that's all I wanted…"

I couldn't even begin to describe how much I wanted it.

"I know," he soothed, running a hand through my hair. I was so used to the gesture that had become part of me for these two long years, but after a moment I realized that I had been waiting for the catlike joy to spread through me at the sensation.

Instead, I was met with only the reflexive joy that it caused me, as if in expecting the glee I had grown used to, my body had manufactured something else in response. It was enough to prove to me that I was truly a normal vampire now, and the thought made me grin widely.

But why did Edward look so apprehensive, so sad, when I let my hands drift to his shoulders? I was given no time to figure it out: Alice's hands closed over one of my arms and she began tugging me beside her. My other hand wrapped around Edward's instinctively as the crowd of Cullens – myself included – began moving towards the exit.

It was eerily quiet in our group as we moved through the airport. I had the sense that they were waiting to berate me for my actions, holding off until we had reached a secluded spot where no one could overhear us. And I was expecting it, all of it.

I knew that I had been reckless and foolish: to run off like that had been a scary duplicate of Edward's run to Volterra, at least in their eyes. Because of my lack of knowledge, I had almost gotten myself killed – and they thought I knew exactly what I was doing the whole time.

The truth was that I had been acting blindly, on impulse and instinct. Edward had been in 'danger': I had removed the perceived threat. I had been willing to go to any lengths to make sure I would never hurt him again, and I had to admit that I was now content with my fate.

All I had wanted was to be normal. That was it. And now I had it, and I truly felt normal – even thought I was a vampire. In a sense, I was an average vampire and that made me happier than I could ever possibly hope to convey to Edward.

Instinct told me that he wouldn't understand until I explained it to him. He would think the worst of himself, that he had pushed me into my actions or worse. And I couldn't let him think that, couldn't let him dwell on incorrect thoughts like those. I just…couldn't. Wouldn't.

So I was as eager to reach a place void of any listening humans as Edward and my family was: I wanted the time to hear what they had to say and let my part be heard, so we could get this all out in the open. I didn't want this to fester and stay inside of us forever. That could be quite literal for us…and I wanted Edward to be happy again.

I could see it in his eyes as we strode through the terminal exit together, carry-on bags in the grips of everyone save Rosalie and I. In Edward's eyes, a pain and torture was reflected that I had come to know as self-blame, self-doubt – he was already considering this his fault that I had gone to Egypt.

That look was not one that I liked being in his eyes. Right there beside the baggage claim, I wanted to take his face between my hands, force him to look into my eyes, and tell him sternly that this was in no way his fault. Nor was anyone at 'fault' – this was what I wanted, after all. I got what I came here for.

But a nagging part of me muttered that I had almost gotten more than I had bargained for. That was a fact. I would certainly be more careful before making rash decisions in the future – for instance, I wouldn't go off somewhere on my own. I'd stick with my family.

They all loved me dearly, just as I loved each and every one of them. I couldn't picture my future without any of them, least of all Edward. And I didn't want to leave any of them behind, ever again. Twining my fingers with Edward's, I realized it was easier to think of it than to know that I could control everything in the future.

I wasn't trying to: was I? No, I was trying to make myself see how it would always be wiser to keep close to my family. They cared about me very much, and I knew that if something could harm them, or me they'd tell me. And stop me from doing it. Rosalie had proved that point.

I had not been as close to Rosalie as any of my other siblings or my parents – and no one's relationship to me quite compared with the one between Edward and I – but this trip had severed to put us on some level of closeness. She had been there for me just when I needed her, and done what she, too, thought was right.

And as much as I was grateful for her interference before our family could get involved, I couldn't help worrying for her. I was sure that our family would be slightly mad at her – at least a little – for giving me exactly what I wanted when none of them could reach either of us.

Praying that they wouldn't be too harsh on her, I watched my sister's silhouette against the cloudy, gray sky as we stepped outside into the air of London. She looked exquisite as always – and closer than I had ever been to her, while we were with the family. She was right at my side now.

Glancing down, our eyes met and I felt my lips twitch in a half-smile. Rosalie returned the gesture before her head turned to her husband. He kept glancing at her every few minutes as well; as if afraid she'd disappear from his sight again. I wondered what he was thinking.

Then I glanced at Edward, and I didn't need to wonder: it was written all over his face. The topaz eyes I loved were locked with my own, making me feeling slightly pinned under his watchful, relieved gaze. He wasn't content – that wasn't the right word – but it certainly felt 'right' for both of us to be together. That I could feel, between us.

I was almost positive that Carlisle had rented cars for us, and I vaguely recalled Rosalie mentioning at a hush in my ear that Alice had picked out a house for us in the online house market of England. It was somewhere out in the countryside: that, I did know for sure. But I could only see Edward's eyes…

Though my vision was completely focused, even as I found myself loaded in the back of a car headed out of the city, I was thinking about everything. Like Carlisle: was he happy to be back in England? Would he want to visit the places of his youth, see what had changed since his transformation into a vampire?

I wouldn't know, but Esme might. She was his mate, after all. But I didn't know Edward that well, did I? Even after over two years together as vampires, I was still surprised by his actions – and I knew that he couldn't guess all of mine. If he could, this whole situation with Egypt would never have happened.

But that was the beauty of a relationship, wasn't it? Knowing a person well, a loving them deeply, but also being surprised every now and then. Not knowing absolutely every single little thing: learning new things about them that you hadn't known before: these made love worth it.

My philosophical thoughts weren't enough to distract me from Edward when I heard his velvet voice murmur, "We're almost there, Bella." I grew startled when I realized that he wasn't even driving, that our arms were wrapped around each other in the back of the car and we had been staring into each other's eyes for the past minutes.

A glance in the front of the car showed Jasper and Alice, with little smirks on their faces that were slightly dampened – likely by the just-past situation that had frightened everyone so horribly. When my head turned to look out the window, I saw what could only be described as countryside flashing by the window.

But around the edges of the meadows, trees sprang up, creating lush forests and beautiful landscapes. The damp feeling of the air that even a vampire could feel created a certain gloom that wasn't quite depressing – rather, it was solemn. Perfect for the occasion and mood of the conversation yet to come.

There were quite a few trees now that we were passing, and Jasper turned the car onto a smaller road that quickly became a tunnel through dense, heavy tree limbs. I was amazed to find that the branches weren't scratching up the exterior of the car.

My curiosity was also piqued by my knowledge of England: would the house be a tiny cottage? Something that I had seen pictured in a magazine of England – quaint, homey and old? Then it came into view.

"What kind of house market did you look on, Alice?" I yelped, sitting upright sharply.

It was a large stone creation that rose two stories in height, only stones it seemed. No wood, no drywall and no plaster: just stone and mortar. But the large house had deep-set windows with space for window boxes, and the front door was wood. There was also a straw roof: a thatched creation that looked almost complicated and Old Country-ish.

Alice shot a glance back at me with a small smile gracing her lips. "Esme's going to replace the roof, of course, and the window boxes are going to be her other main project. And I found it online, Bella – that's enough of an explanation for anyone."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Obviously this house had cost a lot of money, despite its strange mix of 'huge manor' and 'quaint home'. Letting it go, my fingers twitched as the car came to a stop in front of our new house. This was it – we were all alone, no human life here: surely the interrogation would start soon?

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me forward beside him as the eight of us converged on what was going to be our new home. Esme eagerly pushed open the front door and we filed in.

She seemed pleased to find the bare, slightly dusty floor and clean stone walls a good thing. But no one made a single move in any direction: instead, they formed a circle in the middle of the room.

I swallowed hard. All eyes were riveted on me.

I felt like I had to say something in my defense. I didn't know what to say: I just felt the urge. So I opened my mouth. "I know that what I did was reckless, and I could have died – but I didn't know that they would have killed me. I just wanted to be a-a normal vampire, not a freak…"

"You were never a freak," Esme gently scolded me, coming forward to take on of my hands in hers. "You were a part of our family, and always have been. Nothing that's different about you would ever change that, Bella."

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "You don't see yourself clearly at all," he whispered, long-forgotten words that I once knew couldn't be true. But now, they seemed to be real. "You'll always be just Bella, no matter what else happens around you."

I felt inclined to believe him, more out of hope that he was right than anything else. Jasper smiled a grim little grin. "I'm glad you're taking us so seriously – because we're right about this, Bella. You shouldn't have gone off by yourself like that – it takes more than a scratch to hurt a vampire. Edward was never in any danger from you."

It was surprising how easily he had hit on the worst fear of mine during that time while I decided that I had to leave and go to Egypt. Was he right, though? "…Really"

"Of course!" Edward hastened to make me understand. "You startled me, definitely, and it hurt of course – venom always does as it heals. But you couldn't have killed me just from that. You wouldn't have, either, no matter how angry you were. And even if you had managed to tear me to shreds, I highly doubt you would have set a fire to me after that."

I winced from the crude imagery that popped into my head at his words and squeaked, "Are you sure?"

"For one thing, you'd have to come back to the house for the supplies to start a fire," Alice smiled gently. "For another, even with whatever rage that priestess or vampire had working on you, you'd never have gone far enough to kill Edward like that."

Their words made me feel just a little bit better. I was about to let it go when I realized I had forgotten something. "The amulet! The one you saved, Edward! Where –?"

"We destroyed it." His eyes were slightly flat at the memory, angry that such an innocent-looking trinket could cause me, and us, so much misery. "We had to do something before coming after you, and before we left for London we made sure it was destroyed."

"Oh…thank you," I murmured. What to say now? I wondered if we had gone over everything. Maybe we had. I didn't have anything that I wanted to say now…

Edward seemed tense, though: I was sure he was about to say something. I couldn't see his face: instead of his words passing into the strangely tension-filled air, I found myself being tugged back to the door. "Come with me?" he murmured in my ear gently.

I couldn't have refused even if I wanted to. Our family turned away from us, as if sensing that we needed to have a private talk, before Edward turned me around and led me out the door, arm around my waist.

Finding myself out in the countryside again, this time on foot, I allowed Edward to guide me across the ground and into the thick, older trees. There was just something about this place that seemed as old as the forests of my old home, yet in a more dignified old than the 'wild' feeling of Forks.

My feet followed his step by step as we walked under the trees together. We were heading aimlessly into the forest, with no real destination in mind. I waited for him to say something – anything – but it took until we were far enough away that no one from the house could hear us before he did come to a stop.

I paused beside him, looking up at his face. Those golden eyes were shadowed with love and undeniable relief. But that was also swirled with pain – pain for what? "Bella," he whispered, placing one hand against my cheek.

Leaning into his touch, my face and eyes betrayed none of the hidden fears I was trying to suppress – the fear that he'd be mad with me, that he would tell me something I didn't want to hear…and I didn't know what I didn't want to hear, either.

Probably something along the lines of 'I don't want a girlfriend like you': completely irrational, but that specific fear lived in me. "Yes?" Our eyes stayed locked on one another for several long minutes before his slid closed. As if he couldn't bear to look at me while he spoke.

"…Do you have any idea how much pain I went through, thinking you had gone off on your own…on a mission much like mine to…Volterra? Only you were going somewhere else…and I didn't know where you were – Alice only saw that you were going to die…and I couldn't stop you…

"Then when Alice's visions changed the first time…she saw you with Rosalie, and I was…unbelievably happy. More than you can imagine, Bella…and then Rosalie made another decision, although Alice's visions skipped over it entirely…and I – she – _we_," he corrected himself, "saw you in pain…

"It looked like you were going through the transformation again…I couldn't stand the thought of you in pain, while I was here and unable to do anything about it…again, I couldn't help you…" He was struggling to find words. And if we could cry, we would both have been letting tears fall freely.

My hand drifted to his own face, stroking gently across his cheek. "I…" My own words failed now.

He pressed on, opening his eyes to let me see the intense, burning flames in them. "Please tell me you comprehend, Bella…tell me that you grasp I can not got through something like this again…" His eyes pleaded with me to understand.

"Neither of us can," I whimpered, pulling myself closer to him. "You can't either, Edward. I wouldn't be able to handle it any more than you would…I know, I know that I was reckless and that I made a stupid choice and followed the wrong instinct. I couldn't help it then, but I'm going to try to remember now…that's all I can promise you."

"That you'll try?" One of his arms was tight around my waist, holding me in a fierce hug that I returned. "Promise me…" I felt his lips on my cheek, kissing lightly – like drying a trail of nonexistent tears, tears that never would be.

"Yes – I promise."

I moved my head before he could stop me, but when our lips connected I knew he had lost any will to evade a kiss. It was desperate, passionate and full of the grief that we let go: the pain that lessened by the minute: the fears that abated as every soothing stroke melted into my mouth.

I felt alive again. Finally with Edward, after the strangely long journey that had taken me to Egypt and back. I felt whole with him like this, complete. It was a wonderful feeling, to know that he was here and always would be.

Finally, when we broke apart and were staring into each other's eyes again, I managed to ask, "Am I forgiven?"

Hesitance flared in his eyes. "Yes."

That hesitation wasn't about the question itself. "I know that it will take you a while to trust me – to know that I won't do anything like that ever again."

"But you forgave me without pause," he countered, ancient grief rising at the mere memory. "You trusted me again, even though I had effectively ripped your heart out and stomped on it…killed you without changing you into a vampire…and you were still the living dead despite that…"

The chilling reference to something that I, too, had named thus wasn't enough to shake my worries. "I always trust you – I don't trust myself. I told you that."

He shook his head. "And I keep telling you that you don't see yourself clearly at all…I trust you, too, Bella. I do." He was lying: I could see it in his eyes.

"No, you don't. Not yet." I raised a hand to silence him. "I don't mind, Edward." And I found that I truly didn't. After all… "I need – maybe even want – to earn your trust in me. Have it because I deserve it, not because you want it…don't ask me to explain it any more, Edward, please…do you love me?" I asked abruptly.

"Of course." Not a pause in his admission.

"Then that's all I need for now. And I will earn your trust someday, Edward – I know that. You know that. Please, let's leave it at that…" His eyes softened as he took in the blunt truth of my words. He might not agree with them completely, but I saw that he wouldn't try to convince me otherwise.

And I knew that I was right: he didn't completely trust me yet. I also wanted to work for it: feel like I earned it. Like I finally deserved to have Edward love me – that was another thing I truly wanted. I would get it, after time.

"Come on," I whispered, letting a chaste kiss touch his lips before pulling back. "Let's go back to the house, all right? We have some work to do…" He smiled, turned and walked beside me back to the newest place that I would come to know as home.

* * *

_A/N – Yeah, long time coming for the update and all that good stuff I say every time. Sorry as always, guys:) I hope you did like this chapter just as much as the others, and I want to let you know that there's only one more chapter to go – then this story is finished! I'll be sad to let it go, but thank you for supporting this story!_

_Thanks for reading!_


	21. Glimpses

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and am not Stephenie Meyer._

_Song To Listen To: "Real Gone" by Sheryl Crow._

* * *

_**"Real Gone" by Sheryl Crow** _

_I'm American made – Budlight, Chevrolet: My momma taught me wrong from right: I was born in the south, sometimes I have a big mouth _

_When I see something that I don't like – I gotta say it…Well we've been driving this road for a mighty long time paying no mind to the signs_

_Well this neighborhood's changed, it's all been rearranged: We've left that chance somewhere behind_

_Slow down, you're gonna crash: Baby, you're a-screamin it's a blast, blast, blast – and look out babe! You've got your blinders on_

_Everybody's looking for a way to get real gone – real gone, real gone_

_Look there's a new cat in town, he's got high-paying friends – thinks he's gonna change history _

_You think you know him so well, yeah you think he's so swell – but he's just a perpetuating prophecy _

_Come on now: Slow down, you're gonna crash: Baby, you're a-screamin it's a blast, blast, blast – and look out! You've got your blinders on_

_Everybody's looking for a way to get real gone – real gone, real gone, real gone…uh! _

_Well you can say what you want, but you can't say it 'round here, cause they'll catch you and give you a whipping _

_Well I believe I was right when I said you were wrong: you didn't like the sound of that – now did you?_

_Slow down, you're gonna crash baby you're a-screaming it's a blast, blast, blast – look out! You've got your blinders on: everybody's looking for a way to get real gone_

_Well here I come and I'm so not scared – got my pedal to the metal, got my hands in the air_

_Look out, you take your blinders off, everybody's looking for a way to get real gone – real gone…real gone…ooh! Real gone…_

_Real gone..._

* * *

**_Curse _**

**Glimpses**

"How's this one?"

A dark blue bathing suit appeared in my line of vision. Silver stitching around the edges created little leaves and larger roses sewed the same way appeared on the right hip and both side of the top. The thing was thankfully void of strings and instead had a racing back top – almost like a sports bra – and shorts on the bottom.

It was obviously a winner compared to all the string things and thongs that Alice had thrust at me already. "You already knew it was this one, why waste time with all the others?" I groused, taking it from her hands: I couldn't' help but smile as I felt the soft, silky material between my fingers.

"I had to give you options, didn't I?" my sister laughed before darting into the closet to pull her own swimsuit on. "Go ahead, change out there – I'll wait until you're done." I looked around me at the empty, grandiose bedroom that served Alice's taste of the moment – elegance and romance.

The room would probably be redecorated by the next day. I smothered a grin as I quickly shed my plain sundress and donned the suit: it was perfectly covering, even though the fact that it was a bikini still grated on my nerves. Oh well: it was still nice.

And I had to admit that even without a mirror, I probably looked pretty decent. Alice came bouncing out of the bathroom the instant I was finished adjusting it on my body, grinning widely and already reaching out to fix it wherever she thought it didn't look quite right.

Alice looked stunning: her suit was a brilliant, fiery red that sparkled and shimmered with an almost sequin-like dazzle. It was technically a one piece, but the middle section was barely an inch wide, connecting the halter-top of the suit to the bottoms across her stomach.

"There. Beautiful." She pronounced me ready to go. We each threw covers on – for me, my sundress and for her, a mesh pool cover – and raced each other out the back door. From there, we ran side by side towards the secluded pond that had become our swimming pool, for lack of better term.

It was only a few miles out. I reveled in the run. I had found my love of running alongside Edward back in our first move – London. And the love kept strong when we went to Milan, Paris, Rome, the Greek islands, Spain…every tourist destination in Europe, Edward had taken me to.

It was part of my wish, to see the world…and now we had moved on from Europe to other parts of the world. This place was my favorite, so far: I hoped that we would be able to come back some day.

Far-off laughter drew me out of my daze. It wasn't really that far: the laughter was echoing from our pond, which was on the property of the house we had bought in this particular city. I eagerly increased my pace, nearly catching up to Alice in my haste.

She glanced over her shoulder at me, grinning widely. "Don't worry – he'll absolutely love the suit." I stuck my tongue out at her, prompting more laughing and an increase in her own pace. Sometimes I really disliked being the slowest runner in my family.

When we broke through the trees, there were several feet of dirt-covered rocks, moss, and spurts of grass. It trailed right up to the edge of the little pond, where the ground suddenly turned to water-smoothed pebbles and clear, pale blue and white water.

Rising behind the miniature lake was a rocky cliff side: the swimming hole was rather large, and the rocky precipice rose quite a few feet in the air. Toppling from the ledge was a stream of icy melted snow, forming the cascade of water that ran down into this spot.

Taller mountains stood all around us: this forest was right at the base of the largest one, and our house had a spectacular view of the mountains with the sun setting in ripples of orange and red. The ledge where water streamed off into our small pool was just high enough to double as a high dive, the pool deep enough to allow it.

My family was clustered around the edges: Esme and Carlisle treaded water, side by side closer to the edge than the deep blue center. My brothers and Edward were swimming around the center there, splashing each other and laughing together.

Alice and I headed for Rosalie: she was spread out on a towel at the far side of the pool, in the line of the sunlight: she glittered like a diamond, a beautiful mirage of sparkles embedded in her skin. The bathing suit draped on her body seemed to be the typical string bikini – designed to cover as little as possible and jet-black in color.

She cracked one eye open as we approached, smiled in our direction, and let her eyes drift shut again. Without a word, Alice and I took a seat on either side of her and stretched out across our own towels. I locked eyes with Edward for one instant and exchanged a smile before lying back and basking in the glorious warmth.

I felt undeniably content as I lay in the brilliant, bright sunshine. His trust in me was slowly built back up: although slightly fragile, I knew that was only to be expected. I couldn't believe he would ever trust me absolutely, but he was getting closer to it.

And I was getting closer to trusting him, as well. Even though so much time had passed in human years, I knew that we couldn't measure by that same standard. As far as we knew, we would live forever. That put quite a damper on the human standards of time.

For my part, I knew that I could trust him now. Years had passed and there was no sign from him that he was losing interest, that our love was dying or otherwise in jeopardy. He was coming to believe in me as well. And that was truly all I needed.

It was enough to soak this day in warm contentment, in life. I rolled my head slightly, easing the semblance of tension from my shoulders. I felt utterly relaxed, lying here with my sisters and listening to the background noise comprised of the chatter made by my family.

For several endless hours, I lay there with my sisters until I began to feel a pang of loneliness. It wasn't quite loneliness, however: more like a longing for something. I knew all too well what that longing was for.

Peering out of one eye, I watched until Edward, Emmett and Jasper had flown into another laughing, water-splashing battle. Flipping to my knees, I locked eyes with Alice and Rosalie one after the other while I stood. Each grinned and closed their eyes in lazy relaxation again.

Taking my steps quickly, I flitted into the trees to stay out of sight of everyone. Making my way to the cliff side, I took the narrow pathway up the rocky face of the mountain to the ledge where the water ran over.

Then I paused: from up here, the air was so crystal clear and the forest around me was truly breathtaking. It was a scene that would have inspired many a human artist, had they the capability to reach this spot.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

I jumped at the light, teasing comment: whirling around, I managed to just barely keep my footing on the very edge of the cliff. Edward's arms wound around my waist before I could possibly fall over the edge.

Huffing, I grumbled, "I wanted to surprise you!"

"I know." His smug grin told me where he had seen what was happening. "Alice couldn't keep the vision out of her mind – and I knew a quicker way up here. Probably because you tried to be secretive."

I couldn't really be mad at him: there was nothing to be mad about, for that matter. "Oh, you…" I sighed, letting a gentle smile fall over my lips. Grinning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in a wildly passionate kiss that left me completely breathless and wanting more.

"That's unfair," I gasped, not needing the air but finding the habit hard to resist. He nuzzled my neck: I felt his smile on the side of my neck.

"Mm, really? I didn't know," he teased. I tried to open my mouth to say something more, but his lips stopped me again. It was futile to resist his kisses: I gave in with a blissful murmur of approval. When he pulled away, he took my words away with him.

"What say we head down now?" His topaz eyes glittered as they bore into mine. It took me a moment to realize what he was saying – that he was even talking, for that matter – and once I did, I felt the smile spread haphazardly across my face.

"That sounds wonderful," I agreed.

Edward smiled as he released most of me – all except for one hand. We stood side by side, looking out over the forest before us. There was something about the moment I couldn't quite put my finger on – a sense of almost-déjà vu, or remembering something that felt almost like this.

Standing at Edward's side before a fantastic leap off into something else…whatever the feeling or even or place or whatever it was, was – it was something else. What I knew now was not what I knew then.

That much was very certain.

So I looked to him, standing beside me. He was looking down at me, eyes sparkling with a hunger that had nothing to do with thirst as they raked over my body, the swimsuit Alice had handed me earlier that day.

He was wearing black swim trunks – my favorite color on him. I smiled just at the thought of that color on him: it made my Edward look so gorgeous. Even though he always looked incredibly handsome. The color black just made him look so much more so.

As I looked at him, I couldn't think about anything else but all the goodness that was in my life now.

I had the Cullens: Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett…

I had a new life: a vampire life…

I had a wonderful home – and a new one, a new location, every few years or so…

I had a life that I could never have dreamed of. I had a family that loved me and I, them. I had a wonderful man in my life that was everything I could have asked for and more. I had eternity to be with him. What more could I ever asked for? Nothing. What more could I say?

I looked him straight in the eye. "I love you, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen."

He would have been startled had he not somehow felt the same spirit, the same life, that I did standing there with him now. His eyes were so incredibly soft and gentle as he returned my loving smile. "I love you too, Isabella Marie Swan…Cullen."

I loved the sound of it. Every time I heard it pass his lips. We laughed together at the sound of both our names, ending the same way. 'Cullen'.

Rocking back on one leg, then taking that step forward and pushing off, into the air – both of us, at the same time. We flung ourselves out into thin air and plummeted towards the crystalline water.

I felt his hand encircling mine as we fell: that was where he would always be, beside me. Loving me. Supporting me. And I, him: the same way.

We hit the water together. As one.

* * *

_A/N – Aww… :) Sappy endings are my specialty, I believe. And do you know how long this scene has been in my head? I really hope I did it justice: I'm almost positive that I did. I really hope so, anyway._

_And this is it. THIS IS IT! The ending of it all. Oh, the tragedy…I had so much fun writing this one. You know, this is the first one I think I've managed to finish? Amazing, isn't it? I'm so glad I was able to finish it. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to. And now this is one off my workload that I don't have to make sure I keep updating, which will thus free me to complete the others that I know I need to work on. Really had. Yes. _

_So! The last A/N will be tacked onto this chapter, just because. I hope you've enjoyed this story! I know I have. :) Love you all!_

_Thanks for reading!_

* * *

_**THE FINAL A/N OF 'CURSE'**_

**'Curse' Playlist Review**

_"Dani California" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers – Prologue_

_"Savin' Me" by Nickelback – Reception_

_"Born To Lead" by Hoobastank – Change_

_"Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray – Transformations_

_"What I Wouldn't Give" by Holly Brook – Thoughts_

_"Out Of Control" by Hoobastank – Learning_

_"Please Forgive Me" by David Gray – Discovering_

_"Time Is Running Out" by Muse – Fight_

_"How To Save A Life" by The Fray – Sanctuary_

_"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback – Discussion_

_"It Ends Tonight" by the All-American Rejects – Farewell_

_"The Long Way Around" by The Dixie Chicks – Overview_

_"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield – Thoughtful_

_"Summer Rain" by U2 – Showing_

_"The Sharpest Lives" by My Chemical Romance – Anger_

_"You Are The One" by Shiny Toy Guns – Runaway_

_"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day – Departure_

_"What I've Done" by Linkin Park – Facedown_

_"Walk On" by U2 – Reasoning_

_"Here With Me" by Dido – Reconciliation_

_"Real Gone" by Sheryl Crow – Glimpses_

**Final A/N – A huge thank you to all of my reviewers. I love each and every one of you, no matter what you told me! So here you all are (from Chapter One to last chapter, as of 9/25/07): **

Addie W., FeuBrillant, Hotaru89, Em'sGirl23, 'Michele', apple.parachute, theloserhobbs, NotMixedEqually, amsrule, Isabella-Anja, Jennifer, liz, deludedfreak, Priestess Kohana, twilightgirl1918, xox-Candy-Canexox, Deliriously Withdrawn, wrecking hotel rooms, Serenity Argetlam, Bella Sangue, Chrissienuil, luvs2danc, ithinki, XxMarie.Alice.Brendon.CullenxX, themysterious"H", lostxinxtwilightx, Piper of Locksley, quietandclear, ljv, irockupurple, Katluva0323

**And all those who added me to their Story Alert list (oh, thank you:) That's so sweet, you guys!): **

.in.love.w.Levi.aka-Sagatis, Adele19, Aleakim, AllisonWalnut620, Bellezza-Eterna, Clarks Blue Eyed Angel, Dazzled Dragonfly, Deliriously Withdrawn, Em'sGirl23, Fall out of grace, Hotaru89, Isabella-Anja, Kttn851, LadyMiyu, MiSelf014, Monkey-en-TuTu, Nahenahe, Nature's Tempest, OnlyALullaby, Priestess Kohana, Serenity Argetlam, TwilightMoon7765, XxMarie.Alice.Brendon.CullenxX, amsrule, degausser, irockupurple, ithinki, justadreamer1980, lostxinxtwilightx, luvs2danc, quietandclear, reginah72, serinity lena, starslaugh, wrecking hotel rooms

**And those who, by honor of honors, put 'Curse' on their Favorite Stories lists (now I'm blushing! Thank you all!): **

Armed and Fabulous, Bella Sangue, Bkcbookworm, Count.Applesauce, Dazzled Dragonfly, Em'sGirl23, Hotaru89, Isabella-Anja, Katluva0323, MiSelf014, MidnightAsh7184, Monkey-en-TuTu, Nature's Tempest, Of Wolves and Witches, Piper of Locksley, Priestess Kohana, XxMarie.Alice.Brendon.CullenxX, amsrule, angstar54, deludedfreak, lostxinxtwilightx, luvs2danc, mwacha, omgoshxitsxmeg, wrecking hotel rooms, xoxCandy-Canexox

**I would like to thank all of you: I know this isn't one of my most popular stories and I considered stopping it a few times, but I decided to keep it going – for all of you. :) I sincerely hope you enjoyed it! I loved writing for all of you! Thank you so much for reading!**

**Love you all! Thanks for reading 'Curse'!**

BlueSea14


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